Page 80 of Mated Exile

Once I'm sure I've anchored myself downward, I let my eyes slip open. A little part of my awareness remains with the earth. The rest of me flows up into my body—then down towards my fingertips as I reach a hand out to Kieran.

Meeting his cool brown eyes, I swallow. "Ready?"

"Not after what happened last time, but I know how dangerous it is to say no to you." Gently taking my hand, he pulls it towards his chest, until my fingertips hover just above the fabric of his shirt. I feel his warmth, and tingles go up my arm. "Try it one more time. But if you get thrown again like that, I'm not letting you go for a third round in the ring, mattress or not."

I shake my head a little. "So overprotective."

"I'm making up for lost time."

I can't argue with that. Drumming the fingers of my free hand against my knee, I focus on the spot where my hand skims his chest. Then I let my awareness ripple out and into the black pit again.

This time I'm more careful at how fast and deep I go. Prodding at its edges, I try to get a sense of its depth and strength. It feels vast and endless at first touch, but the more I work at it, the more I sense that there's an end to its darkness.

As I touch it further, it calls to me more and more. Even though the pit itself shrinks back from my awareness, recoiling as if my touch is its poison, there's something inside it that sings out to me. Frowning, I try to peer into the darkness without sinking into it, but it's too deep and wide to get around or look through.

"Mind if I try something?"

"Of course."

I get up and pace across the room. The glossy modern paperback Kieran gave me with the addiction craving curse is in a small bookshelf next to my father's desk. Plucking its spine away from the other books, I crack its cover and flip through the pages. It's a short and succinct book, titled simplyHelpful Spells,but what it under-delivers in quantity it more than makes up for in quality.

On page thirty-two is a short, simple spell, crammed alongside two others.

A Spell for Looking into Darkness

For times when a flashlight won't do. Place hands together, palm out. Touch thumbs together and index fingers, forming a triangular shape. While aiming the triangular space towards the dark space in question, chant clar-ah lam-pei. The spell will last for approximately thirty seconds to two minutes, depending on the witch's power. See pg. 42 for others.

Flipping through to the latter page, I find only smaller or bigger spells, meant for either illuminating something as small as a book's pages with a fingertip, or something as big as a football field. Only theclarah lampeispell seems to work for an object the size of... well, a man's chest, and also an endless darkness.

Unlike throwing myself into the dark pit, this spell can't hurt anything. Snapping the book closed, I take a seat opposite Kieran and warn him, "Close your eyes."

He does, raising a dark brow in my direction. "Do I want to know what you're up to?"

"Just a simple flashlight spell," I tell him. "There's something in the middle of that vast pit of darkness, and I want to see what it is."

"Do you think you'll be able to fix it if you do?"

I have no idea. Curiosity more than anything makes me want to see what lies in the middle. Maybe if I know why I feel drawn to the pit so deeply, I can figure out how to close it before its darkness festers further, consuming Kieran's very soul.

I tell him a white lie. "I'm not sure yet, but I'm going to figure it out."

"It's okay if you don't. I can keep fighting the thing for the rest of my life, if that's what it takes to survive."

Because I have nothing to say to that—or the quiet resignation in his voice—I move on todoingsomething instead.

I place my fingertips against his chest again. This time I use both hands, straightening my index fingers and thumb to form the triangular shape an inch above his chest, and curving the rest of my fingers out to settle against his shirt. Taking a deep breath, I anchor myself in the earth and narrow my eyes at the pit.

It's almost like it's looking back at me, cold and all-knowing. No, I realize with a start—it's not the pit that's giving me that feeling, like a hand skittering down my back. That sense of being watched is coming from outside the house, in the direction of the mountains that lie just beyond the Mating Circle.

Swallowing, I narrow my attention towards the pit, refusing to look back at the dark thing that's looking at me. One magical problem at a time. I ripple my magic towards my fingers like Bastian showed me, letting it pour down me until my fingertips feel warm and infused with power, my skin gently glowing despite the overhead light.

"Clarah lampei."

I expect it to take a moment or two, but the spell's effects are instantaneous. My fingers fill with a brilliant white light that ripples outwards. Turning my head away, I squint at the light until they adjust.

The light touches the darkness, penetrating it and peeling it back—but only enough to see more darkness within. There's a hint of something deep inside the pit, a lighter shadow across the black. Narrowing my eyes, I try to focus on it, ignoring how the light makes them water and tear.

It's like a little beating heart or a fist, some kind of solid, smaller center in the middle of all that festering rot. Digging my fingers into Kieran's chest, I bend my awareness towards it, struggling through the darkness. The urge to reach out and pluck it from within is strong.

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