Page 19 of Iron Unicorn

Damn it. That I slept through her coping with her changed appearance bothered me so much I decided I’d skip anything leisurely. “Give me five minutes to take a shower and get dressed, and then you can fill me in.”

“I’m recovering from dysphoria, Terry. It’s not the end of the world. According to the nice people Pat brought in, I have some severe psychological issues with acceptance. Apparently, I feel that everyone will hate me now that my face is not a disaster.”

“Your face was never a disaster, Olivia.”

“Oh, Terry. It was a disaster. It’s okay to acknowledge my face was the definition of a disaster. You know the charts showcasing the prettiest royalty in the world? I was at rock bottom. I scored well on my personality, but there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging I was disfigured. I won’t be topping the charts for being the most beautiful royal on the block, but Rachel thinks I might make the top ten. I’m not sure what I think about that.”

To me, she’d always take the top spot, but I wouldn’t tell her that. After having my pride defeated at the paws of tigers, I opted to take the safe route. “Obviously, I’ll need to get a clicker and count how many times it takes you to accept your new state as one of the more beautiful royals in the world.”

Olivia stared at me with her eyes wide, blinking like a startled owl ready to take flight. I mimed clicking the counter before heading to the dresser to locate some clothes. I determined someone had eradicated anything dealing with a suit, resulting in me being forced to dress like a rancher rather than a self-respecting RPS agent. Resigned to the situation, I swore to keep my complaints to myself and hunt for a suit at the first possible moment.

It took me closer to twenty minutes to restore functionality, and after waking up, I determined my throat ached and coughing fits came without warning. Fortunately for my sanity, my sinuses remained clear. Dressed in a button-up denim shirt and jeans, I emerged from the bathroom, went on a hunt for socks, and upon failing to find any, headed into the sitting room to discover Rachel keeping company with the Texan monarchs, Quincy, and two Texan RPS agents I didn’t know.

“Where are your agents, Rachel?” I asked, going through the room in search of socks. “Olivia, where are my socks?”

“If you don’t have socks, you won’t leave the room,” the princess informed me. “As such, there are no socks or shoes anywhere for you to wear. You are trapped here until I say otherwise.”

All right. If the recovering Montana princess wanted to play at being a kidnapper during her recovery, I could go with her flow. “Am I even capable of going anywhere?” I gestured at my clothes. “Not in these clothes, ma’am.”

Everyone laughed at me, and Amisha came over to receive her fair share of attention. Crouching, I went to work petting the tiger and giving her a kiss on her nose. “Thank you for keeping me warm, Amisha.”

She chuffed, mouthed at my hand, and once she finished tasting my flesh, she nuzzled me.

“My agents are meeting with the Texans so they can be more effective. They seem to think with Jessica and Pat in the room that I couldn’t be safer even if they tried. With you utterly helpless and defenseless? There are four royals in here more than happy to make use of magic on your behalf. Fort Knox has nothing on us right now. How are you feeling?”

“Contagious,” I muttered.

My queen laughed at me. “You’re not contagious. That was a requirement before I was allowed to invade Texas. You had stress-induced pneumonia. Apparently, you probably swallowed something wrong, it got lodged in your lungs, and stress finished you off. Then you coughed yourself hoarse, so your throat hurts and you’re coughing. You’re fine. You may have also had a cold, but if you did, it has run its course. I applaud your perfect timing for developing an illness. It gave Olivia something to do while she recovered. The doctors were not prepared for her being a ball of energy, but she bounced in here rather than terrorizing the entirety of Texas.”

Olivia giggled, grabbed hold of my arm, and hauled me to the empty armchair, making shooing motions at me until I sat. “It’s true. Apparently, unrestricted oxygen and my level of physical fitness equates to an abundance of energy. The painkillers have been perfect. I touched my nose today, and it didn’t hurt at all. Before you worry, the doctors told me to touch my nose. I go through imagery tomorrow to confirm everything is okay, but everything seems fine. Then I have to spend a ridiculous amount of time looking in the mirror as part of therapy. We are hoping you’re feeling well enough to go to the appointment, but Pat and Jessica will go with me if you can’t.”

Before I could confirm I would be going, King Patrick of Texas cleared his throat and said, “Your blood oxygen levels will determine if you’ll be making the trip, Terry. You were lower than anyone appreciates, so unless your numbers look good, you’ll stay here while Rachel keeps an eye on you. The testing will only take an hour. I’m sure you’ll survive an hour of some relative peace and quiet.”

“My tigers and I shall be going down the hall to my suite, where we will impose most cruelly upon Ethan. You’ll be left alone to fend for yourself. I’ve determined your blood oxygen levels are clearly too low for you to leave the hotel.”

I turned my gaze to Quincy, who laughed at my expression. “Nobody is getting by the security in the hall. You can enjoy a true hour of peace and quiet tomorrow without anyone around. You’ve been down for a week, which means you’ll need to go through a physical therapy plan before returning to duty. A plan has been decided for you.”

I winced at the idea of having to go through physical therapy, but I also understood the necessity of it. Even a week in bed could pillage a hefty amount of muscle mass. As one of the older agents in the RPS, I’d have twice as much work ahead of me to get fit. “All right. What sort of plan?”

“We’re goingriding,” Olivia declared.

Well, if they wanted me going through a physical therapy plan, a riding venture would do the job. “Where are we riding?”

“We are going to be doing a controlled evasion scenario. You and me versus the entirety of the Texan RPS. Each morning, after you go through your health checks, we will be given a head start. If we make it to our destination for the night, we win. How well we evade them determines if we get to go camping or have to stay at a hotel. If our horses get tired, we’ll have spares to switch to. You’re going to meet your new horse for this ride.”

Right. I’d been kidnapped and taken to Texas. As Olivia wasn’t in line for the throne thanks to a healthy succession, the RPS could allow such a venture. With my talents available, Olivia’s skills, and the RPS hovering, we would be in more danger from our horses discovering a new variant of terrifying leaf than anything else. It had been a while since I’d done any serious riding, but I would remember in a hurry—and Olivia would remind me.

With her nose fixed, she’d likely ride in circles around me the entire trip.

Her declaration also explained my current clothing. “Let me guess. No suits.”

Olivia nodded. “That’s right, Terry. No suits. I have been instructed to acclimate you to casual attire. Should we escape from the RPS sufficiently, you will earn back your right to wear suits.”

I turned a baleful glare in the direction of my queen, who beamed at my displeasure. “I am the tyrant who informed the Texans about your clothing sizes upon hearing you are being treated to a trail ride across the kingdom. While you are riding around, I will be doing all those royal things I need to do when visiting another kingdom. Ethan’s going to be meeting some horses once you’re on your way.”

If Ethan got a horse, my queen would be riding often. As it would improve her mental and physical health, I would encourage it. “That sounds like an excellent use of time. Jessica?”

One day, I would get used to using only a monarch’s first name. I feared the Texans might train me to not even think twice about it. Today? I resisted the urge to involve their title when I addressed them.

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