Page 53 of Phixmery

“Then me,” Roz adds helpfully. “I’m sure I can get you sinking into fae’s minds in no time. I would teach you how to shield your mind against fae like me, but you seem to have that pretty down pat. Actually, I can teach the rest of you how to enforce your shields properly. If you leave yourselves open to us and we realize, it’s almost too tempting not to.” A wicked yet playful glint enters his gaze as he wiggles his fingers at us.

My brows furrow. “I don’t know what you mean—I’ve only ever shielded my mind intentionally. I haven’t been shielding when we’re alone with each other…”

His puzzled expression matches mine before he shrugs. “Maybe it’s your bloodline? I’ve never come into contact with a Gallalaus Fae before, so it’s more than possible.”

My frown deepens. Aunt Gretchen taught me the basics to keep people out and said that I have the tools I need to help, but didn’t elaborate. Why wouldn’t she have if I’m supposed to be keeping my past a forgotten secret? Mind you, the few memories I do have aren’t much, but it’s enough.

Lennox chimes in. “Well, then after you two, you, me and Mel can work on our elements together.”

“What about the Skuggi Magick?” Ember muses, “She’s going to need to learn to control that as well.”

The silence becomes so loud that it’s almost deafening. I can hear water dripping somewhere in the recesses of the cave. “No, it’s fine. If that magick slipped out, I would be dead on the spot anyway. It’s best if I don’t learn so that doesn’t happen.”

Melissandre shakes her head sadly. “Ravina, it’s only a matter of time until it does slip out, and with no control, who knows what you will be able to do. We’ve only heard rumors about their magick. It’s not something we learn about here until the third year, and we definitely don’t learn how to wield it.”

“We could always check the restricted section,” Lennox adds.

I shake my head. “Only the librarian can take books off the shelf, otherwise it triggers some sort of lock-down. We would need her permission or a Captain’s permission to even gain access.”

“It’s true, she’s a cantankerous old hag,” Ember murmurs, placing her hands on her narrow waist.

“Leave that to me,” Lennox grins. “I have a way with the females.”

Melissandre gags. “Yeah, sure you do.” Then she turns to Ember and I and mouths, “We may need another plan.”

We nod vigorously. Lennox may think he’s smooth, but watching his idea of flirting is like watching a carriage crash… while it’s on fire. “Well we should get started before it’s time for lights out and our squad-mates get suspicious.” My attention falls on my Vopn Fö friend. “Ready to beat the shit out of me?”

A genuine grin stretches across her delicately sharp features. “Let’s make you angry.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

THE MOMENT WE ARRIVE BACK at Phixmery, I’m annoyed. I swear I sensed something—someone that shouldn’t exist anymore—and it’s brought up things I prefer to stay blissfully in the past. But it’s probably just my brain playing tricks on me. No, I’m annoyed, not because I can’t follow my Little Mouse around, but because I need to contact my brother to send a message. The only reason why I’m doing this, going against my rebellious silence towards him, is because it’s for Cynder. When Talyn told us what was going on, why his father summoned him, our rage became palpable. We need to get her out of there before the end of the year. It’s the only way to protect both her and her brother—my best friend.

I stride through the empty halls of Phixmery. Everyone is done for the day as I head towards the kitchen. The only way I can contact him is through my mother. Don’t get me wrong, I’m furious with my brother and his choices, especially because I worked so hard to keep him safe all of these years. I love him. But I can’t support him with this. Even though my decisions are no better, I don’t have a choice.Hedid.

My mother greets me as I come into the kitchen. “Jesp! There you are, I’ve missed you, where have you been?”

My arms wrap around her lithe frame. “You know I can’t tell you that,” I murmur and then whisper in her ear so others don’t hear. “I need to get a message out to Evander.”

She pulls back searching my face for something, her brows drawn together before they smooth out, masking her confusion. “Of course, I’ll bake you some treats. I’ll send word for you when they’re ready,” she smiles, with hope glinting in her eye.

“Thank you. Now, is there anything I can help you with while I’m here?” I ask, even though I want nothing more than to go and search for the little enigma that has taken over my waking and sleeping thoughts. The others believe that I’m obsessed with her, but what they don’t know is that it’s more than that. She’s burrowed her way under my skin and has ingrained herself in me. I want to crawl into her head, find out all her secrets and make them my own. I need to possess her. But I won’t tell them that, because what if I am right and she’s working with them? My mind and body are at war with each other, and I feel even more out of my mind than usual.

I need answers before I let myself truly bask in this obsession. If I can’t have her, I’ll have to kill her. Ugh. Why do the fates have to make things so complicated?

My mother pats my cheek. “Thanks for the offer of help, but no, the prep for breakfast won’t be until after cleanup. Go relax, and Jesper…” She pauses, tilting her head down and peering up at me through narrowed eyes. “Stay out of trouble, and leave that poor female alone. Don’t think we haven’t heard the rumors about you slinking after her. Talk to her like a normal male, for crying out loud. I raised you better than that.”

A couple of the female nulls giggle before my gaze snaps to them. They instantly mute the noise and make themselves busy as I focus back on my mother. “I know,” I fib.

She did raise me to be better, until my father came into the picture with hisdarlingof a chosen mate. They made me into who I am, it’s how I cope, but I’ll never let my mother see the full scope of what their damage inflicted. I couldn’t stand to see the heartbreak on her face. She’s already been hurt enough to last a lifetime.

“Good.” She nods her head, shooing me with a towel.

A soft chuckle floats out of my mouth as I hold a palm out, playfully swatting the towel away, making a hasty retreat through the kitchen exit.

I debate for a second on going back on my word to her that I would rest, but I’m exhausted. Not to mention that Talyn wants to join us tonight when we follow my Little Mouse down into the caverns under the castle, and I want to be wide awake for when I see her again. With that settled, I head to the North Tower to get some beauty rest.

“ARE YOU SURE she’s never missed a night?” Talyn growls as it gets closer to dawn.

---