Page 106 of Rewind It Back

“Cool. That sounds fun. I’ll let you get to sleep.” He walks down the hall to his room before calling out, “Happy birthday, sis.”

Closing my door, I lock it again before grabbing this year’s mix CD off my desk and climbing out the window.

There’s a thick blanket laid out in the middle of the roof where Rio is waiting for me, lying on his back with his hands behind his head.

“It’s perfect out here tonight, Hal. Look how big and bright the moon is.”

He’s right. It is perfect. The weather. The view.Him.

My brother’s words ring in my mind.

“Perfect night for our last birthday together.”

He cranes to look in my direction. “What are you talking about?”

I pad over to the centerline of the roof, lying on the blanket next to him. “You’ll be away at school next year for my birthday. We won’t be able to meet on the roof.”

“We’ll have every birthday after college though. Every March eighth. It’s not our last.” He studies me cautiously. “Is everything okay?”

I nod, but don’t say anything.

“Come here.” Lifting his arm, he nudges me to lie on his chest. “What are you so worried about?”

“Things are going to change.”

“They are.”

“Doesn’t that scare you?”

He runs his fingers through my long hair. “A little bit, but I’m not scared for us. I’m scared of how much I’m going to miss you, and I’m scared about trying to focus on hockey when I know I’m going to be thinking of home. But you and me, Hal? There’s nothing to be scared about when it comes to us.”

I want to believe him, and of course I believe that’s how he feels right now.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not insecure thinking about him moving away and forgetting about me. He’s going to be playing hockey at a D1 school eight hundred miles away. He’s got himself a full-ride scholarship, which I’m so proud of him for, but the guy is going to receive a lot of attention. He already does, but he doesn’t even realize how many girls at our school have their eye on him. All because they don’t know he’s mine.

It’s not that I’m worried about him being unfaithful. Rio doesn’t have an unfaithful bone in his body. But I’m human, so yeah, there’s a part of me that’s scared he’ll get a taste of life outside of our little Boston neighborhood and realize he wants more.

“You don’t think you’ll forget about me?”

He bursts a laugh. “You truly have no idea how ingrained you are in here, huh?” He taps his chest. “You’re basically living rent free, Hallie Hart.”

I burrow into him even more.

“I wish you could see inside my head, Hal. You’d see the picture I’ve got painted of our future, and every part of it revolves around you, okay?” With his knuckle, he urges my chin up so I look at him. “It’s you and me. I promise.”

I offer him a smile. “Okay.”

He leans down to kiss me. “Okay.”

I place the mix CD on his stomach and that grin on his lips turns up even more.

“I was waiting for this.”

I may cringe a bit when we listen to it together later and he realizes that every single song is from a moment with him, but that’s okay. He was a part of all my best memories this year, just like he is most years. Any memories I wish I could rewind and relive are all the ones he and I have had over the years, growing up together. Learning each other. Falling for each other.

He wraps his arm around me tighter, pulling me into him as his other hand traces over the number seventeen and the letter “H” written in permanent marker on the CD. This year, he lingers for a while, following the lines around the heart I draw to represent my last name. Then, as always, he covers the little extra tail with his forefinger.

I don’t push his hand away. I don’t give him a hard time for teasing me and my wonky drawn hearts. I simply stare at his fingers, trying to ingrain the image into my memory because I know we won’t be on the roof this time next year.

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