Page 45 of Iron Unicorn

As I’d been set free from the variety of restraints, I worked on testing my feet, ankles, wrists, and hands for any evidence of injury from the handcuffs. I passed all the basic checks, and heaving a sigh, I decided to test if I could stand.

My feet protested over their state as chilled and cold, but I was able to get down from the damned platform with minimal help from Carl. I bent over, braced my hands on my knees, and cursed the RPS for its shitty sense of humor. “If you want those monsters, you are more than welcome to them.”

Olivia laughed, and she patted my shoulder. “I’m sorry you were frightened, but I’m glad you’re all right. I didn’t realize it was a scenario until after I got worked up, but then I heard one of the phrases we use in Montana and came to the conclusion those RPS bastards had decided to fuck around with both of us.”

Carl laughed, and once he was certain I was stable on my feet, he let go of my arm. “You missed her temper tantrum over it, but it was recorded for your amusement. We had to cut the scenario short because your heart rate dropped lower than the monitoring physicians prefer. Hypothermia. We took our time getting your core body temperature up, but you’re fine. You were dazed, but that’s to be expected. You’ll get to enjoy the next two days in a warm, cozy hotel room to make sure you don’t catch your death. You seem fine, though. Once you pass your health checks again, you get to take your horses and your princess and run for whichever border you’d like. You won’t escape us, but you’re invited to try.”

“Evasion scenario without any surprises?”

“We’re going to send Eddie with you, as three against the entirety of the Texan RPS seems like better odds than just the two of you. Eddie won’t be wired, but we’ll be able to track his phone in case of an emergency.”

The Texan RPS allowing Eddie out from under their heel would do wonders for the young man and prepare him for his journey to California. “I’m all right with that if Olivia is.”

“I’m great with it. It was my idea to bring Eddie along for the ride. Three is safer than two, especially since we’re riding new horses. It minimizes the chances that all of us are incapacitated in an accident. He probably has some good ideas on how to evade the other Texans. We’ll be camping in hotels for most of the trip, but we might make use of a royal ranch or two along the way. And they’re going to sweep our room for scorpions.”

“Small blessings,” I muttered, forcing myself to straighten. My back complained, but I ignored the discomfort, aware the day’s activities would leave me sore until tomorrow at the earliest. “What’s the official diagnosis?”

“For what? You checking out for a while? Hypothermia is the primary cause, although overexposure to crustaceans is taking some of the blame. You shut down after a while. You became too physically fatigued to continue being terrified of the tank’s occupants, and that was when the hypothermia started causing trouble. I’ll admit that we took advantage of your state to get the tank drained and rescue its inhabitants without terrorizing you further. One of our flameweavers warmed you up, got you nice and cozy, and kept you dazed until we were ready to rouse you.”

“Thank you for that.” I eyed one of the nearby containers filled with crabs. “How are you going to keep those monstrosities alive so you can eat them all? That’s too many, Olivia.”

The princess laughed, and she hugged me. “I’m not going to eat them all. A bunch will go to aquariums, and we’ve already reached out to New York to get them set up with a large tank in the palace for the lobsters. Wewillbe eating some of them tonight for dinner, however. Physician’s orders. Well, assuming you aren’t allergic.”

“I don’t think I’m allergic,” I said. “I’m not sure I want to participate in this exercise, though.”

So far, the crustaceans had won, and my pride had taken enough blows for one month.

“It’s revenge, Terry. They terrified you, so you’re going to eat them. You will make them fear you.”

“I’m not sure that’s how this works.” However, if she wanted me to try to face the phobia head on and attempt to eat a crab, I would indulge her. I found the container with the king crabs and pointed at it. “From my understanding of these monsters, those are worthy of a princess like yourself, so you should start there. Those things also look like the demons of the crustacean world. If I can handle those on a plate in a cooked state, maybe I can handle the rest.”

“See? You’re already doing better. You’re not nearly as terrified as you were earlier.” Olivia gave me another hug, arranged my hair to her liking, and kissed my forehead, something she’d started doing within a month of my wife’s death upon figuring out I appreciated the gesture. “See, you’re all right. You can teach those scary crabs who the boss is.”

“I’m pretty sure they were the boss today.” I bowed my head and sighed. “That was not one of my better moments. Defeated by a bunch of crabs.”

“More like defeated by a bunch of rowdy royals.” Olivia laughed, took hold of my hand, and guided me away from the containers. “Let’s get you warmed up outside away from all this trauma. I’d rather not find out if you won’t stay numb to being surrounded by your worst enemies.”

As I agreed with her, I followed her out of the warehouse, squinting when the sun hit my face. According to its placement in the sky, I’d lost the vast majority of the day and had missed lunch. “Do you think the royal physicians that attempted to murder me with crabs will allow me to eat fast food?”

Olivia giggled, and she nodded. “You’ve got to be starving. Still, I’m sorry people got rambunctious. I didn’t think anyone would do something like that for me. And they’re celebrating I canbreathe, Terry. I don’t think anybody has even seen my picture yet. Every time someone has gotten out a camera, I start to cry.”

I checked my pocket, located the clicker, and retrieved it, holding it up for her to see before adding a count to her tally. “You were beautiful before they fixed your nose so you can breathe, and you’re beautiful after. You’re still you, Olivia. Having a functional nose does not change you beyond enabling you to breathe. Being breathing enabled is quite important. And I meant what I said about rolling your brother through the mud if he doesn’t like it.”

“Hey! I hadn’t said anything bad.”

“Maybe you didn’t say anything bad, but you were thinking it,” I countered, waving the clicker at her. “You deserve a functioning nose, and anyone who saysanythingbad about you for being breathing enabled deserves a beatdown. I’m lazy, so I’ll let your brother handle the beatdown, but I’ll provide a fancy little cocktail so you can have a drink while you watch the show.”

“You are hardly lazy, Terry. I totally believe my brother is willing to beat anybody making comments about my face, though. He’s always been like that. He’s never actually done it, but he’s thought about it.”

“I will demonstrate that I am capable of being lazy for the cause.” I rolled my shoulders and winced at the creaks and pops. “Can you abuse your rank as a royal and get us a room with a jet tub?”

I’d learned my lesson early on; when I’d suggested she escape to spare herself from my illness, she’d taken severe offense to it. We would be sharing a room the entire time we were in Texas. After the morning’s scenario, I doubted she’d let me out of her sight for more than a few minutes at a time.

I didn’t mind.

Olivia laughed. “I’m sure we can manage to handle your back. I was warned you’d come out of that more than a little sore. Between them about giving you a heart attack plus being handcuffed like that, I’m amazed you can walk.”

“You find my suffering funny,” I complained, and I attempted to pout, became rather confused on what I was supposed to make my face do to get the message across, and grunted my displeasure over my general failure to handle the task.

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