“She’s a girl, because I swore I’d geld this asshole if he kept throwing boys.” Eva glared at Kel, who grinned at his wife.

“I really hope that baby is actually a girl this time, Kel.”

“She is. We were looking into some fertility treatments, as it seems I am defective and have ninety-five percent male sperm. Fortunately, it seems our little girl was very determined to enter the world, beating up the male candidates and ejecting them from the competition. If we want more girls, we’ll probably have to do some special treatments or beat the family record for highest number of children produced.”

“Aren’t you surrounded by sisters?” I asked, raising a brow, as their family tended to throw more girls than boys.

“Meredith has been working with Dr. Pemland, as Eva only tolerates Dr. Hampford, Melody, Dr. Stanton, and Dr. Pemland, especially when it comes to her babies. Dr. Pemland is getting ready to retire, which Eva is not handling well.”

Eva shrugged. “It’s true. I’m trying, but I have trauma, and that trauma manifests as a rather strong dislike of doctors. I have an easier time if the nutter here works with them first. We still haven’t found a dentist I won’t try to eviscerate.”

“Why don’t you come when I go for my big appointments, and you can see how mine works?” I offered. “We have slots for the royal family, and you can steal them if you end up able to use our clinic.”

“Your teeth are a spicy disaster,” Kel informed his wife.

“They’re not just a disaster, they’re a spicy disaster?”

“You are one piece of bacon away from a broken tooth!”

Eva scowled.

I sighed, aware if she was at that stage, her mouth bothered her. “Eva, if you have a bad tooth, the bacteria can work into your jaw and make you sick. I just got this lecture, which is why I’m getting a molar yanked and replaced, because I’m notquiteone piece of bacon away from a broken tooth, but it’s bad enough I’ve been put on notice. Yes, the dentist trips suck, but if you’re as bad as Rachel, they’ll send you off to take a nap and fix your teeth. And the stuff they use to send her off to nappy land is safe for pregnant women, so you can get your teeth fixed while you’re sleeping. But please get it fixed.”

Eva stomped my way, got in my face, and hissed, “What do you mean I could sleep through dental work?”

Uh oh. “Nobody told you that was an option?”

She shook her head.

I gave Langley a kiss on his cheek, handed him off to his mother, and got my phone out, dialing the royal dentist, hoping he forgave me for the spicy disaster I was about to dump on his lap.

“What’s wrong?” Dr. Percheron asked. “Did the molar break?”

“My molar is fine, but my friend’s wife, according to him, is a piece of bacon away from a broken tooth. He calls her mouth a spicy disaster. She’s pregnant, and she might be as bad as my sister about dentists.”

“How soon can you have her here? I am at the clinic, and I have nothing critical today. My lab crew is here as well, so if she needs any crowns, we can do everything today.”

I grinned at Monty. “Please relocate Her Royal Highness to the dentist. Dr. Percheron is in the office, the lab crew is available, and it can be a one and done should any crowns be required.”

Eva gasped. “You… you…”

I engaged my friend’s wife with a raised brow. “You are going, and I am pleased to assist with the relocation of your person should you put up a fight. Bad teeth might make you sick, which might hurt the baby, so you are going, and you are going now.”

“You fiend,” Eva spluttered, and she pointed at me. “That was New York mean!”

I bowed with a flourish. “At your service, m’lady. Are you going to go or are we going to have some fun while you put up a fight first?”

Langley tugged on his mom’s shirt. “Mommy, if you go to the dentist, you won’t have any more problems with telling us stories if you decide to have something sweet before bed. You know how badly sweet things hurt. If you go, it won’t hurt anymore, and then we won’t feel badly because we wanted story time.”

“Well done, Langley,” I praised, ruffling the boy’s hair. “You relocate your mommy to the dentist, and I’ll make sure that your daddy gets all his important work done, so everyone is ready for story time tonight.”

“Ian, you are the worst, and you will pay for this,” Eva swore.

“But you will get your revenge with teeth that don’t hurt, you’ll be happier, and you won’t have to deal with the procedure, for you get to nap. Me? I have to suffer. He has no mercy.” I returned the phone to my ear. “She will be there in a few minutes. She will be accompanied by her son and a herd of RPS agents. The son would like to learn some big words and could likely use some acclimation to dentists.”

“We can keep an eye on the kid, that won’t be a problem. Which kingdom is my new patient from?”

“Illinois.”