Page 154 of Tides That Bind

Beside me, Finn and Caroline stand and we head closer to shore the moment Riley swings Lucas from his back and drops him into the space between his legs. And while they cut and bounce along the small wave out pours a sea of laughter that is the perfect sound of childhood. It’s the only thing that could add magic to the ocean.

Riley’s hands grip Lucas's waist and he drops off the board. Lucas never stops laughing. Riley doesn’t even let the water reach his chin. The tide hasn’t even gone back out yet before Lucas screams, “Just one more time!”

And they do. Again, and again, and again. For the rest of the morning, even though Lucas falls more than he successfully stands on the board on his own, Riley and Lucas don’t get out of the water, no matter how many times I call for them.

I give up trying and just sit and watch.

“He’s got a lot on his mind. Let him have some fun,” Caroline says, handing me an iced coffee after she and Finn went to pick up some breakfast. “Tomorrow he’ll have to wear a different suit.”

I push the straw through the opening of the plastic cap. “I wasn’t sure if it’s a good idea to bring Lucas. Tomorrow is his last day of Spring break.”

Caroline shrugs. “It either might be the happiest day of his life or…”

She trails off because we both know it couldn’t be the worst. That had to have been the morning Lucas woke up and I had to tell him that Daddy wasn’t coming home.

“Or give him some closure,” she says.

I hum and am about to reach for a breakfast sandwich from the bag between us when Finn calls out for me.

“Hey, Harper.” Something thumps beside me in the sand, and when I look down, I find the spool of string, following the line far back toward where Finn stands with the repaired kite.

Nestling my coffee in the sand, I grab the wooden handles, winding a little of the string tighter and step back from Caroline. I motion with my hand for Finn to move down the beach.

And like the rest of the day that’s been full of magic, the kite takes off practically on its own.

My neck will ache from rotating it between looking out at Lucas and Riley in the water and up at kite where Nate might be floating beyond it. But I’ll take the achy neck, the blisters threatening to form on my hands. Because everything else—my family—is the stuff dreams are made of even if it differs so much from the first round I drafted as a child.

It's been bitter and sweet and messy and it’s not lost on me that it’s been an absolute circus at times.

I look up at the kite and smile. It’s not that I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s that, right now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Except, of course, for the soundtrack of this chapter of our life to features echoes of a familiar dog bark.

I stepout of my small ass shower, rubbing my head with a towel. My hair has never been this long, almost hitting my shoulder blades. It doesn’t typically bother me since it practically lives tied up.

But tonight, after washing it, it bothers me.

And if I’m being honest, everything in my vicinity bothers me—the fact my door hits the toilet when you open it, or how I don’t have a freezer big enough to house more than a few cubes when I could use a hefty swig out of an ice cold bottle of vodka.

The comb snags in my ends, and I throw it into the sink, leaving my bathroom to find a pair of sweatpants. My phone beeps from where it sits on my nightstand that doubles as a bar cart. Andthatannoys me.

How big I feel in this space finally annoys me.

I grab my phone and push play.

He’s asleep.I’ve got a pint of ice cream and two spoons and some extra space on the couch.

I push record.

I need a favor first.

I leave my phone and scamper out of my apartment and into the house where I find Harper on the couch. I grab the ice cream from her hand and return it to the freezer. Back in the living room, Harper is playing my message.

She cocks her head. “What kind of favor?”

“You have Nate’s clippers still?” The buzz cut never retired when Nate left the Marines.

Harper stands. “I think so.”

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