Page 73 of Duke of Chaos

She had almost lost him in this room. Ezra caught her looking around worriedly and pulled her into his arms.

“There is no one here,” he assured her.

But, when she looked up into his eyes he nodded in understanding, and silently went about the room, looking through all possible hiding spots until she was satisfied.

“This is my fault,” he said tiredly, taking a seat on his bed. “All of it.”

Lydia felt her heart ache as she saw the self-hatred in his eyes and went to him.

“No,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Do not blame yourself.”

Ezra pulled her away just enough to look her in the eyes, and a knot formed in her stomach.

“I have ruined you.”

Lydia shook her head, taken aback by the statement.

“What on earth are you talking about?” she asked. “I am not ruined!”

“You were pure. Before me, you were pure and good. Now you’re threatening to stab people and are hitting people over the head with vases.”

Before Lydia could respond, Ezra said, “According to George, my mother used to be just like you.Justlike you before my father twisted her into who she is now. And I…I have done the same to you.”

“Ezra,no,” she insisted, tightening her grip on his shoulders.

“I do not love as others do, I do notfeelas others do,” Ezra went on, shaking his head. “I will destroy you as my father destroyed my mother, and Lydia, I will not have it. I will not destroy you.”

Panic seized her as Ezra moved her so he could stand, and then gently pulled her hands from him.

“You cannot…”

I am in love with you, Lydia,” Ezra cut her off, his tone vehement, “And I will not be responsible for breaking you.”

He went to move away, but before Lydia could think clearly, she panicked, her hand shot out and she slapped him.

Ezra stood in front of Lydia, stunned. Her hit was the softest he had ever taken in his life and yet it had rattled him to his bones.

“No,”Lydia said adamantly, pushing at his chest. The back of his legs hit the edge of the bed, his weakened right leg faltering, and he sat down hard.

Hurt, fear, and anger were written plainly across her beautiful face, and he felt the weight of his decision compound.Look at her. You are right.

“This is not you,” he protested.

“It is your turn to be quiet now,” Lydia snapped back, using his own words from the previous night against him.

“This marriage has been…a paradox,” she admitted, keeping her eyes trained on him, “We went into this union as a business deal, but Ezra, you and I havebothchanged since then. Not just me, and you know it.”

“Yes,” he admitted begrudgingly.

He had changed in many ways. Not just by finally finding relief from his detachment and rage, but in the way he touched Lydia and thought of her. He had never been so obsessed with a woman. With sexual acts with women? Always. Puberty had hit him hard when he was young, and his desire had only grown since. But not a specific woman.

“And as for yourmother,” Lydia laughed mockingly, “I meant what I said, yes, but I would have done it for Juliet or Alice or any of the others as well because I spent too much of my life enduring and far too little protesting.”

She paused to take a steadying breath, her features softening.

“It was you, Ezra, who showed me that I could take charge of my life and protect my loved ones. When you accepted my deal no one, not even my father, believed I could help you. Yet you did. I do not necessarily want to stab anyone, and I did say it partly in jest, but I will love you and protect you forever for bestowing that upon you.”

“I have always believed in you,” Ezra replied quickly, unable to help himself. “From the moment you made your wager in my office I knew you would win. Even if I changed the rules of the game, you would find a way to succeed. And you have.”

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