Page 20 of The Confidant

“Addie, this place is going to shut down at some point,” Damon tries to be gentle about saying it, but it hits me in the gut. “That doesn’t mean everything is over. It’s just a new chapter. We’ll both be fine. It’s ok to be sad about it. Angry too. But life won’t stop because of it unless you let it.”

He slings his ratty backpack over a shoulder and gives me a hard look.

“I’mtaking it as a sign. He’s already flipped things around for you. Let it happen for once. Grab something happy andenjoyit. Half the people we’ve seen lately tell us the same thing. Find happiness wherever you can because life isn’t guaranteed.”

I have heard that a lot this week, mainly to Damon, who shares his life with anyone who asks. I’m a lot more private than that. I have so many secrets I keep for so many different people, I’ve gotten used to dodging questions with flippant answers.

So why is it that if Poe asks me a personal question, I blurt out my answers without pause?

“Go. For. It,” he insists, and leaves.

I lock the door behind him and pause. He’s on the sidewalk with Grace. She gives him a beaming smile as he slides his arm around her waist. The kiss he gives her is chaste, which shocks the hell out of me.

Damon is always ready for a good time. He doesn’t do sweet boyfriend stuff.

He’s going for it. And he’s happy enough with it that he’s telling me to do the same.

I back away before either of them catches me snooping. Seeing that decides me. I’m calling Maman. Ass chewing or not, I need answers.

I’m tearing up my lip on the walk home. It’s gotten dark. This is the first time in months I’ve worked so late. It’s rewarding but exhausting. We need to go back to scheduling people instead of going balls to the wall and taking every person who walks in. It’s a recipe that will have people leaving before we get a hello out.

I’m stalling.

I force myself to hit her contact name and listen to it ring.

“Hi, girlie,” Maman’s voice washes over me, amping up my anxiety.

She calls me girlie now instead of baby or even by my name. Sometimes, I wonder if she remembers it or if I’mthat girlnow. But she sounds in a good mood.

“Hey, Maman,” I sigh with a smile of cautious relief. She hasn’t sounded this happy to hear from me in a while. Usually, it’s her calling me to lecture me. This is a nice surprise.

“What’s wrong?”

I can’t force the words out, my nerves taking over. Instead, I deflect.

“Does it bother you that I don’t call much?” I ask and want to smack myself for the useless question.

“You know better,” she clicks her tongue to scold me without words. “How is Asher? Are you calling about him?”

“No, he’s doing good.” I try to keep that avenue as closed off as possible. He’s not ready for her yet. My lips are sealed.

“And his angel?” Maman presses with just the right amount of gentle firmness that makes me sweat.

“Also doing good.” I chew my lip.

“Have you met her yet?”

“No,” I wince. I shouldn’t have called. I should get off the phone. All she wants is information about Asher. Those conversations never go well because I barely tell her anything. “I need to go, Maman-”

“No, you don’t. Don’t you try to fool me.”

My voice chokes off at her blunt dismissal. This is the new bitter tone she’s started using on me. It makes my shoulders slump in defeat. This is going to go bad. I never should have called.

“You call me when you have doubts, girlie. What is it? Is something going on with my baby?”

The fact that she still calls Asher that says it all. I tease him about it all the time. Mainly because he’s the youngest, but also because Maman never wants him to grow up.

I clear my throat, hurrying to unlock the door to my apartment and gain some relief from my tension in the form of my stuffed animals.

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