Page 13 of Because of Her

With the party mostly calmed down, the few stragglers left are all family or close friends. The jumping castle company has been and gone to collect the blow-up castle and slide, so the kids run laps of the yard. Fits of laughter and squeals fill the air. I have to get Maisie back to her mum by dinner, but figure after all the sweets, cake and juice, another half an hour burning off energy won’t hurt.

“Here.” My sister passes a cold beer over my shoulder and sits on the lounger next to me. It’s already open, and I take a long sip, appreciating the cool frothy bubbles.

“How are you?” Isobel asks. Before I can answer, she adds, “Like, don’t just say ‘yeah good’, I meanreallyhow are you?”

I take another sip of beer to fill the gap as I consider her loaded question.

“I’m okay, really,” I answer. “It’s been hard, but today was good. I needed today, with Maisie.”

“I can’t imagine not being with the kids every day.” Isobel leans back in her chair, pressing her thumbs against her temples. As if her ears were burning, my niece comes running over and climbs onto her mother’s lap. At only two years old, she looks worn out after the party, yawning as she snuggles into Isobel’s shoulder.

“Bedtime soon, I think,” Isobel whispers down.

Nothing makes me prouder as a little brother, than seeing my sister with her kids, and her husband. She has the kind of family I dreamed of. The kind I once thought I would have with Audrey.

More than that, though, my sister excels at being a mum. Isobel’s hand caresses her daughter’s long hair, getting caughtin the knots I can only assume have come from all the running and jumping.

“I know you said you didn’t want to go to court, but you know he’d fight for you, right?”

She jerks her head, and I follow her line of sight to where her husband is packing up the last of the party decorations. My brother-in-law is a family court lawyer, something I never imagined would come in handy until Audrey and I were finalising the divorce. Although I’ve been adamant I didn’t want to go to court, it’s soothing knowing I’ve still got his support if I need it.

For now, I’m giving Audrey a few weeks to adjust. The whole situation is complicated, and she is only doing what she thinks is right for Maisie. And although I miss my daughter terribly, Audrey’s decision comes from a place of love and care. I don’t want to make my move messier than it needs to be. Not yet.

“I know,” I respond after a pause. “But I hope he won’t need to. I’m giving her a little bit of time.”

A few weeks. That’s all. Then I’ll fight. If I have to.

I watch as my brother-in-law hauls a garbage bag around the backyard, rounding up the kids. Isobel closes her eyes, enjoying the moment of peace as her daughter falls asleep in her arms.

Isobel turns to me after her husband has taken their daughter inside. “Aside from, you know,” she waves her arm around, “everything. What’s been going on?”

The change of topic is welcome. It seems all anyone ever talks to me about is the separation, the pending divorce, or how hard it must be on Maisie. Although it makes sense they are offering me a chance to talk things out, it gets draining, hashing out the same conversation countless times.

“Good, I guess. Work is work. They have been prettyflexible with me when I need it and I’ve finally set a work from home space up again which is easier.”

“And what about the new place? Have you met the neighbours?”

I choke on my drink. Because yes, I’ve met the neighbours, and I haven’t stopped thinking about one of them since.

Isobel gives me a side eye. “Do tell.”

“Do you remember Cassidy?”

She jolts up from her laid-back position, feet kicking the half full bottle I’d placed on the ground. The bottle tinkles as it rolls away, but Isobel doesn’t take her eyes off me. “From the supermarket? The Cassidy you were in love with for years?”

I nod.

“Well, what about her?”

“She lives across the hall.”

Gaining composure, Isobel takes a sip of her drink. “Okay, and?”

“And I don’t know,” I answer, because I don’t. I don’t know if I’m rebounding onto an old crush because it’s convenient. I don’t know if she even feels the same. I don’t know what any of the swirling, conflicting emotions mean, but I do know I shouldn’t be ready for anything like that right now.

At the very least, I want to get back to the level of friendship Cassidy and I used to have. If I could hold back my lust as a teenager, then surely I can hold it back as an adult. At least until I have a better grip on my life.

I explain it all to Isobel, hoping she has some magic words of wisdom to share. Leaning forward again, she places a hand on my knee.

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