Page 74 of Unraveling with You

My heart flinches like she left a searing scratch over it. “W-what? How could you say that? She’s trapped, she can’t walk–”

“Lily, for God’s sake, you’re not okay. It’s like those plane safety rules - put on your own damn oxygen mask first. How can you save Mom when you need saving, yourself?” She raises her voice, but her quivering tells me she’s crying alongside me. “You didn’t abandon me; you abandoned yourself.”

Annabella single-handedly strips the air from my lungs. I gape on the bench, my heartbeat hammering. This is just like what I discovered about little Remington - why his adult self loves playing the hero. And why I love taking my power back by letting him borrow all of it.

But I can’t give up on Mom.

Annabella’s anger fades by the second, her voice wavering through gut-wrenching pain. “I couldn’t save you either, Lils. I tried so hard, but here I am, having to hear that man probably hurt my baby sister again? How do you think I feel?”

Tears spill before I can register them. I swipe them away, only for three more to gush out. I laugh through my stuffy nose. “A lot like I do, I guess. So pretty shitty.”

She huffs in annoyance. Then she laughs. I break into weepy giggles with her until we’re both laughing, only separated by Annabella’s groans.

“You drive me crazy. But not like Dad. I love you, baby Beth. Thanks for apologizing, but don’t worry so much about me, okay? I just want you to be happy. To feel safe.”

She sounds just like Mom.

“But I miss you.” My lip wobbles as horrendous, longing tears wrack my gut.

Annabella sniffles through the silence with me. I can hear the pain in her shuddering breath, forcing me to shut my eyes hard to swallow it down.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I really hurt you too,” she whispers.

I don’t know what to say. She did, and I didn’t realize how badly it stung until now.

Her clothes shuffle against the microphone, painting a clear picture of her squaring her shoulders, as always. She hardens her voice to feign confidence, no matter how deeply she’s hurting. “Okay, Lilibeth, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to keep talking this through with you, okay? We’ll figure this out together once we’re in a better headspace. In the meantime, just get out of his immediate reach. Please.”

I huff, swiping thick tears from my eyes. “I will. I decided it was finally time, and I have a really sweet boyfriend who will protect me, but still– I’m scared.”

“I know. I still am too.”

My heart drops as her true feelings click into place; Annabella wasn’t pulling away from me. If she breaks her vow to cut contact with Mom and Dad, it will break the power behind her “no.”

Yet she still picked up the phone for me. I’m not her dragon.

After I annoy her with three more I love yous, I promise to tell her what happened between Dad and me to make me call - since I can’t get away with hiding anything from my older sister - and I hang up with a tumultuous heart.

My head spins. I know what I have to do, but can I? I might have slain multiple dragons today, but I’ve left the biggest one for last, and I’m terrified that I’m not strong enough to face him alone.

I need to see my knight.

By the time the next bus can take me close to home, Remington will be twenty minutes into his shift at Club X. I switch bus lines, opting to find him there instead. Maybe I’ll be interrupting and distracting him from his job, but this feels like an “alligator” moment, and I don’t want to trudge through it with anyone except Remington.

But just like Remington waited until he felt safe enough to share details about his uncle, I haven’t shared all the details about Mom’s health with Remington. He knows she placates Dad and that I want to pay their rent to keep Mom alive while she’s trapped, but he doesn’t realize the additional gravity of it. I’ve been so afraid that if I tell him she can’t even walk, he’ll reiterate the fears I’ve had to face my whole life: as long as Dad is alive to reign over Mom’s life, she’s trapped forever.

But I can’t agree with Annabella that Mom doesn’t want my help. I saw how quiet Mom became the last time I was there - when I said I might be able to lift her now. Maybe she’s ready to leave. If I ask her directly for the first time, telling her the truth about what Dad does to me and that I’m scared he’s hurting her too, maybe we can be done withhimforever, instead. Annabella doesn’t know I’ve worked hard with Remington to craft my own oxygen mask.

Adjusting to the club's darkness, my chest clenches tighter by the second; I can’t find Remington in the halls. He’s in the dungeon.

Without thinking, I make a beeline for it. But I stop at the door. I’ve never entered those doors without Remington allowing me to watch. Is this a private party today, or have they not started yet? Just as my hand lands on the door to take a peek, a gloved hand appears above mine.

I snap my hand back with a gasp, smashing my back into the hallway wall.

Miss X’s eyebrows raise beneath her mask. “Oh, sweetheart, are you okay?”

With her soft touch on my shoulder, my last semblance of composure snaps. I erupt into tears, grasping her hand. “Where’s Remi?”

“Take a deep breath for me, okay? I’d say I’d fetch him for you, but Remi’s a good boy - he’s already spotted you through the doors, and he’s rushing over like his life depends on it.” Miss X smiles, staring through the window. “Maybe it does. Clearly, you’re his heart.”

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