Page 132 of Rewind It Back

He doesn’t react at all. “And why are you in debt?”

Searching his face, I realize he already knows the answer. That’s why he’s not reacting. No, my dad didn’t tell him because he has no idea about it, but this is Rio. The person who knows me better than anyone, even all these years later.

“I think you already know.”

“Your dad’s cancer trial. The insurance didn’t cover as much as you let him believe.”

I shake my head. “It didn’t cover housing or moving expenses. There was no caregiver stipend like I told him there was. But he wouldn’t have done the trial if he knew that, and I needed him to get better. So, I told him everything was covered. I took out a loan to make it happen.”

Rio’s brows knit together, but he doesn’t say anything, so I continue.

“I was working on paying it back when he was in remission the first time. I was able to work more hours, but then he got sick again and needed me. I couldn’t make the payments. Interest compounded and well... it got expensive.”

Again, he doesn’t say anything, and there’s a part of me that wonders if I’m being judged for being careless with my money, but I didn’t think it was careless back then. I still don’t.

“As soon as I get hired full-time at the design firm, I’ll be able to pay it down quicker. I’m just trying to stay on top of it as best I can until—”

“Hallie,” he cuts me off. “You don’t owe me an explanation. You were taking care of your family. I’d do the same thing if I were in your position.” Shaking his head, he’s having a hard time looking me in the eye again. “But you should have never been in that position in the first place and I’m so fucking sorry for putting you there.”

I knew this was coming. I knew he was going to feel guilty. That he’d blame himself.

I’ll admit, when I was younger, there was a part of me that wanted him to know how hard things were after he left. I wanted him to feel like shit for leaving me the way he did. But not anymore. Neither of us can change our choices, and dwelling on them is only going to fill us with regret.

I don’t stop running the pads of my thumbs in soothing strokes against his cheeks as I give him a minute to gather himself.

Eventually, he tilts his head back and looks up at me. “When did you find out he was sick?”

Thatis something I can’t tell him right now. Not when he’s already so busy beating himself up from everything else he’s learned today.

“Rio, it’s late. Let’s get some sleep.”

His eyes are filled with dread as he looks up at me, like he already knows what I’m going to say. “When?”

I exhale a resigned sigh, knowing he’s not going to let this go until I tell him. “The summer you got drafted. Two weeks before you left for training camp in Chicago.”

I watch as he tries to process it, as he tries to understand the timeline. I see the moment it clicks because he looks like he got the wind knocked out of him.

“Please tell me that’s not true.”

All I can do is offer him a sad smile and watch his entire demeanor deflate more than it already was.

I hadn’t gotten a chance to tell him about my dad’s diagnosis all those years ago because twenty-four hours after I learned about it, I found out thathisdad was having an affair.

I was so scared for so many reasons, and suddenly, I didn’t know how to tell him anything.

Leaning forward, he drops his forehead to my stomach to hide his face from me. “You weren’t yourself at all those last two weeks. I remember that. After everything came out, I figured it was because you had known about my dad and were trying to keep it from me.”

I run my fingers through his hair, attempting to soothe him. “It was partly that. But I was also scared about my dad being sick and not knowing what that was going to look like for us. I was supposed to move to Chicago with you, and I didn’t know how to tell you that I might not be able to go anymore.”

He shakes his head. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Rio—”

He lifts his head to look at me, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so heartbroken. He’s trying his best not to cry. To keep it together.

“I left you to deal with all of that on your own, Hallie. Do not try to make me feel better about this.”

“You didn’t know.”

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