Page 20 of Invocation

Aruna, a stranger, appeared in front of her. His hands were on her arms, his bright eyes wide. His mouth moved, saying words she didn’t know. She didn’t know why he bothered.

She shook her head, putting her face in her hands. She was so weak. She’d thought she’d been getting better. It hadn’t been this bad in a long time.

”Havash kuva, Novikke,” she heard him say.

He tried to come closer, and the wall was still at her back, and the idea of being trapped between his body and the building sent her into another spiral of panic. She shoved against his chest, holding him back. To her relief, he stopped and took a step back. One hand was still on her wrist, annoyingly refusing to let go, but his grip was light enough that it didn’t make her heart stutter and her vision blur with fear.

She stood there for a long time, eyes closed, listening to the distant sounds of the road and to her thumping heartbeat. Gradually she began unclenching muscles.

She became aware of Aruna speaking quietly. He was leaning against the wall beside her, not too close, saying things she couldn’t understand but could tell were reassurances. His fingers brushed slowly over her wrist. His hold on her was too light to be dangerous. It was more a caress than a restraint.

She opened her eyes, and she was still in the cavern, and immediately she felt the need to escape it. She needed to get out of Vondh Rav.

But she couldn’t. She had to help Aruna.

When she’d stopped shivering and the world had begun to come back into focus, she looked over at him. He stiffened as her gaze shifted toward him. The fear in his face was startling. She looked away again. She hated being seen like this.

He took her hand and pulled her from the alley, and though she was afraid to go out there again, she didn’t resist.

They walked down the road for some time, and then he pulled her into another building, into a large room full of tables and people she didn’t look at. He ushered her into a chair at a table in a dark corner, then fumbled for the notebook. Words appeared in front of her.

“Wait here.”

She looked up, jaw clenched. He was leaving her alone?

He didn’t wait for a response before he left. He left the notebook on the table with her. She watched him disappear out the front door of the building.

She didn’t dare look around the room. She curled her hands into fists on the table and kept very still, as if that would keep anyone from noticing her. Soft voices filled the room. The air was warm and close and smelled like herbal smoke and food. She could hear a few people laughing loudly in a way that indicated they’d probably had too much to drink.

When no one had accosted her after several minutes, she let her fists uncurl. The quiet buzz of the room and the seclusion of her corner let her come back to herself.

She raised her eyes to look up at the dark room, seeing it for the first time. There was a bar at one end, and a hearth at the other. There was a window in one wall, and she peered out of it but could see only dim shapes and motion outside. People sat in groups at tables near her, men and women alike, but she saw no other non-Varai. Nevertheless, no one seemed offended by her presence.

Of course they weren’t. He wouldn’t have left her there if it would put her in danger.

She shook her head. She was weak. Weak and foolish.

She pulled at the collar. It felt too tight, but when she pulled at it, there was enough space for her to fit several fingers under it. It could have been worse. She’d heard that people across the desert branded their slaves.

When she’d been sitting there long enough to work up her courage, she passed the time by watching the people around her. A man in a group near the bar looked in her direction once or twice, which made her uneasy, but no one else paid her any mind.

She was there long enough to see most of the other patrons leave, and more come to replace them. Finally, a grim-looking woman in an apron approached her.

“Iv zadur?” the woman asked, stopping in front of her table.

Novikke froze. Would they find it suspicious for a human in Vondh Rav not to speak Varai? Erring on the side of caution, she made a vague motion toward her ears and shook her head.

To her surprise, the woman set down the pitcher she’d been holding and responded with a series of complicated hand gestures. Novikke stared. The woman rolled her eyes and made some more gestures, more sharply.

It was a language made of hand signals, she realized. Did the deaf of Kuda Varai have their own language? Gods, she’d made things worse.

She raised a hand, having no idea what she meant to do with it, and was exceedingly grateful to be interrupted by Aruna’s arrival. He and the waitress spoke, then the woman nodded and left.

Aruna hovered by the table, looking down at Novikke appraisingly.

She leaned back in her chair, making no effort to assuage the uncertainty and guilt showing on his face.

She was angry at him. Mostly for the fact that he’d been there to bear witness to her Panic—he’d seen it before, but it felt so much more humiliating this time—but also for helping trigger it in the first place. He hadn’t warned her about any of this. He’d planned all of this, and he’d intentionally kept the less appealing parts of his plan to himself until it was too late for her to back out.

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