I replayed the afternoon’s events on slow-mo in my mind, going over every line, every syllable.He was right, of course.I had been a jackass and she had barely said two words.She had been scared and anxious and it had been the perfect time to prove that I wasn’t a bloody fucking asshole.And I’d gone and proven the exact opposite.
I met my brother’s stare again, ignoring the judgment in his glare.“Is she pregnant?”
The laugh he released this time bounced off the frames of photos that lined the fireplace mantle.“As if I’m going to be the one to tell you.Hell no.You can man up and talk to her.”
My body melted into the chair, exhaustion, frustration, and heaps of self-deprecation draining me of the last of my energy.“As if she’ll ever want to speak to me again.”
“Right now?Probably not,” Milo said with a shrug, standing and stretching his arms above his head.“But if you give a shit about her, which we both know you do, you’ll grow a pair and be honest with her.Whatever the fuck it was you thought you accomplished with that little spectacle earlier was bullshit.Take the night, think about how you’d feel one way or another, and then talk to your girl in the morning.”
“She’s not my girl.”
He rolled his eyes.“Talon, do me a favor.Grow the fuck up.”
Heaving a sigh, I made to stand and head toward the guest room but Milo lifted a hand to stop me.
“She’s in with Birdie tonight.I’m taking the guest room.Becauseyou’rethe one who fucked up, I think it makes the most sense that you hole up on the couch like a man who is well and truly in the dog house.”With a smirk and two finger salute, Milo stepped into the room in question and shut the door in my face.
Sinking into the too small sofa he’d just vacated, I pressed a hand to my face, feeling like an asshole.Confusion, guilt, and the burning urge to protect Misely warred for the lead spot in my mind, only heightening my inner turmoil.It seemed like no matter what I did, I was consistently making things worse.
Her expression from that afternoon plagued my mind.The hurt that lay in her eyes and the way she flinched when I threw Cara at her.What the fuck was wrong with me?But I already knew.The intention had been to hurt her.To say something awful enough that she would not forgive me.And knew I was not worth forgiving, that she was so far out of my league…but what ifs kept my stomach rolling.
What if she really did give a shit about me?What if she really did see some sort of future with me?What then?And the one that would now keep me awake the rest of the night—what if she really were pregnant?With my child?Would I really go on as I had with Kenna?Live separately from Misely and the baby we’d created on this strange little journey we had taken?
Could I miss out on all the little moments, all the firsts?Miss out on seeing Misely’s body change and glow as she grew this tiny person, this miniature version of the two of us?I wasn’t sure I could.Because unlike the first time I’d fucked up with Kenna, I was pretty sure I might actually fucking love this girl.Misely wasn’t just a convenient one-night thing, and I’d never be able to just brush her off as if she were.
forty-four
Talon
WhenIsteppedbackinto the house after my run, Birdie and Milo were standing at their kitchen counter, sipping their coffee, and speaking in hushed whispers.Misely was nowhere to be seen.The bronze eyed woman cut me a glare, accepting a kiss from my brother on her temple before shoulder checking me as she stomped past toward their shared bedroom.I took the disdain, knowing I’d earned it.
Without a word, Milo poured me a cup of black coffee, passing it to me while he took another drink of his own.Devil knew I needed it.I hadn’t slept at all, giving up the attempt around four a.m.and went for an extended run.Now my body was drenched with sweat, my muscles ached, and my mind was still as unfocused and muddied as it had been the night before.
“Is she awake yet?”I asked, dreading his answer.
Milo gave me a short nod.“Said she was taking care of some work stuff.Got a call from an old boyfriend and has been talking with him for a while.”
It was amazing how quickly possessive anger could cramp throughout my body, immediately putting me on the razor wire edge.“Old boyfriend have a name?”
“James.”
My blood ran cold.James had been the one she’d told me about the night we were stranded in the van.The one who had broken her heart.The one she’d wanted to spend her life with.I repeated his name, burning like acid on my tongue.
Milo seemed to understand because his expression turned sympathetic for only a moment before returning to indifference.“Yuuup.Bet you’re wishing you hadn’t been such a dick now.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” I snapped, pinching the bridge of my nose.
What would they be talking about?She’d said he’d just gotten engaged, but what did that really matter?They’d been an unofficial item for years.Was it possible that James had a change of heart?That he had finally opened his fucking eyes and saw what was right in front of him?What an absolute treasure he’d passed up on?
Would she take him back?Would she marry him and let him father our child and push me out?
I felt the sudden urge to throw up, the coffee sitting like mud in my gut.
Two hours passed and Misely did not emerge from Milo and Birdie’s bedroom.Even after Birdie returned to resume glaring at me over her mug, Misely did not join us.I paced down the hall, my heart hammering whenever the gentle touch of her voice hit me through the door.I couldn’t make out what she was saying.Couldn’t make out her mood.
The aggravation and impatience were threatening to eat me alive.I stopped in front of the door, lifting a hand to knock and froze.What could I say?“Please don’t take back your moron ex because I’m an asshole but I still want you to want me.”?
My fist hovered in the air for several long moments, indecision blocking my courage.A throat cleared at the end of the hall and when I looked up, my brother stood there with a serious expression.