Page 11 of Becoming Monsterous

"If they do?" I wring my hands together, questioning whether or not this is the right choice. "What will happen?"

"I'll feel that she's awake, and we'll have forewarning. That's all wecando."

Sensing my distress, Aleron puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently. I stare up into his green-and-red swirling eyes, shocked at his sudden gesture of affection.

"They won't be able to get through the temporal anomaly I'm leaving behind," he tells me, his lips sliding over canine teeth that are justslightlypointed. "You don't have to worry, Ellie. I'll make sure that no one releases her until she dies... and once she does, I hope we all get what we want."

Chapter9

Ellie

My heart squeezes, and I nod, because he looks so trusting. The expression on his face, full of tenderness, is one I've wanted for so long. It feels wrong that I'm deceiving him—especially so soon after I promised myself that I'd never betray my men.

But is this a betrayal? I'm just buying time. Iwillfree them. After all, I'm one of them now. The snakes in my hair and unnatural shimmer to my skin will set me apart forever, even if I do figure out how to shift back into my human form, which Medusa's memories tell me should be possible.

I just don't want to stop looking like the woman Aleron stares at as if she's precious. I don't want to see him curl his lips or sneer, or hear him judge me bitterly. He's been so sweet suddenly, so good—as if all the bitterness was drained out of him the instant I becamelikehim.

Morpheus catches my eyes briefly, and I can tell he knows that I'm stalling for time. But he's going to let me. Maybe he understands why I need to adjust before I throw myself into the next chapter of my new, monstrous life.

As we stride back through the gate and into Occult House again, I take a look back over my shoulder, towards the pile of rocks where Aphrodite's body rests uneasily.

I don't have to squint to see the thread of magic stretching between us. It glows bright as day, thick and unbreakable.

When she dies, her powers will be mine.

For good or for ill.

As we step out into the courtyard, Morpheus somehow manages to be right at my side. He grips my elbow lightly and ushers me away from Angus and Aleron, dipping his head down to murmur something directly into my ear.

Shivers go up my neck and spine at the warmth of his breath and the sound of his voice, so it takes me several long moments to process his words.

"Since being possessed by Aphrodite, and developing whatever connection it is that you have with her, can you sense the power of love around you? Can you see love, like you did when Eros used his arrow?"

I open my mouth to say no, then pause.

There's an energy running between Angus and Aleron. It's a reddish color that has a kind of terracotta tint, andfeelsalmost earthy and wood-scented. The color intensifies as Aleron grumbles and slaps Angus on the back in good humor, his mood elevated substantially since we've returned from the Shadow World.

It's the color of brotherly love, I realize with a start. I don't know how I know that, but somehow I do. This is the kind of love that connects warriors on the battlefield, that drives men forward, swords and shields in calloused hands.

"I can see it," I tell Morpheus cautiously, not wanting him to get his hopes up, "but I don't have her full powers."

"Not yet." He sounds pleased at this development, which worries me. "If Aphrodite is dying slowly, then clearly you'll get them all eventually."

At my raised brow, he adds slowly, "Don't worry. I won't tell the others. I understand why you're not ready to kill her yet—you just became a goddess with one set of powers, after all. Two sets of powers might be too much for anyone."

Not if I somehow find a way to give Medusa her own body, but that's a problem for another day, after we've saved the world from Aphrodite and I've freed my men. I can feel the goddess in the back of my mind and the base of my spine, observing everything, an awareness that feels comforting if a little foreign. She's keeping a respectful distance, and I trust completely that she won't take my free will from me.

The truth is, I could probably take on Aphrodite's powers right now. Hell, Medusa might even be able to help show me the ropes, since she ascended to godhood in an uncertain situation herself. But having the power of love means choosing what to do with it—and I'm not ready for that.

"I'm glad you understand," I tell Morpheus, even though I'm not sure that hedoesfully understand. "It's just... a lot. Seeing love is already so overwhelming. Controlling and creating it might be too much on top of everything else."

"Of course, of course. We'll do plenty of research so you're in a good position when the time is right."

As he smiles at me, I look down and away, unable to stare directly into his silver eyes with a lie sitting in the back of my throat.

It's only as I stare at the tips of my own shoes that I realize what Ihaven'tseen.

There's no love flowing from my men towards me.

---