Page 33 of Iron Unicorn

I laughed, gave my new horse a pat on her neck, and swung into the saddle. The mare lifted her head and her ears pricked forward, and she turned enough to regard me with a pale eye. I reassured her with a pat and praised her before settling in the saddle and relaxing. “Please tell me they aren’t going to be doing any scenarios.”

“There won’t be any more scenarios today. It’s a safety hazard. And you did better than they expected, so you are getting a reward for a job well done.”

“And my horses’ names?” I prompted.

“The mare is Your Mileage Will Vary. The stallion is Fudge. It’s not ‘Fuck’ because his kids were around when Fudge was giving him trouble.”

I broke into laughter at the thought of the Texan king cursing at one of his young, beloved horses. “Let me guess. She was cowering in a corner and someone asked what he planned to do with such a skittish animal?”

“That’s a good guess, and I’m betting you’re right. We’ll ask him next time we see him. We’ll come up with sensible names for our horses after we reach our campsite. I asked for potatoes to go with our steak.”

I could handle roasting potatoes at the campfire, especially if we had access to butter. “How far is the camp?”

Olivia pointed across the parking lot. “There is a trail over there. We’ll go until some bored RPS agent points us in the right direction. I mean, we could make a run for it while they’re trying to free your captive prizes from their cage.”

“Well, nobody told meIcan’t.” Laughing, I nudged my new mare closer to Fudge, leaned over, and freed his reins. Once the stallion fell into line with me, I looped the leather around the saddle horn. “If we end up with foals on the way, it isnotmy fault. I was not the one who decided two mares and a stallion on a trail ride was a good idea.”

“That might be a problem if our ladies hadn’t recently been bred,” Olivia replied with a rather lopsided grin. “There’s nothing for your poor boy to fuss over, especially since he’s the sire.”

The Texan king was going to drive me insane long before I made it back to New York. “That’s one way to handle that problem. But I only picked this horse last night, Olivia. He didn’t breed her yesterday, did he?”

“No. They’re both about a month along, and they’ve been confirmed as successfully bred. All the mares you had to choose from were bred already. He just wanted to trick you into accepting a two-for-one special. He had your RPS history pulled for horses, and he feels you deserve numerous horses for basically having a foundational stud for the Montana lines.”

“He’s a very good horse,” I informed Olivia in a solemn tone. “And he deserves to enjoy his time out at pasture. I am the proud grandfather of many RPS horses. And they’re all good horses.”

“Even the ones that are out for the blood of their riders?”

I gave the woman a solemn nod. “Those ones might be the best of the lot. My horse is alegend.”

“At least of the stud books,” she conceded. “I do not know how you got away without getting a new RPS horse for so long.”

“I couldn’t take a horse with me when I was assigned to my queen initially. That factored.”

“Well, now you have two good horses, and you will teach those New Yorkers why they should join us in having horses for every RPS agent. Our way is the way.”

“Have you been to New York City, Olivia?” I shook my head at the idea of trying to find a place to put so many horses in the area. “Space is an issue.”

“Recruit the New Yorkers to level a few buildings, then you’ll have all the space you need.”

It worried me that the New Yorkers might if given a single excuse. Most of them needed an outlet for their frustrations. My queen rising to her position as the leading monarch had done a great deal of good, but the entire royal family remained broken and in dire need of therapy.

My queen recovered, and she was well on her way towards becoming a vibrant, happy woman.

The rest of the royal family struggled with coming to terms with everything that had put my queen on the New York throne.

“Let’s not mention such things where a New Yorker might hear us. They might do just that. I am not up for trying to handle such a disaster.” I gave my new mare a squeeze with my legs, and she shuffled into a smooth walk. The stallion followed along without a fuss.

Olivia brought her mare alongside mine, and she waved at a cluster of RPS agents.

The resignation on their faces amused me, as I understood the reason for it.

They preferred when the bodies they guarded moved at their whim. I joined her in waving, chuckling at their dismay when they realized I, the sickly agent supposed to be recovering, had plenty of energy and will to go on a ride rather than make use of one of their many vehicles. “Right now, they’re wishing they had a scenario planned. Scenarios comfort them. They are living one of their personal versions of hell right now. A royal and a rogue RPS agent are riding off on their own.”

“You’re not a rogue RPS agent, Terry.”

“I’m not working, I’m stealing horses, and I’m going off to do what I want. I think it should count.” I gestured at my dusty clothes. “I’m even dressed in casual attire. You could take a picture, and my parents wouldneverbelieve for an instant I would do this. I’m not wearing a suit, Olivia.”

Olivia dug out her phone from her pocket and pointed it at me. Aware she liked having photographs, I posed for her while she took pictures, making sure my posture was good and that my new horse turned her head to be better angled for the shot. I praised the mare, halting long enough for her to process our odd behavior. Once she finished her chewing, I gave her a squeeze to move her along.

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