Page 6 of Becoming Monsterous

"There is another—but I can't with good conscience recommend it... although it is more likely to work to remove Aphrodite from your body."

"Tell me."

Medusa nods, reaching out to pluck the ball of energy from my hand. It slides into her fingers and settles just above her palm, images of her life before sliding across its busy surface.

"Using this, I can summon my full consciousness. It hasn't yet been destroyed—the summoners don't realize that, of course, but by hiding this little piece, I kept them from fully killing me. The connection between this part of me and the rest means that, now I've left the Shadow World, I should be able to make it whole.

"With that consciousness," she takes a deep breath, as if steadying herself, "I can be fully reborn within your body. You'll have my godhood forever—not just slivers of it, but all of it, down to the immortality and powers over mortals and monsters alike."

"What's the catch?"

"You will never be human again." As if sensing that this doesn't disagree with me, she rushes to explain, "Right now, you still have your own human soul along with mine. That means that if you die, whatever happens to humans when they pass on will happen to you."

"Do you even know what that is?"

"No. But given how the gods loved their second-born children, I have no doubt it's better than the Shadow World, or the rumored nothingness us monsters go to when we die. That goes away if you become a deity. And they can be killed, remember."

I swallow. "Even then..."

"You will have all my memories," she hastens to add. "My entire life will unfold inside you in the blink of an eye, as if you were reborn from my soul. And... though I don't plan on doing so, I will, of course, be capable of possessing you fully.

"You'd be trusting that I'll never do what Aphrodite is doing to you now. That trust would have to last for your entire life as a goddess—centuries, perhaps. Until and unless you find some way to part our souls and consciousnesses, and give up your godhood fully..."

"I'd be giving you all the power and control," I realize with a shiver, "forever."

"Correct."

Her silver eyes hold deep compassion.

At least, as far as I can tell.

I have a choice to make now.

Choosing wrong could cost me everything.

Chapter5

Ellie

"I'll do it. I want you to possess me—to be reborn in me, no matter how risky it is."

"Are you sure?" Medusa flicks her wrist, throwing the ball of energy into the air, where it floats in place. "There's no easy way to undo it. The rebirth will change you forever, even if we're ever able to separate our souls."

"I'm sure. If the alternative is destroying you, after everything you've done to help me... I can't imagine doing that to you."

She reaches out to fold my hands between hers, her sparkling silver eyes full of wisdom and compassion. "I did that because you needed me, not to make you feel like you owed me later. I've lived a long life, Ellie Blackburn, and a long afterlife as well. I'm ready to let go if it comes to that. This is not a decision to make lightly."

Heart pounding, I consider her words, and the weight of this choice. Medusa is right: thisisn'ta decision to make lightly.

But I know what I want. It's frightening to imagine ceding control like that to a powerful deity, but my heart tells me to trust Medusa. So does my head—she hasn't betrayed me so far, and it's unlikely she'll suddenly change who she is in the future.

Besides, from what she's told me, this is the best chance I have at expelling Aphrodite from my body.

If I had free will right now, giving it up would be harder to consider. It's easy to think of leaving it all behind when I won't even be sacrificing anything.

"Aphrodite isn't giving me much of a choice," I point out to Medusa. "If your powers may not be enough to get rid of her—and it sounds like they probably won't be—then your consciousness is a better option. But go over it one more time so I'm certain that I understand."

She does, explaining in painstaking detail how the souls of monsters and deities alike work.

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