Page 43 of Lilies in Autumn

This weekend can’t come fast enough.

Ava

When I was younger, I always imagined that my birthday would be greeted with confetti, my grandmother’s icebox cake, and video montages of me on social media from my many, many friends. At nineteen, I’ve realized that I hate confetti, dairy makes my skin break out, and I have two friends outside of my family. Well, three friends if I count Greyson as a friend, though I’m not sure he would be pleased with that designation.

As a preteen, I would get so upset that I didn’t have a larger circle of friends, or that I wasn’t part of the popular group like my younger siblings. Now, however, I’m relieved I don’t need to field endless messages from people that pretend to give a shit about me.

Speaking of messages, my sisters will kill me if I don’t return their FaceTime call. I’ve been a shitty communicator lately, mainly because I’m terrified that every time my phone goes off there will be another message from the asshole that decided to violate my privacy. Thankfully, there hasn’t been a single text since the first day of classes. I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve avoided Grey or because they’ve lost interest in my life.

I bite my lip at the thought of Grey. When he answered my FaceTime last night, he was shirtless and in the middle of his workout. My jaw was damn near unhinged at the sight of his endless rows of defined abs and a chest that had the perfect amount of hair. I never thought I’d be into chest hair, but something about seeing Grey glistening from his workout, with sweat gleaming off his tattooed arm and chest, made me salivate. Even Grey’s knowing, cocky smirk didn’t stop my ogling.

Without knowing it, Grey gave me one hell of a birthday present. In the dark, under the covers and away from the risk of cameras and judgment, I touched myself to thoughts of Grey’s delicious body, the tattoos decorating his pale skin, and the memory of his lips. Though no orgasm can compare to the two he’s given me, I imagined that it was his fingers inside me and rubbing against my clit. When I came, it was his name on my lips and his face in my head. Even now, sitting here in broad daylight with my dorm’s door wide open, I’m getting hot remembering how freaking good he looked.

I’d never tell him, because the cocky asshole would never let me live it down, but he’s ruined every other sexual fantasy I have ever had. Probably all future fantasies, too, if I’m being honest. A twenty-one-year-old guy should not have as much sex appeal as he does, yet he defies the odds. Despite the picture taken without our consent, I don’t regret giving Greyson my body and letting him command and contort it to his will. Now, three weeks later, I can admit that there was something so hot about hooking up in public, the threat of discovery only made the orgasm that much more explosive. Grey’s hinted more than once that he’s done with the unknown number’s bullshit, especially since it’s been radio silence for over three weeks.

Maybe it’s my paranoia, or maybe I fear that once Grey has me at his mercy again, he’ll quickly lose interest, but I’m hesitant to see him in person. I couldn’t resist him when I barely knew him, but now that I know his innermost wants, fears, and trauma, I am a fucking goner. I’m trying to push our next in-person encounter as far out as possible because I know I will act like a dog in heat as soon as I see him. There is a one hundred percent chance that I will physically maul him the next time we’re together, and I am terrified of what that means.

He doesn’t realize how far gone I am, and that’s the whole reason I didn’t mention my birthday or how badly I want him. If he knew, he wouldn’t take my resistance seriously and would march his perfect Viking ass to my dorm room immediately.

Lost in my thoughts, I nearly miss my vibrating phone laying on my desk. Picking it up, I see Sera’s name flash across the screen, alerting me to a FaceTime call. Propping the pillows up behind me on the bed, I accept the call.

“About time, you jerk.” Sera’s beautiful face fills the screen, a scowl marring her delicate features. “I’ve been calling you for like three days and you keep sending ‘I’m busy’ text messages. I am not happy, Ava Maria. Not happy at all.”

I laugh at her, unable to take her seriously. “I’m sorry, Sera, but I have been busy. College isn’t like high school; I have classes throughout the day and my breaks are filled with studying and homework. I promise I’m not ignoring you intentionally.” I never thought I’d be able to lie to my sister so easily, but here we are, avoiding all conversations of Grey, the anonymous text messages, and the shit show that is my life.

“Fine,” she huffs, blowing her bangs off her face. “Happy birthday, Aves. I’m excited to see you this weekend. Where are we going again?”

“The soccer house. There’s no theme or anything.”

“Theme?”

I grimace. “Yeah, for some reason, all the Greek parties have a theme. Last week, C and I went to an anything but clothes party, or ABC, and had to leave the dorm in artfully draped curtains and hot glued leaves.”

Sera’s jaw drops. “What? Why would you do that? What were you even trying to be?”

“Well…” I begin, pursing my lips in memory of the cheap, scratchy fabric against my skin. “We were trying to be Lilith and Eve after being cast out of Paradise, but all of our leaves fell off on the walk to the pregame house, so we just looked like we were wearing cheap curtains.” Weirdly enough, both CeCe and I received a lot of male attention, and I even had a few guys ask for my number. The entire time, my phone was burning a hole in my bag, the incoming texts from Greyson taunting me. I didn’t tell him we were there, but he saw my Instagram stories of me and CeCe in our outfits and wouldn’t leave me alone until he knew I was back in my dorm, safe and tucked in.

I wish I could have been into the two Sigma Kappas that showed interest in me, but neither of them was a Viking god. Grey has ruined everything.

“Ava, that is the most bizarre thing I have ever heard.” She pauses, tilting her head in consideration. Lowering her voice, she whispers, “Don’t you dare tell Bianca. You know she’s part exhibitionist and will hitchhike to you if she finds out about parties like that.” I cringe. Bianca is insane enough that she would do that.

“How pissed is she that Mom and Dad aren’t letting her stay for the weekend?”

“She put together a PowerPoint explaining why she should be allowed to stay up there. So, there’s that.”

“Insanity. I’m so excited you and Rafe are staying up here though.”

“Yeah, so about Rafe,” Sera says hesitantly. “He’s coming to dinner but he, uh, isn’t staying. But, before you freak out, he has a good reason. He met a girl from Crescent Hills and they have a date on Sunday, so he wants to be home to prepare.” She shakes her head, as though that explains everything. When I’m not being a self-centered jerk, I’ll be able to admit that it does. Rafe is a planner and hates feeling unprepared. After his shit show of a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, I know that his need to prepare is driven by fear and uncertainty. But, since I’m being a self-centered bitch and he’s not coming out for our birthdays, I’m not going to be understanding. At least, not initially.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve been looking forward to having both of you up here for so long.”

“I know, I know. To our credit, if you would have answered your damn phone two days ago, we could have talked this out. You have to accept some of the blame, big sister. And, anyway, I’m bringing Hyacinth up with me.”

I suppress a shudder. My sister’s best friend, Hyacinth Montgomery, is the youngest of four sisters and they all have floral names: Rose, Lilac, and Juniper being her elder sisters. I went to school with Juniper, and let’s just say, she’s a raging monster and hates the ground I walk on. Hyacinth isn’t much better, she may even be worse, but for some reason, Sera keeps her close.

“Oh, how… lovely?” I supply.

Sera rolls her eyes. “Don’t be a brat. It’s my birthday, too. Cin is harmless, she’s just a little high-strung and misunderstood.”

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