He had destroyed Charles. But he would not destroy Seraphina. Not the woman…the woman heloved.
Hugo’s heart wrenched and quivered in his chest as he accepted the truth. He loved her. Loved her for her kindness. For how she tried to break past his barriers and truly know him. He loved her. And he needed to protect her. Even from himself.Especiallyfrom himself.
Pain consumed him as he took another staggering step away, followed by self-hatred as he realized what he needed to do to protect the woman he loved. Hugo dressed slowly, each drag of the fabric over his skin like torture as his gaze remained fixed on his wife. He’d give her Merrivale. He knew she didn’t want to return to London and his home had become her safe haven away from her mother and the ton’s vicious tongues. He loathed the idea of living in the city, but he’d do it if it meant knowing that Seraphina was in her place of peace.
Once dressed Hugo tried to leave the room, but he stayed there for a long moment, unable to move, unable to look away from the person who had brought life back to him. Who he couldn’t bear to leave.
But he had to. He had to if he wanted to keep her safe. Every muscle, bone, and tendon screamed at him to stop as Hugo finally turned from her as the dim light of the night slowly brightened into dawn. Ignoring it all, he stoically opened the door, and went down to his study to wait.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“There you are,” Seraphina said, smiling as she finally found Hugo.
Though she was a tad disheartened by waking up alone, she had put it behind her and dressed quickly. She wanted nothing more than to get back to their life in Merrivale.
Hugo turned away from the hearth upon hearing her voice, giving her a straight-faced look that instantly made her panic.
“I am glad to see you are ready to go as I am,” she ventured, nodding toward the gray dawn light from the window. “I know it is early but I thought we could skip breakfast and leave straight away. I already have maids wrapping up some ham and bread for our ride.”
A look of pain passed along Hugo’s face before he turned away from her again, making her heart stop. Something was definitely wrong.
“I’m not going,” he murmured, keeping his eyes focused on the fire.
Seraphina staggered as she took a step forward, confusion and hurt hurdling through her.
“What? Do not be silly. Of course you are going. You want to be back in Merrivale just as much as I do.”
“I will stay here,” Hugo replied, his tone growing insistent. “You may stay at Merrivale as long as you wish. It is your home now. I want you where are you happy.”
Seraphina hurried toward him, but when she tried to put a hand on Hugo’s shoulder he stepped away, putting the space of the room between them.
“I owe you an apology, Seraphina.” Hugo stated, avoiding her gaze. “It was never right for me to pursue you. To change you. You had a clear path to what you wanted and in my selfishness I took you from that.”
“I do not understand this,” Seraphina whispered, feeling a pain slice through her chest. “What are you speaking of? We have already discussed this, you are whom I wanted!”
“And you have now had me,” he snarled, making her flinch. “You are established as my wife with our consummation and you are now free to live as you please. Away from London and everythingelse that surrounds your past. That is what I promised and that is what I have given. A life without anyone pressuring you.”
Seraphina’s mind tumbled back to the night she accepted his proposal. Yes, that was all had promised her. Not love, not romance. But freedom from her old life. From society.
“I thought there was more,” she whispered, pressing her hand to stomach.
It roiled angrily, and she suddenly felt as if she were going to retch.
“Obviously there was,” Hugo retorted coldly. “There was no doubt of the desire between us.”
“Was?” She echoed.
“Desire can be taught by many a man, Seraphina,” he went on, “Don’t allow your education to stop simply because I no longer want to teach you.”
Seraphina felt her throat close up as tears welled in her eyes.
“You don’t…you don’t want me anymore? Now that you- now that we have—why?” She demanded, tears trekking down her cheeks. “Why did you do this? Any of this, if you did not want me?”
A look of remorse flickered through Hugo’s eyes before he cleared his throat and looked away.
“You said it yourself, Seraphina. I have an urge to protect the weak. The helpless. This time I simply took it too far.”
Her very breath felt stolen from her as she opened her mouth. She couldn’t inhale, couldn’t exhale. Just tremble as her legs threatened to buckle beneath her.