Page 6 of Defying the Relic Hunter

The Hummer followed, barely missing a city bus. Betcha he was pissed about the cookies too. I would be.

“Kizzy?”

“I’ll call you back, Sebastian, gotta ditch a Coletti with a death wish.”

“You need help? I can be there in eight hours.”

“Nah, I can handle him. Just get Uncle Aldo out of the country.”

“Be careful, luv.”

“I always am. Ciao.” I disconnected, took a hard right down an alley and shot into a large parking garage. Time for a little hide and seek. I parked on the bottom level, grabbed my goodie bag and fled into the mall.

The first restroom I came across, I hurried inside and transformed myself into an old, gray-haired lady. Instead of the maid’s outfit, I now wore a baggy, flower print dress.

Granny’s disembodied voice hissed, “Why are you running from your man?”

“Give it a rest, will ya. If you haven’t noticed, Ethan’s trying to arrest me, not kiss me.”

“The fates have chosen him for you. They will not be denied.”

I wanted to bang my head against the wall. “Ok, let’s get real here. I’m the last woman on Earth Ethan would be interested in. Coletti warlords want women with awesome psychic abilities. I’m a dud. I’m not pretty nor am I skinny.”

“Men like large-breasted women.”

“You got me there. I do have big boobs, but most Coletti warriors want a woman who will obey their every command. That’snotme.”

With a blast of arctic air Granny Annabel appeared in the restroom. “He is built like a stallion and he knows how to fuck.”

My granny was using the F word!

“You need an experienced man, one who knows how to pleasure a woman.”

The image of his snake-like cock popped into my mind and I gasped. “Are those tentacles?”

“They are his love toys,” Granny replied.

“Oh, hell no. I want a guy with a normal dick. One who will respect me, treat me as an equal and be my best friend.”

“Friends? Bah! You need passion and fire.”

“Like you had with Uncle Frederic? He broke your heart and took every penny you had. So, I think I’ll pass.”

“You hateful child, I raised you better than that.”

“Uncle Aldo raised me,” I retorted.

The temperature in the restroom suddenly became sub-arctic and ice formed on the mirror.

“La famiglia is more important than gold,” Granny Annabel snapped.

A snow flurry erupted.

“Can we lose the blizzard?”

“I want your promise that you will allow Ethan to court you.”

My teeth chattering, I cried, “You win! If he asks me out on a date, I’ll go.” The chances of that happening were zero.

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