Page 42 of Phoenix Academy: Mayhem

Chapter 12

When I wake a second time,the guys are by my bedside. Reggie sleeps in a sprawl on an empty gurney; David is curled up in an armchair with his legs thrown over the side; and Xavier is on a folded chair next to my bed, a book open in his lap, head lolling to the side.

My heart squeezes and thumps.

I watch them sleep until I drift off again, my body and soul tired.

* * *

It takes two days for me to start to feel normal. For my legs to straighten beneath me and my calf muscles to carry me across the room. For my eyes to stay open longer than a few minutes at a time.

As my body adjusts to having my spirit back in it again, my guys are with me through every moment.

But we don't talk about it.

What happened in Hell. How close we became—and the fact that it took magic-drugged water to do it. Their hands that prop me up at my elbows and waist, polite and distant, also know what it's like to touch my naked body. To be inside me. To kiss until we're gasping for air.

It's the elephant in the room. A big, fat, pink elephant. I feel it every time Xavier's gaze skitters away from me or David looks bitter and distant. Reggie cracks jokes to cover up the awkwardness, which just makes it worse. I try to think of things to say to break the tension in the air, but I'm so tired and lost and confused.

My sister is alive.

Or something that looks and feels like my sister.

Lizzy is alive.The knowledge of it is like a hollow space in my chest where my heart used to be. I want to feel... something, relief or hope, but instead I just feel an ache. I can't stop blaming myself for how she's turned out. If I'd been more determined and gone after her that day in the woods, maybe the Heretic wouldn't have gotten his hands on my sister long enough to change her.

Because she is different. And it hurts more than anything. I need a distraction from the knowledge, and allies in my fight to bring her back and get revenge on our father. But I can't get either from the guys when they'll barely look at me without shuffling their feet or awkwardly making a joke to ease the tension.

The frustrated tension starts to boil over after I make my first full walk through the infirmary. My toes hit the floor awkwardly as I step around a gurney, and Reggie's hand slides towards my waist to catch me before I fall. His fingers brush up against my bare skin, his touch skittering across my midsection.

"Whoops," he mutters, pulling away as soon as I get my feet back under me. "You almost bit it there, Ari. And there wasn't even anything to trip over. If I didn't know better I'd think you were doing it on purpose—swooning into my arms like a heroine from a '60s film."

David frowns. "Reggie."

"What?" He blinks, looks at me, and backs away. "I wasn't... I didn't..."

"Just. Shut. Up."

The wolf shifter is glaring daggers at the panther shifter. Xavier is sitting in an armchair in the corner, asleep after pulling an all night shift watching me, as if he thought my spirit might spontaneously leave my body for no reason. Normally he moves between his brother and his best friend when things get tense between them, but right now all he has to offer is a few deep snores.

So I'm the one who has to step in, even though I barely feel qualified. "You guys. What's going on?" Their gazes shift away from me. I can tell they're keeping something to themselves. "Whatever it is, just out with it. I don't have time to figure it out."

Sighing, David sets his mouth at a mulish angle. "You won't like it."

"Which is why you should tell me now before I figure it out on my own or force it from you."

"I don't think you'd do that."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I'm tempted to reach into our bond and yank at it. I could do something like that. But he knows I wouldn't unless lives were in danger—which is part of the problem. So I shift my eyes to Reggie, who is steadfastly refusing to look in my direction at all. "Spill the beans, Black."

"Is that a reference to my race?" He puts an exaggeratedly offended hand on his chest, but I just narrow my eyes menacingly until he drops the act. "Fine, fine. But referring to me or my brother by my last name is a bit of a faux pas, Wolfe. What David is not talking about is—"

"We'd agreed we wouldn't push you into anything," David interjects, voice overlapping with Reggie's before he can finish his sentence. "Which is why he shouldn't be flirting with you or touching you intimately. Not while you're still recovering in the infirmary."

I'm touched, but frustrated. Crossing my arms, I stare them both down. "Don't you think those are boundaries for me to be setting? Not the two of you, since it's not your business."

Xavier chooses this moment to stir from his nap, though I have the feeling he's been awake for a while and faking it to avoid the tension. "We just didn't want to push things, since the lake... well." He clears his throat. "We were all equally drugged, but it's still..."

Horror and nausea roll around in my stomach. My voice rises to an uncomfortable octave as I ask, "You didn't think that you raped me, did you?"

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