Page 3 of Trickster King

She giggled. “I really did, too.”

“Are you going to let me know if we’re having a boy or a girl this time or will I have to wait for the delivery?” I never knew with my wife, and I left the final decision to her. All I cared about was Jessica and our baby being happy and healthy.

“They made me go through an ultrasound today,” she whined.

I breathed a relieved sigh. Had something gone wrong, an RPS agent would have been knocking at my door to let me know immediately. The first ultrasound of a pregnancy took miracles to make happen; Jessica ran away to avoid it. I suspected she feared she’d be told she had the same cancer that had killed her mother rather than the desired news about our baby. “I’m proud you went.”

“I’m a lot sicker than normal so my agents dragged me in kicking and screaming. I literally kicked and screamed, but I didn’t use my talent because I didn’t want to accidentally hurt the baby.”

I froze, and my heart skipped a beat before going into overdrive. “You are? Why?”

If something had been wrong, the RPS would have sent someone to warn me. Nobody had even knocked on my door, not even to tell me she’d gone in for an ultrasound, which told me one thing: nothing was wrong.

I waited for my wife to tell me what was going on, holding my breath.

“I have two fucking babies stealing my food and leaving none for me!”

My brows shot up, my mouth dropped open, and I spluttered. My wife kept cursing, although I heard little of her tirade. “You’re pregnant with twins?”

“They’re food-thieving tyrants. They are not children. They aren’t twins. They are food-thieving tyrants. You may refer to them as such.”

Okay. Pregnancy with one child drove my wife to the limits of her patience. What would two do to her? How would she deliver two when one exhausted her? Rather than express my worries for her and our babies, I asked, “And how is my beautiful wife and our food-thieving tyrants doing?”

“Your beautiful wife is okay. They checked for any sign of cancer and found nothing, but I’m a little underweight because of our food-thieving tyrants. I am being forced to go home so the father of the food-thieving tyrants can feed us. They can’t tell if they’re identical, but their official due date is Laurette’s birthday. If they haven’t arrived by then, I’ll be induced that morning. I was not given an option in that, as they are big boys and I’m not that big of a woman. There’s talk of a C-section if they keep growing worse than weeds.”

I grimaced at the thought of a C-section as it was something Jessica adamantly did not want. We’d both been present for that talk. If she underwent a C-section, it would likely become a full hysterectomy to prevent her mother’s cancer from being able to make an appearance.

Exactly nobody in our family liked that option, but had her mother undergone a full hysterectomy rather than the bare minimum, she might have lived a longer and happier life.

The royal physicians refused to make the same mistake with Jessica that they’d made with her mother.

I took several calming breaths, forced myself to focus on the doctor’s order for her to come home, and swore I would not have one of my stereotypical freakouts until after I had all the relevant and important information. “Are you all right with this?”

“The food-thieving tyrants are on notice that they will peacefully make their escape into the world no later than Laurette’s birthday. We have already set up a betting pool. I am betting I will go into labor naturally two days before but the little tyrants won’t show up until one in the morning on Laurette’s birthday just so they force us to have three children born on the same day. The C-section risk is low but present.”

Yep. I needed a vacation, but I wanted to take my wife with me. “I should be sorry about this but I’m not. I am sorry they’re not girls, though. I know you were hoping for another daughter.”

“We have Deidre and Laurette. It’s okay. How’s our herd doing?”

I peeked into the silent cushion fort. Laurette remained nestled in her car seat, her favorite sleeping spot, while the rest of our children slept where they’d passed out in mid-play. “I managed accidental nap time. They’re all asleep.”

“What sort of sorcery have you been performing on our children?”

I chuckled. “I’ve been an amusing toy for them. Unlike me, they can sleep at their whim. Consider yourself warned, Jessica. I am going to flee for a period of at least five days to fortify myself for the arrival of our food-thieving tyrants. I will not give you any additional warnings I will be doing this. I will be expecting my wife to chase me, and upon her successful capture of my person, I am expecting to be properly disciplined.”

There. Making my intentions known would rile my wife up, and if luck was with me, I’d be able to take the vacation I needed.

My wife grunted, a surefire sign she would lose her temper if I pushed her on whatever she was about to demand of me. “I will be home in two hours, and if you pull that before I’m back and have dinner, you’re a dead man.”

I rolled my eyes at her assumption I’d run off right upon learning she was pregnant with twins. “I will not plan nor implement my escape until I have had a chance to recruit the children we’re raising to help me with my task. You will pretend you know nothing of any escape plans.”

“Take Geoff with you,” my wife ordered. “Only then will I agree to such a horrible plan.”

Well, that simplified my life. “Do I get to count it as a kidnapping? I’ve been through so many scenarios now that I feel my pride demands retaliation. Geoff has to count as the top prize among RPS agents to kidnap, possibly second only to Randy. Randy might win just because he’s the head of my detail. But Geoff is a top trophy for certain.”

“You absolutely can count it as a kidnapping. You can grab Randy, too. I’ll talk to their wives so they’re aware of what you’re planning. Try to earn their cooperation when you plan your escape. I’m sure their wives will keep quiet. I don’t want them to worry while their agents are in your custody. Consider this part of your birthday, Christmas, and anniversary present for at least three years.”

“I was going to recruit the kids without warning you initially,” I admitted.

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