Page 59 of The Knight

His blue eyes are sad as he says, "I'm different, then?"

"Yes!" I cling on to this explanation. "You're not like the others."

"I knew you judged us harshly, Brenna." He shakes his head, looking away into the trees. "I just had no idea that you thought so little of me. That you didn't even think this might've meant something to me. You see," he leans forward, voice pitched low, hands in his pockets, "Iamlike the others you scorn. I have distant parents and too much money. People are always trying to use me for my influence and connections. I thought maybe... well, you seemed different. But clearly all you want is what you can get from me. You don't even care if you bleed me dry."

"That's not true," I protest.

"Then tell me you have feelings for me. Tell me our time together today meant something to you."

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Bewildered, I realize that I've never toldanyoneI have feelings for them, not like this at least. I don't even know what it looks like to see two people fall in honest, genuine love. Every example in my life, from my grandfather and grandmother to my parents, has been toxic and terrible. There were no soft declarations of love or simple kisses.

I have no idea how to tell Lukas how I feel about him. The truth is, I don't even know if Idohave feelings for him. And he would see it if I lie.

"See?" His mouth twists up bitterly; my silence is answer enough, for him. "Cole was right. You're just playing games. I should've... well. It's for the best that you'll be leaving soon. That was always the plan."

Standing on the path to Rosalind Hall, as students awkwardly drag their designer suitcases around us, Lukas looks at me one last time, then turns around and walks away.

I have the feeling he won't be coming back.

Cole aims a triumphant smirk in my direction. "Just because we agreed to help you with one thing, doesn't mean you get to use us whenever you want. Lukas deserves better. I'll be glad to see you go."

"I can't wait to leave," I tell him, hating the fact that it's a lie.

I want to stay here, at Coleridge, more than ever before. Not for revenge. Not because of hate.

But because I'm finally starting to find myself, and I can only finish doing it here.

I don't see Cole walk away; I can barely look at him, because my own worst qualities are reflected back at me when I do. Slowly, spring breakers returning to campus start to stream around me, and I hold my breath to keep from crying.

Footsteps behind me. A familiar scent. Someone stands at my shoulder, casual, easy, never tense or uncomfortable.

He watched the whole thing.

I wonder what cruel jab will fall from his mouth in a dripping Southern drawl.

"Hey Brenna," Tanner says, "wanna go dirt bike riding with me?"

Chapter 24

"No one else will go," he complains, as I stare at him in bafflement. "All these rich kids are so precious about their skincare routines. You'd think a little mud would turn them into a puddle of goo. They're not like us."

I frown. "Us?"

"You know what I mean. Virginia is Southern. Especially your part of it. I know you've taken a tumble in the mud before." He's not wrong. "You don't seem to give a shit about a few scrapes and a little dirt underneath your fingernails. There's still half a day of spring break left. Come with me. It's the only chance you'll get to go off campus before they lock you in those classrooms and make you study yourself to death."

This is the last thing I expected to happen today, but somehow it makes perfect sense. Still, I can't help but look for the trap. I've barely had any interaction with Tanner since last semester. He's been content to go along with the ride, following Cole's lead, occasionally making swipes in my direction. Other than the triumph on his face the day Hass was arrested, he's barely seemed to care about what was going on around him at all.

"Why not just go by yourself? I'm sure you don't need me."

"Because it's boring as fuck alone." He doesn't sound like he's lying. With a shrug, he adds, "Besides, you seem like you could use the chance to run off some steam. This place is basically a super fucking fancy prison for lonely kids whose parents don't want to raise them. You don't belong here."

Unsaid in his words is the fact that hedoesbelong here. Senator Connally sent his eldest, his only son, off to boarding school, while keeping his two daughters by his side as he campaigns for the presidential nomination. It's not hard to see why he would want foul-mouthed, prank-pulling Tanner somewhere else, given his penchant for trouble and his inability to keep his dick in his pants for long. But Tanner doesn't sound sad about it, just matter of fact in an almost joking way.

It would be nice to have an engine between my legs, the air all around me, defying gravity with a dirt bike in some off-road course somewhere. Which begs the question, "How are you going to get me off campus without testing Cole's wrath? He seems convinced I'll be assassinated as soon as I step outside the gates."

"Cole is paranoid." Tanner rolls his eyes, dismissing him with a flap of his hand that turns into a rude gesture. "You'll be fine. I'll have my butler take you in my SUV." He grins at his own joke. "Actually, the athletics director says he'll drive me. And I promise to single-handedly fight off any assassins who come for us."

I snort in derision at his mockery of my very real fears of being hurt or worse, but the truth is that I'm desperate to get off campus and blow off some steam. Especially now that my heart is hurting because of what Lukas said to me.

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