Page 59 of Phixmery

His eyes dart back and forth as he takes in what’s written there before passing it to Killian. “That’s in three days,” he states, and I can see the worry he’s been trying to mask in his gaze. The choosing is looming closer, and Evera has been relentless with her pursuit of him. He’s taken to sleeping anywhere but his rooms, after finding her in there one night.

“Zorn will get back to us quickly on this matter,” Kill grunts as he passes the folded parchment back to me.

“He better,” Tal snaps, running his fingers through his short, deep-chestnut tresses.

My boot squelches on the muddy grass, the weather turning warmer outside of the mountains as I move a step towards him. “He will. Although I do have an interesting development.” Their gazes harden on me.

“What did you do now, Jesp,” Talyn says, exasperated.

I raise my hands. “Nothing. Well, no, that’s not precisely true. But that story is besides the point.” I decide not to get into the helpful lesson I gave that second year soldier. “Ashbluff came to me.” I then proceed to tell them about our conversation. “I figured we could meet him under the castle, in that handy secret room, considering my Little Mouse hasn’t been sneaking out of her hole lately,” I scowl in annoyance.

Ever since Talyn lost his composure during that lesson a few weeks ago, she’s been annoyingly careful and hasn’t even stepped foot back under the castle. Her friends have closed ranks around her, but it doesn’t stop me from watching her every moment that I can. She started off as such a weak, mousy thing, but now she’s grown into her power—the power we know she has, anyway. It’s impossible to tell how much she’s hiding, and I still can’t get into her damn mind. There has to be something helping her—there is no way she’s powerful enough to keep me out like this. Even with some of the oldest fae, their shields eventually crumble under my magick.

Talyn’s expression turns sour at the mention of the vexing female who we still can’t get answers out of. I’ve never seen someone get under my brothers’ skin like she has. But I notice how their gaze barely breaks from her when she enters a room, even the surly, giant male standing to my left.

“Yes, that works. He’s been dropping hints about our extracurricular activities. I’m pretty sure it’s him who’s been keeping Rune off our back about our extended trips when we leave for missions. He would be an asset to the cause.” He pauses, his brow twitching, the only tell that he doesn’t want to ask this next question. “Still no updates on Cadet Solace?” He grinds out her name like it’s the bane of his existence.

Killian straightens as they both wait for my answer. “No,” I sigh. “Every waking hour I’ve been following her. She’s been spending a lot of time in the library with her squad, and she’s signed up for the Infantry faction for The Choosing. Her raven stays with her almost all of the time except during combat—although she should be using him during that,” I mumble under my breath. That bird watches me. He knows I’m there sometimes; whether or not he thinks it’s a coincidence or not and has told her is another question. Familiars are fickle that way, but loyal as hell to their fae.

“I can tell you she really doesn’t get along with your female and her friend, nor the one male in her squad, Cadet Levine. Or maybe it’s a love-hate relationship, because he seems to follow her around like a lost hatchling.” My eye nearly twitches at how that male acts towards her. Only we alone should be able to get under her pale, soft flesh like that.

“She’s not my female,” Tal snaps, while Killian grumbles, “Maybe we can use the male to our advantage in combat. Set him at her during sparring, or even the females.”

A thought strikes me. “I have an idea, but it’s going to take a bit of planning.”

Talyn sighs. “I’m all ears, but then we need to get back to meet with Ashbluff and bring him into the fold if he passes the tests.”

So I tell him the wild idea that may just get my Little Mouse to reveal her secrets, whether she wants to or not.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

NOTHING. There’s nothing we can do to get into the restricted part of the library. We’ve tried everything—it seems to be specifically keyed to the librarian’s touch, and short of cutting off her hand—which Nero is all for—I’m not sure what to do. It’s been weeks spent pointlessly in the library with Bracken practically up my ass for no reason. And let me tell you, that male is grating on my nerves. He makes my skin crawl, and the rest of our little group has noticed, too, always making sure we aren’t alone together. But because of that, I haven’t been sleeping much, feeling the weight of his stare as I lay in bed. Rozen and Lennox have taken it out on him during combat, although I’m sure he realizes I’m the reason they’re so relentless with him.

I lay there, unable to fully rest, drifting but not being able to put my guard down. It feels like I’m back in Shalo, always being watched, never being offered any privacy outside of my decrepit shed that had no lock. I’m more irritable than usual as well.

“Rav, try to get some rest. I’ll keep a watch out and wake you if he steps foot out of his bed, I promise,” he begs, feeling the brunt of my exhaustion.

My head shakes back and forth as I curl into a ball, fighting back tears of frustration. This isn’t me. I’m not some weak pathetic female, no matter what Wing One thinks. “I think I’m going to go for a shower. I need to relax and no one should be down there at this time.” It’s about an hour after curfew. Most of the academy is asleep, preparing for another day of brutal training.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

I shake my head again. “No, but if he tries anything, wake the others. I won’t be long, I just need to do this. Maybe it will help me sleep.”

His reluctance to let me go alone is like a tower bell ringing next to my head, but I send—well attempt to send—soothing thoughts down our connection back to him.

He settles slightly. “Fine, but the second his breathing even changes slightly, I’m waking them all up. You’ve been through enough shit in your life, Rav. You don’t need to be sleep-deprived because of him too.”

My forehead rests against his much smaller one before I kiss his feathered head and slowly grab my things, tip-toeing out of our squad chambers. With a sigh of relief, the anxious feeling subsiding now that I’m not in the same room as him, and I tread softly down the stairs to the showers.

The moment I push open the door, I’m greeted by a silent space, the smell of soap and dampness clinging to the air still from all the nightly showers the other year ones have taken. Heading to the first stall, I grab two towels on the way, before sliding the locking mechanism into the groove of the wall.

With a practiced routine I strip, hang my threadbare clothing from Shalo I use as sleepwear on the hook, and then do the same with the towels. I pull the chain to start the water, letting it heat up slightly before stepping under the steady stream pouring out from the ceiling.

Suddenly the water cuts out and I pull the cord again, but nothing happens. So I wait just a moment before yanking on it. Nothing. Tears pool in my eyes and I want nothing more than to go home, and for one weak moment I let myself revel in those moments from my past that I remember: running through the expansive gardens with faceless fae children I don’t have any true recollection of, and my fathers calling us in for dinner on a balcony that looks over a beautiful blossoming city. I let myself miss a life that will never happen before wiping the tears that had fallen and trying the cord again.

The water begins to pour out faster, the temperature rising until it’s scorching my skin. I pull the chain to turn it off but it doesn’t work—the blistering water continues to pour rapidly, turning my skin an awful shade of red. But before the burns can worsen, I slip trying to get out of the molten water.

Laughter sounds on the other side of my door as it gets kicked in to reveal Cresida and Evera standing there, fire striker and water canteen in hand.

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