Page 117 of Fated Exile

"I need to speak to Vivia." I find myself looking at Kerry, the chair tipping forward as I lean towards her, the last dredges of my gin and tonic swirling in its glass. "There has to be a way. Even if it's something that's never worked before, or it's dangerous, I have to do it. No matter what."

Kerry purses her lips. "I don't know that anything would help at this point—"

"Something has to."

I get to my feet, drain the glass, set it down, and stalk around towards her. Cat watches me from the kitchen, her eyes sad and tired, a bowl full of half-stirred cookie dough on the counter in front of her. I feel the weight of her attention on me, and I know that she can't watch me go through this anymore. I have to face the monster outside our door, in order to save all the people under this roof.

Setting my hands on Kerry's shoulders, I tell her, "I know that there's a way to kill Delphine. Gregor's spirit told me that a dagger has something to do with it, but I can't find it. We've tried everything else. I've spilled enough blood on Vivia's statue to wake the dead, and I haven't even seen her spirit like I did when we tried to get deLance to wake her. There has to be a—"

"You've seen her spirit while you were awake?”

I realize I haven’t told Kerry about the ghostly spirit of Vivia who stopped me from taking John deLance's will. It was before I met my aunt, and shame crawls in my stomach at the thought of the dark magic I almost cast. Vivia’s spirit was what stopped me, then called me to the Mating Circle to learn more.

“Yes. I was about to do something terrible, and I saw her in the woods just behind her statue. She shook her head at me. But she wasn't able to speak."

"If she has a spirit out there wandering the world, one that isn't strictly trapped in gemstones or the elder statue, there may be a way to speak to her." Kerry grabs my wrists and eases my hands off her shoulder, slipping her fingers down to lace them with mine and squeezes my hands gently. "But it'll be dangerous, and time-consuming. I'm not even sure if it'll work."

"Yes," I tell her, taking an insistent step forward. "Let's do it. Now."

Forty-Three

Delilah

"Ican't warn you enough how dangerous it is to stay too long." Kerry hands me a mug filled with an herbal-scented tea, slightly unpleasant in its pungent strength. "You'll want to get in and get out. If you don't find Vivia right away, say the word I gave you."

"Got it."

"And what word is that again?"

I smile a little at her motherly tone, my heart aching for the birth mom I never got to know. "Expergo."

"That's the one. And just remember: hours could pass out here while you're in the dream world for only minutes, so you'll have to leave quickly."

"Yes, I got that part. Pretty typical with soul-wandering spells, right?" I grin at Kerry. "Unless I want to be a soulless husk."

She gives me an unamused look. "I'll stay by your side the whole time you're gone, to check your vitals and try to pull you out of it if necessary. But you'll be on your own in there."

"Will she be able to feel us? The bonds?" Roarke asks. He frowns when Kerry shakes her head. "I don't love this."

"And I don't love the idea of letting Delphine do whatever she plans to do with your blood and fur. I'm going to find out where that dagger is so I can use it on her, no matter what it takes. Besides—the risks are low as long as I don't linger."

Settling down into the recliner in my father's office, I bring the mug to my lips only to have Bastian's nervous voice interrupt me. "What if we just have to stab her withanyold dagger? Anyone thought of that?"

"I'm sure someone tried that at some point," Roarke says gently, "and it didn't work."

"Even if we have the dagger, we still have to find her." Lance shoots a wary gaze out the window, staring out into the backyard. "She's evaded us so far."

"One thing at a time. At least if we have the dagger, we'll be prepared for her next attack... when and if it comes." I take a deep breath to steel my nerves, wrinkling my nose as the tea's scent fills my mouth and turns my stomach. "You don'tallhave to watch me do this."

"Of course we do." Cat's voice is loud even though she's barely visible between Kieran and Finn's broad bodies, all of us shoved into the too-small office. She shoves her way between them to stand beside the recliner, glowering unhappily. "If you're going to go off into the unknown without a life jacket, we've got to watch to make sure you make it back. I wouldn't be anywhere else, Lilah."

Staring up into her fierce, protective gaze, I feel my heart seize for a moment. I should've sent her away days ago, and should still send her away now, but I haven't had the will to face all this without her. Seeing her sick with that curse, which resolved so quickly but scared me to my core, I felt like I was going to lose everything.

"Don't let her do anything dumb while I'm under," I tell Kerry, holding my nose and tipping the mug back. "Here goes nothing."

The tea tastes better than it smells, though that's not saying much. It's still bitter, pungent, and slightly sour tasting, with an aftertaste that reminds me of stale mushrooms. I drink it all in one foul, horrifying go, then set the mug down and grimace as the warmth slides down my throat.

Before I know it, the mug is sliding from my fingertips, and Kerry is sweeping it up.

---