Page 117 of The Prince of New York

Damn it. “But shelikesbeing tossed.”

“That is because you allowed the trampoline, and she’s going to be giving us gray hairs. You have cultivated a gymnast, and the future gymnast has not realized it yet. Everyone else has, yourself included.”

Crap. Madelyn must have found the paperwork to start the girls on sports, with Danielle’s instructor being a former professional gymnast with careful methodology regarding young, developing bodies and the sport. “Just because I may have hired a specialty teacher…”

“Ian, your specialty instructor arrived yesterday, and Olivia was the only person who had any idea what was going on.”

Crap, crap, crap. “That was yesterday?”

“That was yesterday.”

Well, there went what was left of my lifespan. If May’s instructor had arrived yesterday, Danielle’s equally skilled instructor had also arrived yesterday. In good news for me, Rachelhadknown about May’s instructor, as I had needed to ask for an entire room in the palace for the bazillion plants the little girl would surely grow.

May still loved her flowers, and after catching her stalking the gardeners numerous times, I’d decided she would get her wish and have a dedicated teacher for all things botany.

Would the care I’d taken with the selection of teachers save me? I hoped so. “Danielle’s instructor is aware that we don’t actually know if Danielle will like gymnastics. May’s instructor is aware that she is going to be stalked, likely during every waking minute, to answer yet another question about why plants exist, how plants exist, and why some plants aren’t edible. The instructors are also babysitters, and it took so long to get them because they had to qualify to work as royal nannies. I paid for that education, and I’ve been paying their salaries and tuition for a while.”

“That much I did know, as once the surprise instructors showed up, I rummaged through our suite until I found your files on them. I find it rather amusing that you took all my complaints and attempted to resolve them.”

The whole babysitter and instructor scheme had been based on one of her complaints, as she had felt too many children were being raised by screens rather than people.

“We are going to regret the lack of screen time when we want some peace and quiet,” I warned her. “Our girls have zero interest in screen time and would rather torture every adult to cross their path.”

“I’ll call Thailand myself if you are not making preparations to come home by tomorrow,” she replied, and like me, she’d adopted a tone making it clear she did not issue a threat. Should I fail to secure my release, shewouldbe causing an international incident.

I smiled over the thought of her attempting to take over Thailand to bring me home. “I’ll do my best. Give the girls hugs for me and let them know I’m almost done my business here. Just try to leave me alive. Rachelmightmiss me after a few weeks.”

“It’s looking sketchy at this point, but I’ll see what I can do.”

* * *

Madelyn’s suggestion topurchase four Lampang horses worked, and the Thai monarchs and several members of their court took me to the city. Rather than fly like sensible beings, we drove in a rather impressive convoy, stopping at everything of interest along the way, transforming the eight hour venture into a four day adventure. Upon finding out why I would be delayed, Madelyn agreed to the whole fiasco while laughing at my misfortune.

Talking to me on the phone did a good job of convincing the girls I would be returning. The promise of gifts would make the next week in the palace interesting, but some prices I was willing to foist upon my sister and my future wife. Excited children beat crying children any day of the week.

If Rachel could survive Danielle and May at their worst, she stood a good chance of handling her future twins.

Thailand’s queen, Chailai to those who had earned entry into her inner circles, insisted on taking us to her favorite bike store located in a smaller city skirting Bangkok. As there were two vans and more than a few SUVs with the job of hauling acquisitions, I acquired bicycles for everyone in my family, Rachel and Ethan included. It amused me that the bicycle owner evaluated everyone by their photograph and the vital statistics from the RPS to determine which sort of bicycle each rider needed for a safe, happy, and comfortable trip.

I would enjoy finding trails to take my new mountain bike on, as the shop owner, upon spotting me, declared I needed a little more adventure in my life and a little less time at my desk.

Smalls, who traveled in one of the SUVs unless we were stopped and could ride in my pocket, observed with interest. In the days since acquiring her, she hadn’t grown even an inch, resulting in the Thai monarchs panicking and summoning their experts.

Baby crocodiles grew worse than weeds, adding on roughly an inch within a week and over a foot in length a year until maturity, when their growth slowed.

Smalls would be measured daily, but the vets had confirmed what our Cambodian guide had suspected: she would have perished in the wild, easy prey for larger predators, other crocodiles included. One of the vets, with extensive mending talents, had stolen my baby away in the hours before the trip, returning her in a rather sleepy state and promising that any resolvable health problems had been attended to.

Then, in a solemn voice, he warned me of the various health ailments my baby girl might face, which could be addressed with yearly treatments. Some of those treatments would need to be done in Thailand, Cambodia, or Egypt, as they had the appropriate facilities.

The RPS would hate me for dragging a crocodile along with me on diplomatic trips to other kingdoms, but for once in my life, I would do exactly what I wanted without worry.

On the second day of the trip to Lampang, Zach and Peter joined the convoy, and Terry and Daphne managed to depart and return home.

Terry needed to get back to his pregnant wife, which earned him the easiest of the outs, and Will needed his cousin to defend his life from his wife, who had finally learned the details of our trickery and was out for his head. As the Thai monarchs actually liked Will, they released Daphne off with a few small gifts, bicycles for Will’s little ones, and a request for her to return when she had more time to visit and see the kingdom.

Eddie’s dad did the equivalent of toss his beloved boy under a bus, requesting spices and ingredients while in the kingdom and doing so in such a way the Thai monarchs could overhear. As such, we stopped at every reputable spice stand on the way. As I wanted to learn how to cook more things, while Eddie shopped for spices, Chailai ambushed street vendors and demanded lessons on how things were cooked, translating so I could expand my culinary education.

I took notes, recorded videos, and otherwise documented each lesson so I could drive the kitchen staff in New York wild when I experimented with strange new foods.

---