Page 36 of Because of Me

I blink up at him, unable to do much more than that as heat and pleasure erupt over my body. My legs shake, my thighs gripping my hand as my inner walls tremble against my fingers. Noah holds my head steady, pulling back until the tip of his cock rests on my tongue. His hot salty load spills into my mouth and he brings his thumb back to my lips to hold my mouth open.

“Fuck me, Cupcake. You look so damn good with my cum filling your mouth.”

Keeping my mouth open, I tip the corners of my mouth in something I hope resembles a smile. I rasp air in through my nose, savouring his taste on my tongue.

“You like it, being used?”

I nod, blinking up at him. Wanting more already.

“Good, now lick your fingers clean and swallow us down together.”

NOAH

Iwatch in awe as Amira draws her fingers out and brings them up to her mouth. I can’t breathe as she wraps her lips around them and hollows her cheeks to suck all her juices off. Her eyes twinkle as her fingers pop from her mouth. Then her lids fall shut as she hums and her throat bobs as she swallows.

My legs finally give out, and I fall to my knees, my hand still on Amira’s cheek. She looks at me, eyes darting between my own, with an expression I can’t read. Unease races through me almost as quickly as my desire did, until Amira reaches between us to wipe her thumb between my brows.

“You’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning,” she says with a soft laugh.

I grab her hand, moving to drop it over my shoulder. “Stop giving me things to frown about, then.”

“It’s hard to not do something when I don’t know what I’m doing. Why were you frowning?”

“Because I was right.” Stroking her cheekbone with my thumb, I dip my head to press my forehead against hers. “You’re not out of my system, Cupcake. And after that … I don’t think I ever want you to be.”

“Do you have places to be today?”

I shake my head even though I do.

I’m not technically ‘working’ today, but work is piling up, and I need to look over my proposal for the hotel before sending it all off to the architects. In some weird twist of the seven degrees of separation theory, Cassidy’s boyfriend’s ex-wife is now dating a guy with a building company. I found out at the housewarming, and he looked just as scared about the idea of running his father’s company as I felt about owning the winery. Whether I felt an immense amount of empathy or was just jumping at the chance to not have to research companies and make a decision, I’ve given him the chance to quote me on the big hotel build.

But first I need to figure out what I want. The old, converted barn house we use for events has a unique rustic charm, and the cellar door and restaurant building was first built decades ago to match it. I want the hotel to feel luxurious and modern, I just don’t know how to make it match the aesthetic people have grown to love the winery for.

But even with that looming over my head, I’d choose spending more time with Amira any day of the week.

“Amira, we … I …” I trial off, not knowing how to speak the words. I need her to know what this meant to me. I need to know if it meant the same to her or if I’m getting a thousand steps ahead of myself.

“I know,” she whispers, leaning into my hand. “I know.”

Tilting her head to the side, Amira closes the gap between us. Her mouth finds mine in a kiss that’s tentative at first. I hesitate, our lips pressed together but unmoving until I can’t help myself. Coaxing her mouth open with my tongue, I deepen the kiss. Amira falls into me, and I savour the way our combined taste lingers on her tongue.

Together, we get lost in the moment. Exploring, appreciating … and God I swear I’m in way too deep because it feels likeloving.The thought crashes through me like a bullet straight to the heart and I pull back, panting.

“What?” Amira frowns, and I mirror her movement from earlier, rubbing my thumb between her brows.

“Don’t do that.” I breathe the words out while blinking away the moisture that has crept its way to the corner of my eyes. “Amira, this is … everything. And I know why we are here but God … it’s not enough.”

“It is. For now at least, it is.”

I grab her hands in mine and hold them against my chest, wondering if she can feel the way my heart beats for her.

“Not for me.”

Closing her eyes, Amira’s chest rises with her inhale. She lets her breath out in a long shaky exhale. “Noah, it has to be.”

Before I can hold her close to me, she stands and moves towards the couch. She reties her robe around her waist before sitting down, curling her knees close to her chest and wrapping a grey throw blanket over her body. Fiddling with the tasselled corner, she doesn’t look over to me as she speaks.

“I want whatever this is, Noah. But I want it as it is. I want to pretend you’re my boyfriend in public and act like you are in private. I want to thoroughly enjoy you and us and what we can share. But I can’t handle anything more than that. Relationships are … not for me. There’s too much pressure and I crumble under the weight of labels. I just want what we have, without worrying about where it’s going.”

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