Page 62 of Another Constant

“A baby isn’t shit that should just happen. How do you know you're gonna like me long enough to be my child’s father? Shoot, how do I know I’ma li?—”

“Fuck outta here. I ain’t going nowhere and neither are you.” He gave me that look, the one that said his word was law.

“And how do you know that?” I tilted my head to the side, waiting for the answer.

“Because I’m a killer, Harlem. You ever try to leave me alone, I’ma turn your ass into a professional speed dater. Every time you think you getting close to somebody, he’d wind up missing or miraculously dead. They're gonna think your ass is a serial killer with no proof.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. He was so serious that I should have been scared but I wasn’t. I was definitely feeling the me or nobody else vibe, though nutty as hell, it was sexy.

“You're laughing but I’m dead ass serious.”

“I know, and believe it or not, that’s what makes this funny.”

“I’m glad you're laughing. Now you ’bout to tell me how you're dodging my junior or what?” He sat back in his chair, peeling the fresh orange the waitress sat at our table. I think it was meant for fresh orange juice with the mimosa flight I had ordered but of course my man wanted to peel it. To make matters worse, I couldn’t help but watch him peel it, wishing I was that orange.Palmed in his hands and close to his mouth.

“I’m not dodging your junior. It’s probably God, because I’m not on anything, and I haven’t bought a Plan B. He knows we don’t need a child. We’re figuring out our lives together right now.”

“Nah, we not. It’s figured ou—wait. What you saying is you could be carrying my baby right now but you got your ass in here ordering mimosa flights?”

I laughed. “Since when do you want a baby, Kinga?”

“Since I realized you’re a light in my life and I gotta keep you being just that.”

“Getting me pregnant won’t guarantee that, it’ll guarantee you a conversation with my mother that I don’t think will be pleasant.”

“Nah, baby, your mama loves me.”

“She doesn't even know you. She met you through my phone, sir.” I laughed at that part because it was true. They met over FaceTime. I was in the washroom and she was calling to do her weekly check-in. The man not only answered my phone but also introduced himself to her. Imagine my surprise when I walked in and he was holding up my pink ass phone, smiling and laughing.

“Exactly, and when you get off that grumpy shit, we’re gonna go out to her house and have dinner. Fuck around and be telling her you carrying my baby while we at it.”

“Kinga.”

“Is there a possibility?” His eyes were locked on me like I was holding national security secrets.

“If you haven’t wrapped up and I haven’t taken anything, there is always a possibility. As reckless as it is.” I sighed at the thought. I didn’t need a baby and neither did he.

“Yeah.”

“If you are, would you keep it?”

I tucked my lips and nodded. That question was easily answered. I had no reason not to. If I was pregnant by him, I’d keep the baby. I didn’t know why I was so secure in that, but I was. I’d keep this lunatic’s baby, shit, even if I had a choice.

His eyes gleamed, going from my face to my midsection partially hidden by the table. “Good.”

“Good, meaning?” I asked, eyes feasting on him. Something about that damn bun always had me stuck on stupid staring at him.

“Means it was some shit meant to happen. If we made a baby, it was meant between me and you.”

His words were coated in something I couldn’t put my finger on, a sense of need I didn’t think had even registered to him. Understanding his background with his mother and father made it a no brainer as to why the need was so strong. He needed and wanted to be a better father than his father was. He needed to give something good to this world, especially since he felt like he had contributed so much bad. He didn’t broadcast it but I knew he struggled between light and darkness a lot.

“You want our baby, right?” His voice shattered my thoughts, making me blink a few times.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I?”

“You quiet.”

“It’s a lot to process, but if there is a baby, yes… I want him or her.”

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