Page 46 of The Knight

"Get some purchase on the edge of the hole," she encourages me. "You can do it."

Biting my lower lip, I jump upwards, scrambling against the wet earth. Holly takes my weight effortlessly, grabbing my hands in both of hers, concentration lining her face as she pulls me up.

Out of the darkness and into the light.

By her side. I tumble out onto the earth, rolling on the wet leaves and cold grass, panting at the effort of it. Holly shakes out her hands, staring down at me. "You okay?"

"I'm good." I blink up at her face, still backlit by the sky. Above us, the wind pushes the clouds aside, and the sun dares to show itself. Its rays begin to banish the chill on my skin. "How did you know I was lost?"

She shrugs, looking away, then back at my face. "I just... knew. I looked for you and you weren't there. So I kept looking until I found you."

"Thank you." Sitting up, I confess, "I don't know if I would've been able to find you. If you were missing. Not that I was missing, just... a little lost."

A little laugh escapes Holly's mouth, and she smiles at me. The sight of it is worth more than a thousand kisses from a thousand terrible boys. I didn't even know I needed her smile until seeing it eases something within me, banishing a rot that set in the moment she discovered I'd betrayed her.

Maybe girls like me can be forgiven.

She suggests, "You stick to the getting lost. I'll stick to the finding. We both have our strengths."

"I guess so." I tilt my chin up and stare into the sun to hide the mist smarting at the corners of my eyes, but I know she sees through me. Girls like Holly always do. "Have I missed French class?"

"No," she says, and I groan in disappointment.

"Put me back in the hole and come back in an hour or two," I suggest. "In time for lunch."

"You wish." Laughing, she stands and helps me to my feet. "C'mon. I'll help you get to the nurse's office and have that ankle patched up. Next time, read the warning signs."

As we walk out of the woods, I look over my shoulder and see what she meant. The signs were there all along, nailed onto the tree trunks, long before I hit the torn red caution tape. But I wasn't looking for them, so I didn't see them.

This thing with Georgia is the same, except I see the warning signs.

I'm going to keep going anyway.

* * *

I can feel it all through French and biology class. The heaviness of my decision weighs on me, but I know it’s the only one that I could make. I have to do something about Hass, even if it means trusting Georgia.

Still, I can’t keep myself from feeling trepidation as I head towards the table in the back of the dining hall, where I’ve been eating with—and making plans with—the Elites. I get fewer eyes following me than I did the first few times I sat with them, but there are still plenty of curious, and jealous, onlookers. From the rumors that have trickled to me, some people think I’m Cole’s new girlfriend, others Lukas’s. No one has guessed that wild Tanner would settle down with me, or cold Blake warm up to me, but they all wonder what I’m doing here.

A voice calls my name, and I look to the left to see Holly waving at me from a table. “You can sit with us if you want,” she says, and I look over at Leo Cooper, her new boyfriend, as well as the other Rosalinds: Sasha, Piper, and Kaylie Jefferson, who replaced Georgia after she left. Tricia is also with them, sitting next to Sasha. Holly points to the seat next to her. “There’s a spot here for you.”

Unspoken is the fact that there’s also a spot in the Rosalinds for me. Holly never replaced me after I left, even though ostensibly five is the perfect number of students to run the events.

Before, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. But after she pulled me out of the hole this morning, we spent the whole walk to the nurse’s station talking and sharing. She told me that her new boyfriend likes to try to cook things for her late at night in the Coleridge kitchen, and confessed that she sneaks him in just so she can smear sauce on his nose. I told her that I’ve never been more sorry for anything than I am for what I did to her. She put her arm around me and held me up, then asked me if I wanted to talk about my brother.

For the first time, I wanted to tell her about Silas. About the way he used to laugh, and how he made the sun rise in the morning, and caught fireflies in the evening. But I choked up, and all I could say was, “I want to.”

“One day,” she responded, squeezing me comfortingly. “When you’re ready.”

Looking at her now, open-faced and waiting for me, all I want is to go to her. Sitting next to Holly would be a privilege. The thing is, though, I’m not done with the dirty work ahead of me, and until I am, I can’t let myself rest at her side.

“Maybe next week,” I tell her, glancing over at the table where the Elites sit. “I’ll see you after class?”

Holly follows my gaze, and I wonder if all she sees is that I’d rather spend time with her lying ex-boyfriend than with her. But she just says, “Of course. After class.”

It hurts to turn away from her. I know how valuable a friendship like hers is. But I have something to take care of before I can return to her good graces and stay there permanently.

Sitting down at the lunch table, I receive the full attention of the Elites. Cole raises a brow at me, expectantly.

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