Page 55 of Because of Her

One taste of Cassidy will never be enough. I’m hopefulthis could be the moment to change the course of our relationship, but hesitant because there is still so much that needs to be said between us.

She arches her back into me, her arm reaching up to cup the side of my face. I kiss her jawline, sucking on her pulse point.

A loud buzzing sounds from the living room, followed by the shrill sounds of my alarm.

Cassidy groans, pulling her hand back to cover her ears.

“Why do you have an alarm set on a Sunday?” she wails.

“Maisie,” I offer in explanation, knowing it’s not enough, but climbing out of the bed to switch my alarm off.

Knowing what this moment will mean for Cassidy, I hate that I agreed to pick up Maisie this morning. I could have got her after lunch, or before dinner, or any other time that wouldn’t act like a giant red flag in Cassidy’s eyes.

When I finally find my phone hidden between the cushions of the couch, I curse myself and silence the scattered tune. Carrying it back to the bedroom to drop it on the charger, I find Cassidy standing, searching the floor.

“My clothes?” she asks when she hears me enter.

I try to tell her she doesn’t need to rush out, but a small part of me understands.

“You don’t have to go.”

“I do.”

“Rogue—”

She still wears my shirt, but her clothes and shoes are bundled in her arms as she reaches to pick up her bag from beside the door.

“I do,” she repeats, “because—”

“Because of her,” I finish for her. “I get it.”

I don’t get it, at least not completely. When the door closes behind her, I sink back into the couch and crouch my body forward so my head falls betweenmy knees.

I’m fucked. I’m so fucked.

Because I want Cassidy more than anything, but I need Maisie more. And I never want to have to choose between the two. But if she makes me, I’ll choose my daughter. A million times. No matter how hard my heart breaks.

CASSIDY

Maisie’s laughter stretches from her dad’s apartment, infiltrating mine with its high pitched giggle. It’s infuriating, the constant reminder of why I ran back across the hall Sunday morning.

Saturday evening, after Noah ceremoniously left Callum and I in the hall, still feels a bit like an out of body experience. And I’m certain at some stage, I had the most mind blowing orgasm of my entire life.

I’ve never done anything that felt so brave, yet equally so messy.

I can’t say I regret it, because I don’t. Just thinking about it has my insides somersaulting and my thighs clenching.

But it can’t happen again. Things get complicated when friends cross the platonic line. With everything between us, Callum and I are too far apart.

It was the worst and best decision of my life.

Thanks to my liquid courage, we’d spent the evening in blissful ignorance, but the alarm that rang out on Callum’s phone in the morning was a stark reminder of how complicated our whole situation is. In the same way Maisie’s current merriment is a blaring horn, ensuring I don’t forget.

I should be at the shop, but by three, I’d had a grand total of one customer, and decided to call it a day. My shoulders are tight as I sit over my laptop at the dining table. Everything that could help us with the opening of the coffee cart either costs more money, or takes too long. Business courses, social media marketers, barista training.

Stretching out my neck, I fire off a direct message to Blondie B. In the two weeks since she filmed her videos, she’s shared one every other day. Just like she promised, she tags my Betty Blooms socials in every post and talks nothing but praises about the boutique. It’s given our social media pages the boost I was hoping for, but so far, I haven’t seen an increase in foot traffic like I’d hoped. After how she craved coffee when the shoot was over, maybe she’ll help promote the opening of the coffee cart. If she could come down and rave about how good our coffee is, it might give us the boost we need for this whole idea to work.

The message wooshes away and I slam my laptop shut. The sound cracks through my spine, sending a shiver through my neck.

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