Page 59 of Bound to a Wicked Duke

“There is no need, Mother. All is well.”

“Nevertheless, I shall return,” the Countess promised before leaving the room with her husband.

Cecil moved to sit on the side of her bed. He took her hand in his. “Is this because of me?” His eyes were filled with shame and concern.

Madeleine shook her head. “I simply forgot to eat. I was upset and did not eat or drink anything.”

“Dr. Moberly said that you had not been eating enough for some time.”

“That is true, but this had nothing to do with that. I will do better in the future., I promise.”

“Percy told me of the end of your courtship. I assume that is what upset you.”

Madeleine did not meet his eyes. She did not want to admit to the truth. “It is not his fault,” she attempted to reassure him.

“It is his fault. I blame him for this.”

“Do not blame him. He was clear in his terms of our courtship. I am the one who has violated them.”

“Terms?”

“He was honest about his curse and that he would never love me and that I should not love him. It is I who broke the agreement.”

“You love him,” Cecil remarked. It was not a question but a realization. “You went into your courtship knowing that he could never love you, and yet you did so anyway.” His eyes showed his thought process as his mind leapt from one conclusion to the other. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“I did not wish to wed the man of Father’s choice.”

“Herbert Mowbray,” Cecil nodded in understanding. “A good enough title from father’s perspective, I suppose, but he isnot the man for you. I have always found him to be weak-willed, even to the point of cowardice at times. His gambling habits alone would leave you penniless once he came into his inheritance. I would not have any sister of mine wed to such a man.”

“Indeed,” Madeleine agreed. “Percy was a known entity. He was safe, or so I thought. I never planned to fall in love with him. Loving him is quite inconvenient.”

Cecil chuckled in spite of himself. He gave his sister a sympathetic look. “I am sorry that you are feeling such pain. I had always hoped for a love match for you as our mother and father so enjoy. My objection to your match with Percy was based off that wish. I knew that he could never allow himself to love you, and that if he did, he would leave you to keep you from experiencing danger.”

“I do not believe in his curse.”

“Nor do I, but death surrounds him regardless of my beliefs. I did not wish for you to be a part of that dark shadow. When you fainted, I was afraid that the curse was indeed real.”

Madeleine shook her head. “I am not a victim of any curse other than that of my own heart and mind.”

Cecil gave her a sympathetic look. “Shall I speak with him on your behalf? Perhaps beat some sense into him?”

Madeleine laughed. “I thank you for the offer, but no. I do not wish for you to speak with him or to beat him.”

“The offer remains open,” Cecil reassured her, patting her hand. “Just say the word.”

“I appreciate it.” She smiled fondly at her brother. “Now go so that I can rest before Mother returns to fuss over me.”

Nodding, Cecil rose, kissed her on the forehead, and left her to rest in peace.

Madeleine turned her eyes to the window, watching the birds flit about, enjoying the sunshine. She had always believed herself to be a free bird, just as they were, but she felt trapped in a gilded cage, longing for the freedom to do as she wished. Now all that she could think about was Percy and the absence of him from her life. She did not understand how her mind and heart could have been so changed.

His words from the ball echoed through her mind. She knew that he was right. She would not be able to hold off her father for long. Now that he knew that her and Percy’s courtship was over, he would waste no time in attempting to marry her off to Herbert Mowbray. Where her father saw stability, she saw boredom. Where her father saw amiability, she saw spinelessness. Where her father saw tradition, she saw a prison. It was a terrible match, and she was as determined as ever to avoid it.

Perhaps Percy was right. Perhaps I should consider marrying Hamish MacElroy. He would never force himself upon me if I refused to allow him into our marriage bed. I could find ways to avoid conceiving a child. Hamish would not despise me for it. He is an intellectual man. He would understand. He is not a drunkard or gambler nor is he a coward or weak of will. He is pleasing to look upon and is as muscular as Percy. Perhaps he could help me to forget the feel of Percival Hardy’s hands and mouth upon my body.

She doubted that anything could remove the memory of the Duke of Greyhall, from his hands to his mouth to his eyes, as the man had infiltrated every aspect of her being down to her very soul, but she prayed with all of her strength that it would be so. She prayed with all of her heart, mind, and spirit that she would somehow forget the only man that she had ever loved.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

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