Page 51 of Another Constant

“Memphis? The fu?—”

“Nothing conversation worthy. You wanna talk to your daughter? You know she's been asking me about y’all.”

“Damn I miss my baby. So much that it hurts my soul sometimes but I know if I ain’t the best version of myself then I can’t be around her. I can’t give her what she needs.”

I was glad he couldn’t see my face because that right there was a crock of shit. Maybe it made sense in his head, but in mine that shit was flaw… almost like our dog ass mama who ran off too. Now sure she didn’t kill our father, but she too needed time to herself and left her kids with her sibling. “I ain’t tryna tell you how to parent but at the end of the day shit happens and kids are resilient. I know you feel like you can’t face her, but don’t lose sight of the fact that this is your flesh. She’s gonna love you regardless.” After taking a much needed piss, I listened to him go on and on while I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I was grateful when he settled on his last question.

“Do you think? After everything?”

“Yup. After everything. Now, do you wanna talk to her?” I finished taking care of myself then moved back to my bedroom to put on a shirt and sweats.

“Yeah. Where is she at anyway?”

“Probably in there fucking with Harlem.” I shrugged.

“Who is Harlem?”

“My girl. She spent the day with her because apparently I passed the fuck out,” I explained walking out of my bedroom.

“So you got a girlfriend? Somebody you actuall?—”

“Get off that.”

When I entered the living room area, my eyes landed on my baby in the kitchen while Aja sat in front of the TV.

I walked the phone over to her and handed it off. “It’s your pops, shorty.”

She hopped off the couch excited, which brought a smile to my face. She had stopped asking me about them but I knew she missed them. Nobody could go from seeing and being around people they loved and not miss them. Her whole life had transformed, and though I tried to keep her life as normal as possible, I too knew it wasn’t normal.

After handing off the phone I gravitated to the kitchen where it smelled good as fuck. I hovered behind Harlem for a minute before I leaned down and kissed the back of her neck. “She didn’t drive you crazy, did she?”

“No, she’s a good kid and so sweet.”

“Yeah, when she wants something.” I kissed the side of her face.

She laughed. “Like her uncle, huh?”

“Damn, it’s like that? I'm sweet on your ass all the time.” I stepped back and leaned against the counter, taking her in. She had on a scarf type top with her back out and a pair of flared, bootcut jeans. Then her fucking hair. I loved them fucking locks on her, the way they encased her face. Who was I kidding? There wasn’t shit about this woman I didn’t like.

“Thank you for the donuts,” she said, interrupting my thoughts. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not right now. I just wanna watch you. Shit is mesmerizing.”

She turned around and looked at me. “Watch me what?”

“Cook. Just like you like cooking for me, I like watching you do it.” Who was I kidding? Err’thing in me wanted to say fuck this dinner and carry her back to my bedroom. We could worry about dinner later. Everything about Harlem made me insatiable. Even when I was dead tired, like this morning, I couldn’t not touch her.

“Stop looking at me like that and come taste this.” She held up a spoon for me to taste whatever was in the big ass pot.

“Can’t help it. I’m ’bout ready to get dinner ready so we can get to dessert and no I ain’t talking about those damn donuts.”

She giggled. “Down, sir, your niece is still very wide awake.”

“That’s cooking too. She has a TV and iPad in her room. You checked on your dogs today?”

“Yeah, they’re all fine. I’m probably gonna take them to the shop with me this week. Get their up to date weights and check in with everything necessary there.”

I nodded.

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