Page 78 of The Reluctant Hero

She’s regaining some confidence because of that guard’s interest. I need to knock that down. She isn’t taking the eviction threats seriously, either. I’ll make sure she can’t ignore them to put the cherry on top.

I finish my whiskey and pick up the landline in my office. I have a few phone calls to make, and then I’ll fuck my secretary on the desk and go home.

18

Insanely Illegal Cage Fight

Amanda

The next two days follow a routine that is slowly eroding my will to keep going. Each day, a rose is stuffed into the corner of my mailbox, but I don’t touch the flowers or the mailbox.

Every morning, there’s a new bouquet at work, driving Harriette crazy. She’s gone from being pissed to concerned. She told me Thursday when I left that another one showed up at lunch, but she got rid of it without hesitation.

Ellen thinks it’s romantic and Harriette is threatening to ban all flower deliveries to the office. I hope Harriette wins.

I’m no longer struggling to fake the subdued act. It’s real. I’m going back to the way I used to be and turning paranoid to finish it off. I’m praying Loser doesn’t try to meet me outside the building to make a bigger spectacle. I’ve started waiting around and leaving at weird times, taking different routes to get home.

Manny has noticed something is up but I’m not in the mood to whine about it to him. I’m too busy trying not to get in a random car and demand they drive like I’m in an action movie to get away.

It no longer matters that Matthias is getting more frustrated, and I’m winning. The office has become a silent war zone.

Mikael is amused because his plan is working. It also has the side effect of me not causing any problems for him to take care of. Ace has been watching me nonstop and refusing to acknowledge Matthias. Jake and Cade whisper to each other liketeenagers constantly. Even when the TV is on, there’s an air of oppression I can’t shake.

And Matthias is doing everything he can to get a rise out of me. They leave every afternoon to get lunch with Loser. He makes a big announcement of where they will be like it’s something special.

To me, they’re two men who should have been born as twins at this point. If I didn’t know better, I would think I’d get pictures of Matthias next.

I stopped bothering to reply to the taunts. I have a crick in my neck from staring at paperwork all day. I can’t remember the last time I looked at any of the men around me. My eyes slide past them all as if they’re phantoms now.

This fight isn’t worth the slow decline of my mental health. I can’t seem to pull myself out of the tailspin.

When Matthias hands me a personal check on Friday, I can’t find it in me to be enthused about the two thousand dollars. I just nod and thank him without much emotion. My eyes can’t manage to make it past his desk to his eyes. My sincerity has gone flat over everything in life.

How did I live like this for so long? Maybe this two K will help with the therapy bills I can already feel racking up.

I need to do something to get myself out of this funk. It’s the weekend. I should go out, but instead, I head straight home and listen to someone down the hall watch murder docs.

One listless night without sleep later, I leave the apartment like my ass is on fire. I wander the streets for a little bit and then decide to get a phone plan. It turns into getting a new number and an upgrade now that I have the money for it. I feel guilty about buying the thing until I see the receipt with my name all by itself as the owner. It starts shaking the bad mood away.

I call Mom to give her my new number. She answers the way she always has to an unknown number.

“We don’t want any.”

“Mom,” I catch her before she hangs up.

“Amanda?” Her tone of surprise seems over the top with how gloomy I’m feeling.

“Yeah. I got a new number.”

There’s a pause, and she says in a stern tone, “He shut it off?”

“Yeah.”

“How is it going down there?” She lets out a tight breath, and I hear her chopping vegetables in the background. I know she isn’t cooking anything. She isn’t good at it. This is a sign that something has pissed her off, and she can take it out on innocent carrots.

I explain the hopeless lawyer situation without any inflection.

“So, no matter how much money you make, it isn’t happening.”

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