Page 40 of Alpha Exile

"I can't go any further." Standing in the valley at the foot of our northern mountains, I feel myself sway on my feet, an entirely different kind of exhaustion closing over me. "Niall, you take the pack home. Give them the victory celebration they deserve. Tell Kerry and Cat that we made it... most of us, at least."

Niall gives me a sharp nod, then leans in close, his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I am." I feel Lance's gaze on me, and know he and my other mates are listening closely. "As okay as I can be, at least."

Every beat of my heart forms his name, which is the only thought running through my head.

"I know we're still one down, but—don't lose sight of what you accomplished today." Niall squeezes my shoulder. "The pack will be talking about this battle for years to come. And it's given us the chance to win the war. Delphine will be much easier to face now that she's lost her vampire army. You'll get him back."

"I will." Raising my chin, I recall my promise to the darkness. "I'm not leaving him in there. Which is why I'm going to stay close to the mountains—I don't want to miss him if he... if he comes out."

Whether or not he comes out with his own soul intact.

My heart shudders at the thought, but I force strength into my limbs, refusing to give in to the painful grief that closes tight like a fist around my chest.

"Take care of the pack, Niall."

"Will do." He looks to Lance and the others, telling them, "Take care of her."

Then he's off, shifting into his wolf form and flowing down the mountain path towards the distant Mating Circle. From there he'll lead the warriors to their victory. They'll dine and drink, dance and laugh, celebrating their enemies killed and their pack mates who they saved.

I can't help but think that the celebration will be muted in comparison to the one they would've had if I'd just gotten Roarke out of there in time.

Looking back into the dark entrance into the mountains, I feel an ache in my heart that I'm afraid will never go away. It grows with every beat of my heart, numbness setting in and rippling out to my fingertips and my toes.

Without him, I am lost.

I've lost him, and I'm empty.

"We'll get him back." Kieran comes to stand beside me, a similarly melancholy look on his face. I feel the pain of his sorrow through our mate bond as he stares into the same darkness as me. "If we stay close, maybe we'll see him. Or catch his scent."

"Then what?" My lips are dry, my voice hollow. "She's taken his very soul, Kieran. He might as well be dead."

"We don't know that." His hand brushes against mine, a shock of warmth on my numbed skin. "There's got to be a way to bring him back. As long as he's alive, I have to believe that."

Inhaling deeply, I nod and close my eyes. There are so many tears inside me desperate to be spilled, but I can't let them out. I don't have the time to be weak, to break down and give in to grief.

Instead I have to be strong. For Roarke, for my mates, for the pack. They're all counting on me, and they all need me more than anything.

Delphine is counting on my weakness.

Which is why I have to show her strength and fury. When we track her down and get Roarke—which Ihaveto believe we will do—I'll take the dagger at my hip and show her the same mercy she's shown me: none at all.

First, though, I have to gather that strength. When I look inside myself for some of it, I find an empty well. The power from the fire flowers is gone completely, and I've been without my mate bonds for long enough that they're weak, even with our passionate reunion.

It's going to take more than just a few battlefield kisses and some longing glances to rebuild the well of power within me.

Licking my lips, I open my eyes, slip my hand from Kieran's, and gather my remaining mates together near the entrance to the caverns. Looking over my shoulder at the darkness one last time, I turn my back to it and focus on the future.

"We've got to find another way into the caverns. And if there isn't one—we'll have to make one."

Looking at each of them, I feel all the ways they strengthen and ground me, and know that we're an unstoppable force, even with the crater-sized hole in the middle of our group.

"I want to stick around here for... the next while. But we can't just sit around and wait for Roarke or Delphine to make an appearance. We have to be proactive."

Lance nods sharply. "We can scout ahead for another way in. These mountains are vast and ancient. I doubt Delphine is the only one to have ever used their magic—there must be other paths."

"Good. You and... Kieran, go on a scouting mission." I glance into K's honey brown eyes, and he gives me a reassuring smile. If he and Lance find Roarke, by some miracle, he'll know what to do with him. "While you two are out, Finn, Bastian and I will start a fire, create a camp, and renew our strength. Our mate bonds may have been awakened, but they need to be rebuilt. We have to mate again."

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