When I don’t say anything, Shade pipes up. “Get some sleep, Amanda. I’m on this. I’ll keep you in the loop.”
Keep me in the loop. I’m relegated to the sidelines of my own life. As if I can trust any of the people around me to take care of this. I can’t knock Shade, though. Or South and Tera.Thatis a real team. Not whatever I’m currently staying with.
I’d ask if I could stay with him and South instead, but the knowledge of what will follow me tempers it quickly.
I should feel relieved. I should be celebrating the fact that I no longer have to deal with this. It’s what I’ve wanted from the beginning.
Instead I feel bitter as hell that they’re taking over while I’m sitting on the sidelines. I still have a lot of rage left in me.And that hollow feeling isn’t going away. I’m still not safe. I’ll have to do this another way. Bide my time. Be patient for once.
Jake’s eyes snap to mine and his lips quirk up in a knowing smile that makes me uneasy. He winks and gets back to what he was doing.
Huh. Maybe I won’t be alone in that after all.
I don’t have a chance to protest. Mikael bundles me up into a bridal carry and stands up with me in his arms. I stare at him in surprise as he walks out of the room with me. It’s nerve-wracking that he doesn’t seem winded over it. I’m not a lightweight.
The feeling of being hauled around by him is startling. It makes me feel delicate. Something I’ve never felt in my life, even when I was well-toned and a decent weight. He makes me feel safe. Like he’s a shield between me and anything that could come at me.
It’s a lie.
The thought hits me hard enough that the relaxed position I’ve taken stiffens up.
I’m not the damsel they want me to be. This kind of coddling is fake as hell.
“Put me down. I can get there on my own,” I tell him flatly.
“Would you actually go is the question,” Mikael answers me with a hesitant smirk.
“I’m not acompleteidiot. I’m exhausted. Put me down.Now.”
He stops and looks down at me. His expression is half concerned and half wary. “No more sneaking out?”
I raise a brow. “You have my weapon, my phone, and a surveillance system. They have bullets, paranoia, and backers wondering what’s going on. I think I can manage to be smart enough not to bail out.”
His face drops into a scowl. “We won’t let anything happen to you.”
Yeah right.
I don’t answer him, keeping my flat stare steady as his brows sink lower.
“Amanda. I’m sorry. We let our paranoia take over. This life doesn’t lead to trust.”
He sounds honest, and he seems upset, but that doesn’t guarantee that it won’t happen again. The people I’m up against won’t have a problem with another staged theft. Or anything else I haven’t thought of yet that I can get blamed for.
“Ok.” It isn’t ayou’re forgiven. It’s ayeah, I see you’re sorry and raise you a fuck around and find out.
He seems disappointed as he sets me down. I want to linger in his safety for a little bit longer, but I can’t. I walk away from him quickly and shut the door without looking back.
41
A Warrior’s Call
Amanda
I wake gradually, unwilling to face the day. My body aches, I’m grumpy already, and I just plain don’t want to. My eyes pop open whether I like it or not.
Ace is sitting by the bed, his head down and elbows braced on his knees. His hands are clasped together as if he’s praying about something. He doesn’t seem the type.
I let out a disgruntled sigh and sit up. I’m not waiting for whatever this is going to be. He broke in. Again. I slept through it, which proves how tired I was. He dragged a chair in from somewhere, and I was too busy snoring to beat the shit out of him for breaking in.Again!