Page 9 of Contrition

And a blazing lightning bolt connecting them both.

My sunshine filled brother and my star of a soulmate—tethered together from the destruction of lightning labeled as myself.

I could never let either of them go.

And Theo was full of shit for even suggesting he could let her go.

She was ours. She was our evolution.

Estrella had consumed us both for so long, even when we were immature and wanted to play tug-a-war with her soul, that she literally became the name of our entire career.

From Stars to Evolution.

I knew better than to think he would ever let her go. Especially after so many years and shared conversations. If she even gave me a chance, yet ignored him—he would be in pain for the rest of his life.

While I had considered my star as my soulmate…it took nearly a decade to discover that maybe a soul could belong to two people and still be happy—if she could allow herself that pleasure and contentment, too.

As I met the eyes of my younger brother, I questioned how life had to be so ironic and yet torturous. His eyebrows were pinched in worry as he stared back at me, likely already accepting the rejection that would never come, and my head ached as the words flew out of my mouth with no hesitation. “Hurting her was the biggest mistake of my life. I’m not going to hurt her again. And for what I’ve put her through—what we’ve both gone through—she deserves love from us both, if she’ll even accept it. So, if I have to share her with anyone—it’ll be you, brother. We all deserve a chance to be happy now.”

His shoulders sagged in relief.

Yeah, I still wanted to punch him. Regardless of how true my words were.

I continued as I stood up. “You’re the one who has to explain everything to Sophie and the guys, though. Starting from the beginning. I’m not going to be the one to tell them that our entire persona is pretty much built over the love of my life thatyoumade me toss away. And that we both have to beg for.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s fair. Yes, sir.” His eyes followed me as I grabbed my wallet from the table and headed for one of the private bedrooms that housed our band. Our band, that somehow, knew absolutely nothing about any of this damn mess. It was a damned miracle. “Where are you going?”

I slammed the door behind me as I spoke. “I’ve been celibate for eight damn years, and my wife will be here in twenty-four hours. I’m jerking off until my balls turn into raisins so I don’t bust in my jeans just at the sight of her.”

His resounding laugh was loud as fuck. “Hey, I’ve been celibate for two years, too. You think I should do the same?”

I ignored him as I laid down in bed.

I had no intention of touching myself, in all actuality. I didn’t give a fuck if that even did happen.

Instead, I was going to scroll through social media and photo galleries to stare at my star in peace.

And also pray she would give me—give us—one last shot. One chance to prove to her that we were both profoundly sorry, but that we would also do anything to keep her.

Even if I had to grovel like hell.

four

THEO

“Alright, boys!” I clapped my hand as I met the eyes of everyone in our band. They landed on Zack first, and I watched as he anxiously scanned the tents of arriving assistants, photographers, and fellow musicians that had yet to check in—likely searching for her, even when we didn’t know when exactly she would arrive. Shaking my head, I tore my gaze away from him and landed on Elijah, Alex, and Tyler instead. At least they would be focused enough for a little speech. Even if the back of my neck prickled with how badly I wanted to join Zack in his anxious searching, too. “As you all know, we’re a headliner for Saturday night. Generally, we stick to a specific set list for festivals. But I wanted to let you all know that we will likely be adding a song from our unreleased album into the mix now as a teaser. Are you all confident with that? Or do we need to have some practice rounds?”

Tyler was the first one to throw a barb. “You do know it’s Thursday afternoon, right? Why are we worrying about Saturday night?”

Elijah answered that one for me. “Because we’re pros, you dumbass. He needs to know if we need a soundcheck or rehearsal before we’re in front of thousands of people.”

Alex spoke next as he tapped his drumsticks against his own thighs. The guy was always trying to find new melodies to pair with future lyrics. “You mean the album about?—”

“Shut up,” I interrupted, clapping firmly. My smile had malice in it as I stared at him. He meant no harm in asking any question, but I had no idea when Estrella would arrive—if she would even arrive today—and I absolutely did not need her to overhear what orwhoour unreleased album was about. Especially after the lovely chat I had with everyone mere hours ago. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Alex rolled his eyes into a squint as he spoke next. “Alright. Morse code it is, I guess. We’ve played those songs dozens of times. Probably more than needed for any rehearsal. I think we’ll be just fine.”

Finally, Zack spoke, and I nearly sighed in relief that the pressure was being taken off me. Even if I was somehow the happiest and most optimistic person in the damn band—I was still freaking out on the inside, too. This weekend could literally make or break our entire existence, and the only person who understood that was Zack. Having everyone’s eyes on me didn’t help that in the slightest. “We’ll still probably practice the day-of. Theo and I are going back and forth on which two we want to play, though, but we’ll let you guys know as soon as possible. That cool?”

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