Page 80 of Because of Her

I turn my head towards the wind rushing through the open window. The air is fresh, but damp. Clouds have rolled overhead, hiding the sun. Rain is coming, and I’m glad I enjoyed the sun while it lasted.

“But seriously, Cassidy. Talk to Callum. I’ve never seen you like this. Even when you and Blake broke up, it didn’t crush your soul enough for you to flirt with a guy ten years younger than you are.”

Noah’s right. Everything he says makes more and more sense as I continue to sober.

I should talk to Callum about what I want. But I’m also hesitant to open up. My heart is too fragile to be broken. I don’t want to risk opening myself up to hope. I can’t risk it.

A lone tear escapes and trickles down my cheek, until the wind catches it. The salty drop is flicked into my nostril and I snort when I accidentally inhale it.

My mood sours because although it was just the wind, it feels like I can’t even cry right.

I sigh as Noah pulls into the parking garage under my apartment building.

“Why is love so hard?”

Reaching across the centre console, Noah pulls me into an awkward, back patting hug.

“It’s not love that’s hard. It’s accepting what you can’t control. Love is what happens when you open your heart to the unexpected.”

That’s exactly what I have to do. There are a lot of things I can’t control. I can’t control my infertility. I can’t control the choices I made in the past or the fact Callum has a daughter. I can’t control Madison being pregnant. But I can accept all of those things.

I just hope it’s not too late.

CALLUM

“Daddy?” Maisie questions, as the movie credits start to roll.

I shift to face her when I answer, “yeah, chicka?”

“When will you start having sleepovers?”

Her question rattles me. We spoke about her having sleepovers here when I first moved in, but she stays here every second week now. She doesn’t have sleepovers anymore, she lives here. I can feel the crease forming between my brows.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, last week, Mummy’s friend, Michael, had a sleepover after dinner. And you never have friends stay over.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a long, slow breath before I formulate a response. Fire broils in my chest and my heart races. I pull Maisie onto my lap, tensing the muscles in my feet in a pathetic attempt to release some of the anger racing through me. I can’t let Maisie see it.

“I thought maybe we could ask Cassidy for a sleepover, and she could teach me more dancing like she promised.” Maisie’s voice is a faint whisper, slow and rasping as she drifts into sleep. “But she lives so close she could go back to her bed at bedtime.” She yawns the final words while they slice open my already bleeding heart. I don’t tell her I’m not sure if we will see Cassidy again. I don’t tell her Cassidy broke my heart.

Instead, I carry Maisie to bed, tucking her in and turning on the nightlight before creeping back to the living room.

After pacing three laps around the tiny shoebox, I creepback to Maisie’s room and pull the door shut. I’ve felt so many emotions in the space of about an hour, and the storm they are brewing is making me dizzy. As I continue to pace, I try to process what Maisie told me, to read between the lines of what she did and didn’t say.

Audrey has been having “sleepovers” with her friend “Michael”.

So Audrey is in a relationship.

And Maisie seems … okay with it.

Acid burns through me. I can’t believe Audrey would introduce someone to Maisie without keeping me in the loop. Would invite that man to spend the night while our daughter was sleeping down the hall. I had a right to know before all this happened.

As Maisie’s father, my whole job is to keep her safe. Protected from things, and people, who have the potential to cause her harm. And although I trust Audrey’s judgement in a person, it still angers me I didn’t have a say in the matter.

I charge across the room, heading for my phone.

“You’ve been havingsleepovers?!”

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