Page 27 of Pucking Grey

She smirks at me, biting her pen. “You have Greyson Cress cooties on your hand right now?”

I pull my hand playfully away, hiding it for myself only. “Yeah, and I haven’t washed it off yet.”

Her smile is big as she leans forward. “Oh my god, you actually like him.”

I’m jokingly rubbing my hand now, just staring at it like his touch was golden.

She gently pushes me to get my attention.

“I don’t like him,” I correct her.

“You can’t like him, Maddie. He doesn’t deserve you. He’ll hurt you.”

I suck air in through my teeth, not wanting to hear about his ways. “No worries there.” I stand.

“Are you sure?” she questions. “Because I will hunt him down and tell him to stop throwing lures.”

I wave her off. “This,” I hold my hand up. “Doesn’t mean anything, Syd. I still need him to repel Matt.”

“Okay,” she elongates as I walk up the stairs.

When I’m in my room, I flop onto my bed. My legs are done for. What the hell was I thinking? I need to drink water. I pull out my flask and chug it, hoping it’ll help tomorrow’s pain.

I log Greyson’s number into my phone, wondering if I should text him. I don’t know what I would say, or if he even likes to text. I don’t want to be left on read. Now I’m staring at his number like a fool. I gather my things for a shower, keeping my phone on the charger. I will not text him but I will save his number for a rainy day.

When Wednesday comes, I realize I haven’t told Ryan that Matt and I are not together anymore. I’m not worried about what Ryan will say, but I am worried that my dad will not be happy about it. He really liked Matt and believed in his ability as a hockey player. And that’s a lot coming from my dad. I impressed him with my boyfriend. I felt like Matt checked off all my boxes.

I meet Ryan in the parking lot. I smash him with a hug, so glad to have my big brother here. I have two more brothers. One is a year younger than me and attending another college. He didn’t get accepted where Ryan and I did. And my oldest brother is also in the NHL.

“Gone Mads,” Ryan says, hugging me back. “I’m excited to watch the game. How’s Matt?”

I cringe, pulling back.

Ryan reads my face. “What is it?”

“We broke up,” I shake my head, unable to look at him.

“What? I’m here to cheer him on.” He goes into his truck and pulls out an unfinished poster.

“I meant to tell you, but I forgot. It’s been a mess, and…” I’m crying. Ryan pulls me into a hug and says, “It’s okay, Maddie. Did you want to break up with him?”

I pull back. “No,” I admit. “But I’m done with him. Totally done.”

“What do you mean?” he asks, confused.

“He cheated on me with Michelle Swift.” When I say that out loud, I hear how horrible it sounds. Especially when Matt made it clear he didn’t cheat on me. “Or at least I thought he did. It ended up being a girl he hooked up with before we started dating. It’s complicated, but I can’t be with him, Ryan. I just can’t.”

Ryan nods. “Okay. That’s okay. I understand. You are not with Matt. Whether he cheated on you or not, in the end, if you don’t want to be with him, that’s a good enough reason.”

I throw my hands over his shoulder, needing a comforting hug. “Thank you.” I release him and laugh because I just really needed a hug from my big brother. I already feel so much better.

“We can still watch the game and make fun of the guys,” I offer.

Ryan puts the poster materials back into his truck and nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

The smell of the rink is always my favorite. It brings back so many memories, old and new, and I’m reminded of how much I miss the ice.

Ryan and I find a place in the stands. Sydney meets up with us shortly after. When the game starts, Ryan is invested in every single movement of both teams. He makes the funniest remarks.

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