Page 42 of Forced Vampire Mate

The corners of his mouth twitched. “You were jealous.”

“I was angry,” I said, not wanting to admit just how tied up my feelings were.

“Why?”

I snorted and rolled my eyes to stare past his head. “Because of everything! Because you didn’t tell me why we were there, you didn’t warn me about what to expect, because there were people fucking on every surface in that palace, and it made me feel like an unwilling participant. Because you forced me to marry you. You didn’t ask, you didn’t give me time to adjust, you just commanded, and I had no choice.”

“I had to marry you quickly, to protect you,” he answered. “I’ve never been…exclusivewith my blood donors and I didn’t want any of the others to get the wrong idea. I had to make sure everyone in the world knew I would burn them to the ground if they tried to touch you.”

“You didn’t tell me that.” I resisted the urge to move away from him. The thorns at my back proved it wouldn’t be a good idea. “And now we’re married, and I think those vows are sacred. So I’m not running off fucking other people, but if you slept with her, it means that our vows mean nothing to you.”

Luken touched my cheek, and I slapped him away, scratching my hand on the brambles for my efforts.

“Elara, I didn’t betray you. Those vows mean something to me, too. I’m not my father,” Luken said. His voice was low, gravelly with… anger? Was he angry with me?

I searched his face but couldn’t tell if it was anger or something else.

“It wasn’t me you saw. I didn’t sleep with her. You’re the only one I want.” He reached for me, pulling me tight against him. “If there was room in this place for you to top me, I’d say let’s fucking do it. You are the only one I want to fuck. The only one I want to kiss and hold.”

“Even though I’m only—” I cut myself off, unwilling to admit the insecurities that had reared their ugly heads. I started to pull away, but he let me, so I stopped. It felt too nice to have his arms around me.

Luken rubbed his nose along my jaw. “Only what? Divinely sexy? Strong and stubborn? Quick? Even though you know exactly what you want, and you let me know it?”

I shivered as his breath wafted over my neck. “Only one person?” I offered, lifting my chin to give him better access.

“I’ve never been one for group sex.”

I pushed slightly, wanting to see his face. “So you have had orgies?”

Luken’s jaw tightened in the way I was coming to realize it meant he didn’t want to talk about it. “Yes. Three hundred and fifty years is a long time. I’ve done many things, Elara. But all of that is in the past. Holding you like this is better than any wild sex parties I’ve attended.”

“Just how many wild sex parties have you attended?” I shuddered. “And was she part of any of them?”

Luken growled. “What does it matter what happened before we met? If I slept with Donelle, do you really think I would want to? Open the bond, and I’ll show you how I feel.”

The implications of his words made me go cold. I pulled away as best as I could, staring into his eyes. They were bright, searching my face, anger, and defiance and pleading all at once in his expression. He was right. I’d seen the way he reacted to the elves, and specifically Donelle. He didn’t want her to touch him. He’d tolerated it because of the situation we were in.

Shame welled in me.

For one thing, his past was in the past. If I’d been that old, I doubted I would still be a virgin, either. I’d have probably joined in a few of the orgies they had at the assassin’s coven, too, if I wasn’t holding onto my virginity like it was some precious treasure. If I hadn’t been a virgin in his bed—if I’d slept with a hundred, a thousand, others—it wouldn’t have changed the way Luken felt for me. Why should his past partners be something that I worried myself over?

But most of all… I’d been angry at him. Blaming him for Donelle’s attention. She was the one who held all the power in the Silver Forest, and yet I’d thought the worst of him.

I started shaking as the cold went through me. “If anything happened, it would be my fault.”

Luken pulled me close again. He touched my chin, his thumb running along my lower lip. “Nothing happened.”

“But it could have. We were only there because of me, and if she’d demanded—”

“Shhh.” He pressed his fingers over my lips. “We can’t drown ourselves in ‘ifs.’ We need to rest, regain our strength, and face what comes next. Dwelling on what might have happened will only freeze us.”

I pressed my face into shoulder, continuing to shake. What made it worse was that I knew this wasn’t going to change anything. Not really. I savored his warmth and the feeling of him close to me right now. I believed him about Donelle and wanting nobody but me. But as soon as tomorrow came—or whatever counted as tomorrow—I’d be back to being as prickly as the brambles around us.

I was many things, but honest wasn’t one of them.

Luken adjusted his hold on me, laying his arm beneath my head, changing our positions slightly so I’d be more comfortable. He was so tender about it all that I found myself relaxing, despite the guilt that still ate me up inside.

“I’m going to hate you again when I wake up,” I warned him as my eyes started to close.

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