Page 54 of Unconditional

Talon followed shortly after him, telling me he needed to finish up.

“Finish what?”Birdie asked me, pressing some buttons on her oven.

“His morning Non-Negotiables.”I looked down at my phone, a new email from Barbara letting me know that Benji was looking forward to our call later.A heavy feeling sunk in my stomach.With everything going on, I’d been dropping the ball on my responsibility to Benji, and he deserved so much better than that.I’d have to find a way to make it up to him.

When I looked up, Birdie was staring at me.“Morning Non-Negotiables?What the hell is that?”

I chuckled.“He just has a routine he likes to follow in the mornings.Helps him get his day started.”

“We all have our morning routines.Non-Negotiable?”

I shrugged, keeping my voice low.It felt like I was sharing some secret that wasn’t mine to share, even though it didn’t seem like he was hiding it.“I think it’s a control thing.It probably started when he was younger—something in his life that could be completely in his control when nothing else was.Now if he doesn’t follow his routine, he gets a little spiraly.”

There was a softness in Birdie’s eyes that reflected her empathy.Life hadn’t dealt her the easiest cards by any means either, so it was easy for her to understand other’s coping mechanisms.

“How’s things with your mom?”I felt the desperate need to change the subject away from Talon, and it had been a while since she’d last updated me on the ever-haywire conduct of her mother.

Birdie’s sigh was sad.“She’s back in rehab.”

My mouth fell open though I tried to maintain my composure.“Oh no, did she relapse?”

Carmella Koche had struggled with alcoholism all of Birdie’s life and it wasn’t until just last year—after humiliating Birdie during a drunken phone call that Milo had answered—that she finally decided it was time to get sober.A bittersweet decision for Birdie, who struggled with the fact that her mother had waited so long to get sober while also being grateful it was happening.

My best friend’s eyes grew shiny for a moment but she blinked back the unwanted tears and shook her head.“No, no.Thankfully.But when she graduated from her first stint of in-patient, she said that the urge to drink was too much pressure, so she readmitted herself after a few weeks.”

“Damn.How long this time?”

“Another five months, at first.But when it was time for her to leave, she signed on to participate in another four-month program.”

I grimaced, seeing in her expression how difficult this was for Birdie.“Does she really need all that time?”

She shrugged, busying her hands by chopping vegetables.“I’m not sure.Kevin thinks that she probably doesn’t, but maybe she’s just so scared that she’ll fall off the wagon that she’s using rehab as a crutch.”

She was referring to her mother’s husband, Kevin, who she only recently started considering her step-father.There was a long history there, with Carmella’s taste in men being…less than savory.Most, if not all of them, were alcoholics like herself, and almost all of them—with the exception of Kevin—had been abusive towards Birdie and her late brother, Nick.By the time Kevin came around, the siblings had been too jaded and mistrusting to accept him into their family.Things had changed drastically over the last year when Kevin decided to find his sobriety, and in turn so had Carmella.

Standing, I went to Birdie’s side and wrapped an arm around her.“Well, however she gets there, as long as she lands on the other side, I’m grateful.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“You deserve a sober mom, Bird.You always have.”

Her shoulders slumped beneath the weight of my arm and she leaned into me, a soft wobbling smile on her face.“You’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?”I asked, jabbing her lightly in the ribs with a finger.When we laughed together, it felt like nothing had changed.

thirty-nine

Talon

Thekitchentablefelttiny in front of me, my thighs rubbing against the top.Misely was sitting beside me though, her mere presence enough to calm my nerves.Despite our brief reconciliation in the driveway earlier that morning, I still felt a certain level of discomfort being in the presence of my little brother.

For the first time since we were children, he seemed almost carefree.The punk he’d been for as long as I could remember seemed to have vanished.In his place was a happy, love-sick man who smiled openly at the woman beside him.She was holding out a cinnamon roll to him, the icing oozing off the surface, waiting for him to take a bite.Whenever he came close to chomping down, she’d pull the pastry back and the two would share a conspiratorial laugh.

“I’ve been dying to ask,” Misely effortlessly broke the awkward atmosphere, chewing on a bite of her omelet.“How did we get past the swat team?”

“Thewhat?”Birdie half laughed.

“You’re in witness protection.I assumed that there would be like guards or something.”Misely’s eyes shuddered closed on a moan when she took a bite of her own cinnamon roll, sending a current of heat through my system.It took a concentrated effort not to pull her from the room and have my way with her, away from the prying eyes of her best friend and my brother.

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