Page 42 of Rejected Exile

"Everything went well enough between Kieran and Tara, from what I saw. Other people claim they fought a lot—there was bad blood between them. Mostly about you." I glance up at these words, but Lance swiftly says, "I put no stock in gossip, though. Whatever they disagreed about, it was between them, if you ask me."

So I won't get more details from him. That's probably for the best. Every inch of mecravesto know more about Kieran and the mate who followed me, but I'm sure that knowledge would just hurt.

Lance continues, "Then their time in the Mating Circle began. This was the early days—before the curse had completely taken hold. There'd been a few... incidents, but at this point everyone in the pack still chalked them up as isolated tragedies. No one was expecting anything bad to happen."

My stomach turns. I make myself concentrate on the staples at my feet, prying them up and brushing them aside, but I get the sense that this story won't end well. Not that it's hard to figurethatpart out—one look at Kieran's sunken cheeks and haunted eyes revealed that much, though his smartass mouth hasn't gotten the message the rest of his face is sending.

Lance is silent for a long moment. So long that I wonder if he's done telling the story. But I need to hear the ending. "What happened?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

He leans back, taking a break from the hard work of chiseling away at the hardwood planks. "The truth is, we didn't really know the cursewasa curse until Kieran and Tara stepped into the Mating Circle. I went, because my mate and I had just bonded, and new couples are supposed to attend. Finn was there too, and Roarke... we all saw what happened.

"They gathered in the circle of torch light between the stones. The alpha—your father—blessed their union." His voice takes on a reverent, slightly distant tone. "Then they brought their hands together, and vowed to care for each other, as humans and as wolves. I noticed in that moment that Tara looked miserable—I thought because she and Kieran didn't always get along, but now I wonder..."

Lance trails off for a moment, then shakes his inattention off and jerks his eyes back to me. "After the first blessing was said, they both shifted into their wolves and bowed their heads. Then shifted back into human form. It was time for them to mate, so I was about to leave with Finn and Roarke, when it started.

"There were screams. Tara first—then others. She was bleeding so much more than seemed possible. A fountain of blood. It gushed down onto the sacred stones and splashed them red."

I shudder, unable to imagine such a horrible thing happening in a place that's meant to be holy. "I don't understand. She died in the middle of their bonding?"

"Tara was dead before the bond could be complete." Lance grimaces. "They both opened themselves up, said the words to begin the bond, and then... just like that, she was ripped away. I could barely believe it myself, but a few minutes after the screams started, Kieran was holding her body in the middle of the Mating Circle. It was then that we knew the pack was cursed."

My stomach churns. Suddenly I'm thinking of his shadowed eyes and hollowed-out frame in a new light. "That must be awful. The bond... I can't even imagine what happens when it's broken like that, right in the middle of being created."

"It's agony," he says bluntly. "Kieran went into shock right after Tara died. He was a mess for months. We had to put him back together piece by piece—and even then, his wolf was never quite right."

I rock back on my heels, staring off into the distance. Then I remember what started this whole conversation. "I asked you why you don't like Kieran right now—from what you told me, you have no reason to. What's happened since then?"

"Too much to explain easily. Far too much." He grimaces. "All I can tell you is that while I stayed by his side for a long time, doing my best to make excuses for him, to put the pieces of his broken life back together, I eventually realized that I wasn't doing him any favors. That night may have messed him up—but he's walked off the cliff's edges many times since then, and I can't keep catching him."

"Roarke seems to think he can be saved."

"That's because Roarke refuses to see the truth." Lance shakes his head. "There's a hole inside Kieran, and he won't do anything to fix it. The rest of us have had to deal with the passing of our mates, like me, or the breaking of the bond, like Finn and Roarke. But Kieran acts as if he's the only one who knows trauma and tragedy—he doesn't seek help, doesn't try to get better. He just... wallows.

"And that's why, despite all the love I once held for him, and the affection I still have, I can't quite stomach spending much time in the same room as Kieran these days. His attitude is infectious. It seeps into everything he touches. And I know better than to let myself get dragged down with him. I just hope one day Roarke realizes the same thing, too."

Because there's nothing much to say to that, I nod sharply, grab my tool, and turn back to the work. Lance does the same, until a companionable silence fills the room. It feels good to set myself a goal—to accomplish something.

But the whole time I'm working alongside Lance, I'm thinking about Kieran.

About the hole inside him.

And how desperately I wish that I could be the one to fix it.

* * *

It's a good thing my father's house has fallen into a state of complete disrepair, because right now I need the distraction more than anything. Fixing all the broken and damaged bits of the house gives me something to do besides dwell on the microchip in my neck. It lets me have breathing space to think and consider my options.

And it's a damned good excuse for having the guys around.

Well—Finn, Roarke, and Lance, that is. Kieran stays away after the first day; the morning that follows his visit, Roarke passes on some message from him. Apparently he'll be "too busy" hunting up near the mountains to help with the house anymore. Based on the way Roarke won't quite meet my eyes as he repeats Kieran's message, I get the feeling it's at least mostly a lie, but I decide I don't quite care.

Anything to keep him away from me, so I don't have to look at the way he's turned out and feel bad for him. It's foolish of me, I realize quickly, to think he can be fixed. Men don't change just because we want them to—and despite our childhood friendship, Kieran is broken beyond repair.

Better to turn my attention to things thatcanbe fixed, like this house. And things that don'tneedto be fixed, like the three hunky men spending their time inside it.

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