Am I finally getting to see her hate in its rawest form?
“I’m going to get off the phone now. I want you to think about your life.Hard. Like you never have before. I think you’ll see how right I am and how badly you need to change before it gets worse.”
The call disconnects without my reply. My hand falls to my lap as I mutter, “I love you, too.”
When did she stop saying that to me?
I blink as I realize it’s been a long while. Even before I moved. I was too deep in my own depression to notice.
I don’t bother getting ready for bed. I curl up in the safety of all the stuffed animals and stare into the darkness without any hope for sleep as my mind slowly begins to dissect where I could have gone wrong in my life. And how my own Maman could believe that I could ever be a monster likehim.
Chapter Five
Adelaide
The next morning, I’m grumpy. I know it. I think I’ve earned the right to be depressed.
It took a long time for me to fall asleep last night. I tried to shake off Maman’s words. She’s always trying to maneuver me into doing what she wants. This is a new and frankly agonizing path. If she really believed all of it, she wouldn’t want me anywhere near her home.
I’m thinking hard about my life, alright, just not in the ways she probably meant.
It’s crap. All of it.
And a warning.
If I try to bring Poe up to her again, she’ll twist it. If I want answers, I’ll need to ask Suzette about it. She’s the only one who’s met her soulmate other than Asher. And three of them at that. She’s practically an expert by now.
Speaking of crap, it’s been over a week with no word from Asher. I’ve been so busy with my own problems that it slipped by me. I guess he forgot, too, because I never got a reminder from him.
How did I get so self-focused that I forgot I was going to meet his group? It isn’t like me at all.
The thought of me changing in ways that Maman could call me on sends a shudder down my spine.
No. She isn’t right about me. I know myself. I can fix this.
I text Asher as I walk to work with a sour expression.
Me: Dinner tonight? We missed the week mark. Sorry I’ve been busy at work.
After a few minutes, he replies.
Asher: Not now.
I stare at the two words with a frown.
Me: Is everything ok? Are you mad at me for forgetting?
Asher: It’s bad timing. Tera needs me right now.
Me: Ok. Be safe and kiss the baby bump for Aunt Addie. Love you.
He doesn’t reply. It doesn’t mean much. Text messages make him sound even more terse than normal. I’d try calling, but he never answers his phone. I’ll try to text again tomorrow.
Maman’s words circle around my head as I open up and get things ready for the day. It’s hard to focus on anything else.
Damon comes in with a bright grin that doesn’t fade, making my mood worse. Here’s the jealousy Maman was talking about. I’m jealous my friend had a great night.
Damon is a good guy. He deserves to be happy. I try to keep my mouth shut and swallow all the uncharitable things I want to say as he describes the date he went on last night. He doesn’t realize I know he was with Grace. I wonder why he’s not saying so. Does he not trust me to be supportive? Maybe I’ve gone too far teasing him about his philandering ways.