Page 71 of Rejected Exile

I thought for so long that it was my fault. I should've told him no. I never stood up to him; just blindly did what he said. And the look on Delilah's face when she couldn't shift killed me. I thought for sure that was the reason why William told me to reject her. Surely it was because he knew she was shiftless.

But I still remember the way she looked at me as I said those words.I reject you!It was me she blamed, tears coursing down her cheeks, sobs wracking her body. She looked at me in pain as Niall dragged her away.

All I wanted was to go to her. But William grabbed my shoulder and held me down,Stay,he snarled,stay, boy, or you'll face the same fate.

I hadn't been able to listen. Tearing away from him, I'd run after the back of Niall's truck, desperate to get to her. My wolf came out and streaked across the open road—only for a bigger, much stronger wolf to intercept, grab me, and shake me until I whimpered.

The wounds from that encounter lasted for weeks. What lasted even longer were William's words:I'm giving you a second chance, and you better take it. Don't ever do anything like that again.

I listened to him. Believed he had all our best interests at heart. When Niall came back, he told me he'd found a nice, warm city for Delilah, and her father had given her plenty of money to set herself up with. He swore me to secrecy and told me to never speak her name.

All that time, they never told me why. But theyknew.Or at least William did.

I lived with so much doubt and self-hatred for seven fucking years that it tore me apart.

And now, I know that I can never have the woman I truly love. Who my heart beats for every second. Who makes me feel alive. Looking up at Delilah's beautiful face, I feel a deep, keen sense of despair, because loving her is the same as killing her.

An overwhelming sense of sadness and shame fills me. I find myself suddenly shooting to my feet, dizzy with memories, with anger, with hatred. This house feels like it's crushing me. The walls close in and the ceiling presses down.

"Kieran?"

Delilah's voice is small and sad. Just like that day. When I ruined everything by trusting the one man who never should've led me astray.

All eyes are suddenly on me. I feel it: Delilah's hurt, Finn's deep anger, Lance's disapproval, and the worst of all, Roarke's concern.

Because Delilah's life isn't the only one I ruined. Even the damage I've done to my own life pales in comparison to what I've done to Roarke.

I can't feel it anymore. The hatred, pain, sadness, fear—everything, all of it at once. My skin itches and crawls. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

As I turn towards the door, I hear a low, warning sound. Roarke says, "Kieran. Don't."

It's too late.

The wolf in me ripples out into the world and streaks down the stairs, then out the front door with aslamagainst the wood and a squeal of hinges. I hear a woman's shout—probably Cat—and then I'm outside, paws against the ground, wind in my fur as I race into the darkness at the edge of town.

Somewhere out there, oblivion awaits.

I'm going to chase it until I feel nothing at all.

Twenty-Four

Delilah

Roarke races down the stairs after Kieran the second he disappears. A moment later there's a loudthumpand a crack. I stare at the empty staircase, heart in my throat, hating everything. It feels like the world is falling apart.

Lance turns to me, his eyes full of concern. "Are you okay?"

"Just figuring things out." I stare down the stairs at the empty space where Kieran just was, his wolf like a furry bullet. "I should go after him."

Snorting, Finn shakes his head. "Don't bother. He'll be back in the morning, high as a kite and completely out of it."

Though Lance shoots him a warning look, Finn just scoffs at him. "What? I said what I said. It's true and you know it."

"Delilah cares for Kieran," Lance says in a low rumble, reaching out to cup my elbow with his hand as if he needs to be there to hold me up. "She's still adjusting to everything that's changed in her absence. You could be a little respectful."

Finn sighs. "Okay. Respectful... You should go after him, Delilah. Go see what it's like while he's in this state. We'll hold down the fort here by continuing the research—right, Lance?"

"Sure." Lance's eyes flick to me. "I'd like to read that journal, if you don't mind?"

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