Page 4 of Becoming Monsterous

That, and make love to the Minotaur. Maybe while the Sandman watches, or joins in himself.

Gods, I can't believe that I had the opportunity to bang Angus, and I never really took advantage of it. It wouldn't even have been that hard to seduce him. It was so stupid of me to be intimidated and uncertain—clearly he liked me, and he would've been gentle and kind, unlike Aaron.

At least I got to touch him a little, and feel him touch me. At least I slid my hands across his horns as I rode his fingers.

And hey, maybe Aphrodite will slap Aleron for me. Gods knows he could use the attitude adjustment.

My heart hurts even just at the thought of not being around them.

I want so badly to know them. To grow close to them. To find out their hopes, their desires, their fears.

To fully see the monsters beneath the surface and show them that I love them, horns and all. Darkness included.

I feel it all slip away. Numbness radiates through me. My body is no longer mine, physical sensations are gone, but I swear I have pinpricks running up the back of my neck.

All sound fades. Light disappears.

I am nowhere, I am nothing. Formless. Weightless.

Time passes—or doesn't.

It's hard to tell when you're dead.

...

Then. As if it comes from somewhere deep inside me, somewhere I barely knew existed. Warmth radiates from my center and ripples outward.

Sound reverberates from deep within me.

I feel the caress of sunlight on my cheek. Hear the soft lapping of waves on shore. Smell salty ocean water in the air.

Licking my lips, I taste the brine.

"I was hoping that I would be able to reach you."

The voice is familiar, velvety and buttery smooth. I open my eyes and look into Medusa's face.

Her wide flat nose is as I remember it. As is the greenish cast to her richly colored skin.

But I'd never noticed how her thick lips are always curled up just a little in a smile. Or the crinkles beneath her eyes, and sinewy muscle of her arms.

Once, the snakes that moved around her head filled me with curiosity and revulsion. Now I just feel a pang of loneliness and grief. As I near Medusa, I look for Cornelia among the snakes' twining bodies, but I don't see her familiar little head or slanted eyes. Maybe she was only ever mine—born for me, now taken from me forever.

Medusa is perched on a long flat rock that sits at the entrance of the cave, just on this side of its dark, cool interior. Beyond the rock, shale and stone turn to sand, and dark blue water laps at a lonely shore.

I get the sense that the ocean is very far away, but it roars with such life, strikes the sand with such vigor, that I feel as if I should be sprayed with its waves as I sit next to the gorgon deity.

"So I'm dead now," I muse, sliding in next to her warmth. "That's what this is, right? This is death—or a little bit of purgatory or something."

"No." She twists towards me, mouth turned into a frown, and snatches my chin in a warrior's strong grip. "This is your subconscious—deep, deep within your head."

"What?" I blink at her. "I don't remember this, though. Shouldn't my subconscious be like, a buried memory or something? All this is is the dream Morpheus tried to give me of you."

"Ah, yes. That dream." She lets go of my chin and rolls her eyes dramatically, flapping her fingers in the air. "I blocked it and brought you here instead. Unfortunately you weren't quite ready to speak to me—that had to wait until you were in the Shadow World, and more amenable to conversation."

"Oh. So if this wasn't a dream, what was it?"

"A... secret, if you will. One I should never have kept from you, though I can't say that I regret doing it. The truth is, I've been lying to you this whole time. My consciousness wasn't completely gone. A little piece of it survived the summoners' destruction of my body and attempted destruction of my soul, and I buried it... then hid it here, inside of you."

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