Page 55 of Because of Me

Cassidy sits opposite me, glancing between me and her boyfriend. Her eyes are narrow as she leans back in the chair and crosses her arms. “We were down this way for pasta and we … got distracted so came past Callum’s old apartment.”

“Nup.” I lean my head so my shoulder blocks one ear and stick a finger in the other. “I don’t want to know what that means. Please never elaborate.”

Joining us at the table, Callum moves a chair to sit as close to Cassidy as possible. The legs scrape along the floor but even the high-pitched screech can’t stop him from gazing at Cassidy like she is the brightest star in the sky.

I’m happy for my cousin, truly, but the last thing I need right now is such an open display of affection. I want to tell them my wrist is fine and send them back across the hall. And then I’m going to play the loudest club anthem playlist I can find just to make sure I don’t hear any of their ‘distractions’.

“We heard your moaning and thought someone had broken in,” Callum says.

I shake my head, but before I can graciously wave them away, Cassidy clears her throat. “Why are you here?”

“I …” I hesitate, because Cassidy is Amira’s best friend. Doesn’t she know? Didn’t Amira tell her? When the line between Cassidy’s brows grows thick, I suck in a deep breath. “I live here.”

“I thought …” Her voice is low and gravelly, but sharp like a punch until she cuts herself off by slapping her hand over her mouth.

Callum smirks. “For how long?”

“Almost two months.” It feels longer, and somehow it also feels like it’s only been a few days. Living here has become so natural I can’t imagine going back to my giant old house that has never felt like home.

“That’s not … never mind … why were you sitting in the dark?”

Shifting in his seat, Callum places a hand on her leg and it makes me want to gag. “I think you know why, Rogue.”

“Why?” I look between them, wondering if they know something I don’t.

“Have you spoken to Amira today?” I can practically see everything ticking over behind Cassidy’s eyes.

Standing, she flicks the switch so we are no longer sitting in Santa’s barely there glow. Now she can see me properly, I shake my head, dropping my gaze to the table.

“Oh,” she says as she sits back down. Her voice drops down an octave and she reaches across the table to press her hand against my arm. “Fuck that’s cold,” she yelps, pulling her hand away when it brushes against the bag of defrosting peas.

“It’s helping though.” Wincing, I flip it over, repositioning it on the section of my wrist that feels the most swollen.

“The bag, or not talking to Amira?”

Although she jests, there’s an undercurrent of care in Cassidy’s tone. One that reminds me just how fortunate I am to be as close to her as I am.

“I’m assuming she spoke to you though?”

Cassidy drops her head, shaking it slightly as she begins to play with the ring on her thumb. “I only found out today. Our shifts never line up because when one of us isn’t at the boutique the other one has to be. And now we don’t live together it’s … well it’s been really shit. I feel like a terrible friend for not knowing.” She squeezes her eyes shut as a small hiccup cuts her off. “And a terrible cousin.”

“Hey, I could have told you too. It just kind of happened. She asked for my help and what could I say but yes? So, I moved in.”

“Of course you moved in.”

Callum reels back. “What do you mean of course he moved in?”

“Noah’s been in love with Amira for years.”

“I’m not in—” I don’t finish the sentence, not when I know it’s a lie. Maybe I’d never quite put as many words on it, but there’s no denying I’m in love with Amira. It was the sole reason I’ve been so pliant every time she asks me for help. Every time the little tale grew bigger, I twisted myself around a little tighter. Hoping something real might come from it all.

And it nearly did. “Even if I had a selfish motive for going to the weddings and meeting her family and moving into this tiny apartment. It doesn’t matter. She made it clear what she wanted, and I shouldn’t have let myself get my hopes up.”

“Did she tell you what she wants?” Cassidy asks. Beside her, Callum fidgets in the chair.

“Yeah.” I clear my throat, trying to force the word out through the pain. “She said it was all fake. Just a show for her family. She said all the rest didn’t matter because we wouldn’t be here without that lie as our starting point.”

Callum holds his hands in front of his face, palms out. “Do we want to know what the rest is?”

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