Page 13 of Phixmery

The room quickly empties out after that, and I’m left with the Captain and a bunch of desks between us.

“Well, get down here. If you want to make it to dinner tonight, you better make it fast or you and your squad will be paying for it.” she snaps, waiting for me to make my way to her.

With a deep breath, I rise to my feet and make my way down the steps without it seeming suspicious. I don’t think I have a choice. Either I make my squad hate me by making our chores pile up day after day, or I give her something. Nero lands on my shoulder, lending me his unwavering support. I can do this, but I can’t make it seem too easy. I’ll have to pretend for at least a bit. That way I don’t get in trouble for her dismissing the lesson early.

Finally, I reach the center and wait for instruction.

She eyes me carefully before instructing. “Ashbluff is correct; nulls don’t have familiars. Only powerful fae do. I think you’re seeking attention, and I don’t do well with attention seekers Cadet Solace. So I’ll make a deal with you since commander Ashbluff has informed me of your unique situation. Until we get your magickunblocked…” she sneers the word like she doesn’t believe me, which she shouldn’t but I’m not going to tell her that, “... and up to the standards I think you should be at, you will be joining me every night for an hour after dinner. If you fail to show tonight or any other time, I’ll make sure that you and your squad will be cleaning out the gryphon stalls for the rest of the year.”

Fucking fates. This could be exactly what I need though, and it will get Nero off my back. I could pretend to struggle and pick an element to show, but I’d have to be careful—if any magick other than elemental magick appears, Nero and I will be in danger. It’s not something that I want to do, but it’s a small sacrifice I can make to make sure my secret remains hidden. “Thank you, I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to help me. I agree to your terms.”

She nods approvingly. “I’ll be keeping my eye on you, Cadet Solace. Now leave and get your dinner. I’ll see you back in this room promptly afterwards.”

AFTER PROCURING SOME dinner for Nero and me, I make my way back to Room One A where Captain Batsil will be waiting for us. The wooden door creaks ominously as I open it and she is waiting right where we left her, stoic expression and all.

“Well, don’t just stand there. I don’t have all night, and the sooner we can figure out what’s wrong with you, the better this will be for all of us,” she snaps and I swiftly make my way down the steps towards her.

“Sorry Captain,” I mutter sheepishly.

She scoffs but pushes on. “What do you know about finding your magick source?”

Nero caws softly and nuzzles my cheek, and I take comfort in running my fingers along his silky smooth feathers. “Not much,” I lie. “I was told it was instinctive.” And it is to a point, but when you’re first learning, you have to consciously tap into the power source.

Her eye twitches as she takes me in again. “Your magick is located at the source of your being. You should be able to look within and feel it, see it even. As a child when you came into your power, you should have been taught this. Did your parents teach you nothing?”

“My family is dead, Captain,” I state sourly.

Her face seems to soften slightly before becoming hard again. “Well, what are you waiting for? Close your eyes and search. Some say it feels like a ball of light sitting in your chest. Others say it resembles their element.” She goes on to describe all the different ways Elemi fae feel their Magick source. It’s fascinating, but mine has never felt like that.

Mine has always resembled an endless void that is both warm and cold, beautiful yet horrifying, and sometimes it feels like one day it may consume me.

We sit there for a good portion of the hour while I pretend to search for my magick, and as the minutes tick by she gets increasingly more agitated. When I think it’s been long enough, I freeze up, unsure if I should do this, if this is the route I should take or if I should stick with the original plan of pretending to be a null.

Nero chirps in my ear. “Rav, it won’t hurt to show an element. That way if another element slips up it won’t seem unusual. We just need to be careful, that’s all. You can do this, I’ll be by your side the entire time.”

Letting the comfort of our bond give me strength, I slowly blow out a breath and nod. “I found it, now what?”

“Thank the fates,” Batsil mumbles before speaking up. “Now pull on it. I’ve set up the four elements in front of you. Feel for the one or more you’re connected to and bring it towards you.”

Opening my eyes I see she has set up a ceramic bowl of water and earth, a small candle with a flickering flame and a pinwheel that’s slowly spinning from the breeze coming through the open window. My eyes drag to the flame, figuring it would be the most useful in any situation in the mountain landscape.

Reaching my finger slightly in front of me, I take another nervous breath and Nero makes a comforting purr in his throat. In a flash I’m holding a tiny spark of a flame in my finger.

“Well, that’s slightly underwhelming, but I can work with that. You’re dismissed. I’ll see you in the lesson tomorrow.” She turns and leaves the room and I continue to stare into the flame, soaking in its meager warmth.

Watching the tiny flame flicker on the tip of my finger pulls at the corners of my mouth. It’s like a fraction of the weight I carry has been lifted… It’s almost freeing.

CHAPTER SEVEN

IT'S BEEN A WEEK SINCE we have arrived at Phixmery War Academy, and Nero and I have fallen into an easy little routine. We rise before everyone else so I can shower in peace before Yearwood, and I head down to the dining hall for a quiet breakfast where words are barely exchanged between us as the others in our squad speak quietly amongst themselves. Although the past couple days Rozen sometimes sits next to us too, if he hasn’t slept in, missing breakfast entirely.

Bracken has been avoiding me again, thank the fates, and has been hanging around with Cresida and Evera. Our two squads are always sitting next to each other, making it easier for them to get closer or whatever it is that they’re doing. The two females have been thankfully leaving me alone since I haven’t gotten our squad in any trouble since the first day, although I do catch glares that could kill coming from Cresida.

Combat lessons have been non-stop Physical Training, and my body hurts so much because of it that I’m tempted to go to medical for a tonic to ease my muscles, but Yearwood politely informed me that it’s frowned upon unless you’re practically on death’s doorstep to even set foot in there—it shows weakness if you can’t handle a bit of pain. Pain and I are old acquaintances, but it doesn’t mean I enjoy the constant aches.

Lessons with Captain Batsil are going as well as could be expected. She’s frustrated that my magick doesn’t live up to her standards of having a familiar, but she is impressed with the control I have, so today will hopefully be my last lesson with her after classes which should free up my time to see about heading to the library to do some research—something I’m not looking forward to but needs to be done.

“Are you ready to go?” Yearwood asks as she places her utensil down on her empty plate, glancing between Rozen and me.

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