Page 16 of Stilettos and Outlaws

“Enough!” The squat thug fired a round into the air. “Call your dispatch center and find out.”

The tall thug suddenly fell to the ground and didn’t move.

“Oh, my God,” Mom shrieked. “You shot him!”

The squat thug stared at his buddy in disbelief. “Did not. It’s the rattlesnake venom.”

“Bastard! Did you kill Chuck too?” Mom whipped out her Mace and sprayed the hell out of the remaining thugs.

Julie and I fired off a volley of bullets, hitting their vests numerous times. The thugs flew backwards and hit the ground hard. The pain would keep them down and out of commission for a while.

“Go. Go. Go, Eddie,” Mom yelled.

Eddie stomped on the gas and as we passed the black SUV, we shot out the tires.

I laughed. “Well, that was fun.”

“Fun?” Jerry exclaimed. “Your entire family is nuts.”

“And proud of it,” Mom said. “Quick! Turn off your cellphones before the menfolk start calling.”

“I can’t do that, Mom.”

In the distance dozens of sirens sounded.

My cellphone rang. “Deputy Stone.” I flinched. “It’s okay, Dad. Mom did her crazy old lady act. We’re heading for the hospital, and we left you a present at the 303 and Sun Valley Parkway.” I handed Mom my phone. “Dad wants to talk to you.”

“We’re fine. The idiots not so much. Uh huh. I didn’t. His buddy shot him. You need to let Frank know they are looking for his prisoner. Okay.” Mom disconnected and gave me back my phone.”

“What did Dad say?”

Mom grumbled, “I’m not allowed to shoot anyone else today.”

“That’s okay, he didn’t say we couldn’t.”

Julie’s phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID. “I think Sergeant Bergman is about to tell us the same thing.” She swiped right. “Deputy Garza. Yes, sir. No, sir. Gotcha.” Julie disconnected. “Yep, no shooting anyone and I gotta know. Where did you get that freakin’ snake?”

“Miss Kitty caught it. It was under the front seat,” Mom replied.

Julie growled, “I’m gonna kill Scotty.”

“Paybacks are a bitch,” I inserted. “We need to stop by Everson’s Reptile House and buy some baby snakes.”

Julie grinned. “Yes, we do.”

“You girls are downright scary,” Jerry commented.

I patted his knee. “Don’t piss us off and you don’t have anything to worry about.”

Jerry raised an eyebrow. “That’s not reassuring.”

“We have a police escort,” Eddie called.

I frowned. “I bet they’re gonna try to take our guns away too.”

“Over my dead body,” Mom hissed.

I bared my teeth in a deadly smile. “Exactly.”

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