She cackled her mirth and pointed at me. “No, your face as you tried to be something other than a dour professional is hilarious. Whatever that was is not for you.”
“I was trying to pout.”
My confession served to make her laugh harder. “You can, in the most extreme of circumstances, pout. I think I’ve seen you pull it off maybe twice, and both times, someone scored a lethal blow to your poor little heart. Stick to your strengths, Terry. Pouting is not one of your strengths.”
“Well, at least you think I do have a strength. That’s something. After today? I can’t say I have much in the way of strengths.” I held up my hand and gave it a shake to draw attention to the prison suppressor. “They surely planned this understanding I’d suffer from hypothermia, forcing me to go to the hospital at their whim to get this damned thing off.”
“Next time, don’t try to bust out. You gave yourself a hard enough zap to worry the RPS. They actually decidedagainstmaking me flail for a few extra hours because of that zap. Their conspirators tipped them off and suggested they hurry things along.”
“I am in no hurry to repeat that experience.” I shot the device a glare.
“Maybe we should leave it on for a few days. You know, just to make sure you don’t escape.”
I narrowed my eyes and glowered at the woman. “That is a terrible idea.”
“If you agree to try the seafood, I will suggest they hurry up and get that thing removed.”
“Maybe if you remove the legs first,” I muttered.
“I think we can manage to have the legs removed, although you’ll have to eat the leg meat. That’s the best part. Well, at least of the crabs. Lobster tail is just as amazing as the claw meat. But if you agree to try everything, I will reward you with a nice steak and set you free from the suppressor.”
“This is coercion.”
“Yes, it is. But it’s for your good. I’ve been through similar, although not quite to the same extreme. That was before my brother assigned me to you. It was hell. I have been in your shoes. I was forced tohold iguanas. For hours. I was not allowed to stop holding them until I stopped crying. It was a four day affair. I’m not going to make you hold a crab.”
My mouth dropped open. “They did what to you?”
“For every waking moment, for four days, I was forced to hold lizards. Mostly iguanas. We were doing a Royal event at a zoo in the reptile exhibit, and I was specifically requested. Apparently, I was not permitted to run screaming from the event. So, they did extreme exposure therapy. For the first day, yes, I was suppressed and tied to a chair. By the end of it? I do not like lizards, but I can be in the same room with them without running away in terror. I just shiver, check my escape routes, and pet the lizard if the lizard wants to be petted. If the lizard does not want to be petted, I give it plenty of space.”
I struggled to comprehend being stuck in a tank with crabs and lobsters and shrimp for four days. But if she could hold one, so could I.
It couldn’t bethathard, could it?
Heaving a sigh, I marched into the warehouse and eyed the tubs.
“You have a worrying look on your face,” Carl said, coming across the warehouse. “What are you about to do that we’re all going to regret?”
“Olivia picked up lizards.”
“Ah. Yes. You are not the first from Montana to be tormented in such a fashion. You aren’t about to be outdone by your princess, are you?”
“Apparently.”
“You brave, foolish man. All right. What’s your poison?”
“Which one earns me the best street cred for handling without running away in terror?”
“One of the large lobsters or a king crab. The lobsters are pretty docile right now, so you can probably get wet, hold it, and it’ll just wave its eye stalks and claws at you a little. The king crabs are a bit rowdy.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the lobsters, right? They’re pets now.”
“They’re fine. We have an animal empath here that is keeping them all happy, so you won’t frighten it.”
“I guess I’ll try the lobster.”
“Let’s sit you on the floor with him, because he weighs a lot, you might be weaker than you expect, and if youdofaint, you and the lobster won’t get hurt.” Carl pointed at the floor, and then he laughed at something behind me. “You’re a cruel woman, Your Highness.”
“If he can hold any one of them without fainting, running away, or screaming, he won’t be given four days of hell. I’m trying to spare him!”