Page 138 of Rewind It Back

I’mmaking it feel different because I can’t look at her and not hate myself for letting her go. Honestly, I don’t know how she can even look atme. I can’t change the past now, but I don’t know how she’d ever be able to move on from what I’ve done and see a future together. And that is a terrifying realization that’s been constantly floating around in my head this week.

“Rio?”

Kennedy’s voice pulls me out of my head, and I snap out of it to find all four of them looking at me. “Huh?”

“I was saying that we’re all coming to your game against San Jose at the end of the month. It might be the last one that Isaiah and I can make it to for a while since we leave for spring training soon.”

“Oh.” I nod. “Cool.”

“Do you think Hallie would want to join us?” Miller asks.

“Yeah... um. I don’t know. Maybe.”

Indy nudges Miller’s shoulder. “Should we bring the kids, or do you think your hot dad would be up for babysitting?”

“Gross.” She grimaces. “You guys have got to stop calling him that.”

“We can’t,” Stevie chimes in. “Even my husband refers to Monty as Miller’s hot dad.”

Kennedy is trying to hold back her laughter. “Who started that?”

“Ryan,” Indy and Stevie say at the same time.

“I think the boys might be in love with him,” Indy continues. “Both of them always talk about hoping to look as good as him at that age. And ‘did you see how fucking jacked Miller’s hot dad is?’”

“And Zee is constantly drooling over Monty’s tattoos,” Stevie adds.

“Why?” Miller could not look more disgusted. “Zee is fully tatted up himself.”

“Yes, but they’re not Miller’s hot dad’s tattoos.”

Miller closes her eyes. “I hate this so much.”

Kennedy can’t stop laughing, but she doesn’t chime in on the conversation. Probably because Miller’s dad is not only her colleague, but also Isaiah’s coach, and that would just make things weird.

Stevie swats my leg. “How does that make you feel, to know that Ryan Shay has himself a man-crush, but it isn’t you?”

I shrug.

Everyone’s eyes narrow.

“I mean, yeah,” I amend. “Have you seen Monty?”

That doesn’t do anything to sway their suspicion. Probably because I’m mentally checked out and there’s no playfulness in my tone the way there is ninety-nine percent of the time.

“Rio,” Indy says softly. “Something is up. Is Hallie’s dad okay?”

They’re all aware I missed the Boston game and, of course, I told Zee what was going on before I left for the airport, so I couldn’t exactly keep certain facts from my friends.

But they don’t know the details. Only that Hallie’s dad had a scare, and I wanted to be there.

I shake my head. “Yeah. It’s not that.”

Well, not entirely.

Indy watches me. “You know you can tell us anything, right? If you need to talk about something.”

My attention bounces around the room to each of them. I’ve seen every single one of their relationships form from the beginning to now. I was on the plane the day Stevie met Zee. Indy stayed at my house in the few days she wasn’t sure Ryan saw a future with her or not. I still remember the night when we all figured out that Miller was in love with Kai, even if she hadn’t realized it herself. And Kennedy... Well, I watched Isaiah obsess over her for years before she married him.

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