Page 16 of Roses in Summer

“Sera, what are you saying?”

“Lincoln, I have to tell you something.” She softens her voice, making the whispered words barely audible.

I stay quiet, allowing her to work through whatever narrative she has in her head. I have to check my phone to make sure we’re still connected.

Clearing her throat, an ominous feeling takes over. Before she begins speaking, I know that this is the end of whatever the fuck this is. “Mitch asked me to try again.”

“Is this what you want?” I don’t believe for a fucking second that this is what she wants. Not after everything she’s told me about him, and not after the way he’s continuously treated her. “If you’re in trouble, you can let me know. I can help you.”

“Help me?” Her laugh is watery like she’s choking back tears. “Lincoln, we’ve met in person once. What exactly did we think would happen? I’m in high school, and you’re going to be a big-shot chef in less than two years. I’m moving to Pennsylvania in August. This just doesn’t make sense. I need to be realistic about things. And this, this isn’t realistic.”

Her voice has steel, a determination that shouldn’t be admirable. But like a sap, everything about Seraphina enthralls me.

“So, you go back to that asshole and what? Live his dreams instead of yours? I know guys like him, ciern. They’re not good. He’s going to suck you dry until there’s nothing left of you to feast on. No soul left in your body. Is that what you want? To be a fucking shell of yourself at eighteen years old?”

“Lincoln, you don’t understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t. This is fucking dumb, Sera. I’m not asking you to be with me if you don’t want it. But that guy? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Lincoln,” she whispers, her voice so light I have to strain myself to hear her. “I don’t want to be your friend. But I also have no desire to be the high school girl following a man around like an idiot.”

“Sera—” I start, just to be cut off by a bell ringing in the background.

“Shit, I need to get to my next period. I’ll talk to you later.”

She ends the call, and I stare at my phone in confusion.

I press on her contact information and dial her back, and the call immediately goes to voicemail.

Pulling up our text thread, I type out a message.

Lincoln: Seraphina, call me when you get home

The message shows as delivered, but there’s a feeling in my gut, one that tells me that whatever plans we were making and the future that we may have had are done.

Pierdolic.

What the fuck just happened?

7

Seraphina

Six months later

For six months, I’ve been playing girlfriend in public and secretly dying on the inside. I put on a façade, pretending I’m okay with everyone else while keeping myself distant. I have no friends anymore, no confidants. My sisters were disgusted with my apparent decision to give Mitch another chance, and my brother, Rafe, was equally as confused.

They sat me down, confronted me, and asked me if I needed to speak to someone about my mental state. I pretended I was okay and presented the calm, quiet Sera that they’re so used to when what I really feel like doing is screaming and tearing something apart.

And that’s how I got here, lying against my pillows while my sister attempts to talk me into going to a backyard barbecue at her boyfriend’s house in honor of our brother and his decision to enlist in the Marines.

“Aves, it’s not that I don’t want to come. It’s that I don’t think I should come.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I survived a knife attack, Celeste went through hell, and Serena basically kicked her father’s ass single-handedly, with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.”

“Ava, no, I didn’t. I don’t even smoke cigarettes,” Serena’s voice sounds out in the background.

“That’s beside the point. Ser, Rafe leaves in a few months for basic training. This may be the last time that all of us will be able to get together before he leaves.”

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